Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

Election Outcome Uncertain, Expert Says Stay Angry

Experts tell voters to remain angry through the final tally | ScrappleFace.com

A noted elections expert cautioned Americans against becoming complacent, kind, tolerant or charitable in the final hours before Tuesday’s midterms, or even afterward. The source, who is not Russian nor a cable news executive, said “maintaining rage sustains civilization.”

(2018-11-05) — Just hours before Tuesday’s final votes in the 2018 Congressional elections, a noted expert called the outcome “highly uncertain” and urged all Americans to “remain angry.”

According to the noted expert, “Your neighbor, your best friend, even your Mother, will likely betray this country and condemn it to another 1,000 years of darkness, or a catastrophic ice age, or a collision with a meteor or something like that.”

The unnamed source, who is not Russian, said the biggest challenge the country faces will be to maintain the necessary fear and loathing until the final poll in the last state closes…and beyond.

“Don’t let up,” he said. “You might think there’s nothing you can do, or that victory by your side, or by the enemy, is inevitable. That’s not true. You must use these final hours to fill your Facebook wall and Twitter feed with all the rage which has consumed you for the past nine-months. Feel it surge through your biceps and down into your fingertips. Loose the hounds of Hell onto that keyboard like the future of the republic — or of our Democracy, as you prefer — depends upon it.”

While many Americans may feel a natural urge to put electoral division behind them, and to return to the kindness, tolerance and “charity toward all” that characterizes these United States, the expert source said, “This kind of thinking will get us all killed, or at least disenfranchised.”

Quoting President John Adams, he added, “Our Constitution was made only for a seething and unforgiving People. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

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American People: ‘No Thanks’ to More Kavanaugh Docs

(2018-09-04) — Despite Democratic senators’ insistence to the contrary, the American people said today, “We don’t want to read any more documents related to the confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the U.S. Supreme Court.”

Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-VT, among others on the Senate Judiciary Committee, repeatedly claimed during the first day of confirmation hearings that, not just Leahy’s caucus, but “the American people” were dissatisfied with the more than 500,000 pages of documents the committee has received so far, including more than 10,000 pages of Kavanaugh’s judicial opinions.

But when reached by phone, the American people declined to review additional documents.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” the people said, “We enjoyed the first 500,000 pages, but we’re good.”

Between their careers, getting kids to various events, and keeping up with Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, the American people said they “don’t have as much time as one might hope to scrutinize the complete anthology of writings and documents related to of one of the most prolific legal scholars, and accomplished public servants, of our day.”

“Let’s face it,” said the American people. “We’re not really big ‘document readers’ anyway, and this is a busy month. But thanks for thinking of us.”

 

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Alex Jones Threat Spurs Facebook ‘Don’t Click’ Button

(2018-08-07) — To combat the threat of internet hate-speech from Alex Jones and others, Facebook, Apple, and YouTube, among other social media platforms, today announced a new “Don’t Click” button. The feature will offer “another option” to users who feel compelled to watch or listen to hate speech and other material that “violates community standards.”

The new option comes after many social media platforms this week announced the removal of Alex Jones’ InfoWars pages, videos and podcasts as a way to “pro-actively protect Americans from unpopular ideas.” Jones’ reckless violation of “community standards” spurred action by the democratically-elected Social Media Standards Councils in thousands of communities worldwide, which then rose as one to order the Joint Community Standards Enforcement Brigade to remove and ban Jones’ content.

The communities then realized the scope of the threat, since Alex Jones does not hold a monopoly on unpopular ideas.

The global consortium of standards councils formed a joint committee to investigate alternatives that would “protect users from seeing or hearing things with which they disagree, things that are wrong, or things that inspire bad feelings.”

“Then it hit us,” said a member of the committee. “All of the complaints came from people who didn’t like Alex Jones, disagreed with his opinions, and didn’t want to watch him. If people could simply click a ‘Don’t Click’ button, they’d have a way out. They wouldn’t have to watch things they don’t want to watch.”

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‘Bad Actors’ Ban to Shut Down Facebook by 2019

(2018-08-01) — As Facebook announced it had eliminated 32 pages engaged in what it called “coordinated inauthentic behavior,” a spokesman said the firm is committed to remove all inauthentic content by “bad actors,” and thus to completely shut down the social media platform by late 2019.

“Whoever set up these now-defunct accounts went to great lengths to obscure their true identies,” the Facebook spokesman said. “During our probe, we discovered it’s not just Russian agents abusing the platform that way. Facebook is riddled with bad actors pretending to be someone they’re not, clogging the service with inauthentic content aimed at making others think more highly of them than they ought.”

The inaccurate picture of real life manufactured by the vast majority of Facebook users stokes envy, acrimony and division, the source said. For the good of humanity, the company decided to shut down all such accounts.

“In the beginning, we just wanted a place for people to connect and strengthen relationships,” he said, “but our users, not to mention our advertisers, have turned Facebook into a cesspool of phoniness, staged photos, and inaccurate descriptions of daily life that make other people feel inadequate.”

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Obama Fears Backlash on Muslims Who Pledge to ISIS

Obama concerned about anti-ISIS backlash after San Bernardino shooting.

President Obama in a somber moment as he mulls the likelihood of anti-ISIS backlash when news broke that one of the San Bernardino shooters had pledged allegiance to the Islamic State.

(2015-12-04) — Minutes after learning that one of the shooters in this week’s San Bernardino attacks, that left 14 dead and injured 21, had pledged allegiance to the Islamic State on Facebook, the White House urged Americans to remain tolerant of “differences”, in an apparent effort to head off an anti-ISIS backlash.

“Many devotees of ISIL are patriotic Americans like you and I,” President Obama said in a written statement. “They’re just peacefully reading the Koran and the Hadith and exercising their First Amendment freedom of religion, hoping and praying for the return of the Mahdi to reign over a global caliphate under Allah’s Sharia. In other words, they’re good people.”

A White House spokesman said the president knows that many Americans are prone to react harshly, even violently, against “people who aren’t the same as them,” adding “who can forget the atrocities committed by Christians during the Crusades, etcetera.”

Obama ordered the Homeland Security secretary to step up surveillance of anti-ISIL hate groups, and assured the Council on American-Islamic Relations that his administration will do everything it can to keep our “all too common bigotry and hate” from harming the peaceful people he called “Caliphate-Americans.”

 

 

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Facebook Redesign Mimics Newspaper, Delivered Daily

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced yesterday that the social site’s new interface will look more like a newspaper, in response to user nostalgia over the papers they no longer subscribe to at home.

“Not only will it look like a newspaper,” said Zuckerberg, “but starting next week, Facebook will be delivered to you once each day.”

The young billionaire predicted that daily Facebook delivery would increase GDP in the U.S. and other nations by up to 11 percent, since the current 24/7 non-stop streaming interface is “an addictive, soul-sapping time-suck that kills worker productivity.”

Zuckerberg said users of the Facebook mobile app — for iDevices and Android — will soon get “the most realistic newspaper experience ever” when the firm rolls out its “virtual ink” version, with type that actually rubs off on your fingers when you swipe the screen.

Facebook to Mimic Newspaper

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said people miss the newspapers they cancelled years ago, so he’s changing the social site’s interface to be more “Victorian.”

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