Posts Tagged ‘Liberal’

The Village Voice Ceases: May Get Haircut, Real Job

(2018-09-01) — The Village Voice website stopped posting new content Friday, one year after the former New York City tabloid ceased print publication.

In a written statement, The Voice said it plans to “get a haircut, get a real job and maybe a rent-controlled apartment where I won’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.”

Spawned in 1955 by four men — including liberal activist, novelist and playwright Norman Mailer — The Voice really bloomed during the beatnik and hippie eras as a Left-wing, opinion-drenched, pseudo-journalistic vanity project, similar to The New York Times, only weekly.

“I’m too old for this sh**,” The Voice confided to an unnamed source. “Dude, my old Ivy League pals are making bank on Wall Street, driving Tesla’s and vacationing in the Hamptons. Meanwhile, I’m still shacking up in a buddy’s apartment in Greenwich Village, sleeping on the couch, and eating Ramen…and I’m almost 63.”

The Voice plans to “look for a job where I can sleep late, get paid to shoot off my mouth whenever I want just to piss people off, but do it wearing a suit and tie so it looks legit, you know?”

However, The Voice is not sure which political office he’ll seek first.

Share Button
 

Justice Ginsburg to Stay, ‘So Am As Can Able Do To’

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg released this recent photograph as additional evidence of her fitness to remain on the high court.

(2014-08-01) — Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, under pressure from Democrats to retire before a potential Republican majority takes the Senate, said this week that she’ll remain on the highest court in the land, “So am as can able do to, and perhaps longer.”

The octogenarian Liberal jurist said she’s monitoring her own ability to do the job, and will know when it’s time to go based on several indicators.

“Can you think as carbuncle masticate curmudgeon? Can you wrote fluidity pastoral semper fi? At my age, you take it year by hamstring staplegun cantaloupe. I’m OK this year.”

Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he has spoken informally with Ginsburg at a D.C. social event and that “she’s as lucid and intellectually-sharp as ever I’ve seen her. I’m comfortable with her extending her tenure on the Court.”

Share Button