(2008-10-13) — Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama today unveiled his plan to rescue the “people of the world” from economic uncertainty — a comprehensive plan which includes a bailout of Republican rival John McCain’s own publicly-financed election bid.
“American taxpayers are already on the hook for the $84 million the government gave to John McCain’s presidential campaign,” said Sen. Obama. “At this point, the McCain campaign is like AIG or Fannie Mae….it’s too big to fail. I have introduced my economic plan in order to rescue John’s floundering efforts.”
Indeed, financial analysts said the strategy just might work.
The Obama economic plan calls for boosting taxes on “only that tiny percentage” of people and businesses that generate profits or taxable income, and provides tax cuts to countless millions of Americans who don’t currently pay taxes.
“The objective,” the Illinois Democrat said, “is to reduce ‘the greed incentive’ that drives people to work harder, improve productivity, slash expenses, take innovative risks and discover new markets. All of these vices can result in stress, injuries and billowing columns of greenhouse gases.”
At the same time, the tax rebates to those who don’t pay taxes, he said, “will get millions of Americans closer to that happiness our Founders talked about pursuing.”
Sen. Obama said the only people who might get hurt by his plan, “other than corrupt corporate fat cats, are those who work for greedy corporations and small businesses, own stock or mutual funds, own homes, buy fuel, or hold savings accounts in banks that invest in greedy corporations.”
In addition, Sen. Obama today proposed that people be allowed to withdraw, without penalty, from their Individual Retirement Accounts and 401(K) plans to take advantage of the current trough in stock prices, thus reducing the amount of tax they pay on those disbursements.
“When you sell low, it’s like a punch in the nose to the taxman,” Sen. Obama told a cheering crowd of undecided voters in Ohio.
Sen. John McCain welcomed the Obama economic plan, noting that, “When Americans discover what his plan actually says, I believe it will give my campaign the leg up we need and deserve. I’m grateful to the gentleman from Illinois.”
25 responses so far ↓
1 boberinyetagain // Oct 13, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Plan? I’ve seen no evidence of any itelligent thinking on this whole subject. I’d say a “plan” needs at least a dash of thinking but then I’m a starry eyed dreamer…
Very funny Scott!
2 JamesonLewis3rd // Oct 13, 2008 at 2:46 pm
God Bless America
3 Hawkeye // Oct 13, 2008 at 4:11 pm
The Obama economic plan calls for boosting taxes on “only that tiny percentage†of people and businesses that generate profits or taxable income, and provides tax cuts to countless millions of Americans who don’t currently pay taxes…
Too funny Scott! (except that this part of your post is NOT satire).
4 mig // Oct 13, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Just saw McCain and his wife Cindy. Wow!
5 Left, right, and funny : The Daily Scroll // Oct 13, 2008 at 5:19 pm
[...] from Scott Ott at ScrappleFace, breaking news: “Obama Unveils Plan to Bail Out McCain Campaign“: “2008-10-13) — Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama today unveiled his plan [...]
6 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 6:46 pm
In today’s news Obama wants to block homes from being repossessed for three months. Why not just turn the banks over to the control of Washington? I thought the current bailout plan was triggered by people in the lending business not receiving their payments on time? Isn’t that why we had to fork over our money? How about getting the politicians noses out of businesses, and block their ability to line their pockets by selling their regulation authority. Government needs to quit minding everybody else’s beeswax and work on rediscovereing its constitutional duties.
Can the American people actually handle their own lives if given the opportunity? YES, WE CAN! And those that cannot might just become fast learners in the school of hard knocks. Quit coddling, and start challenging us to be responsible for ourselves. Personal responsibility? I must really be one hard hearted conservative hatemonger…
7 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 6:52 pm
“Obama told a cheering crowd of undecided voters in Ohio.”
To go home and decide not to bather to go vote since they obviously can’t comprehend any of the current issues facing America…
8 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 6:56 pm
bather??? I said bother, why doesn’t my keyboard pay closer attention?
Funny thing is the second word in the wv was “musicale” but I noticed as I hit submit that I had typed “misicale”, no worries mate, it posted anyway.
9 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Today is a good day for me to mark off my 46th year and begin the next one, on my countdown to the big 5-0. Personally I would rather that the Lord return first.
10 gafisher // Oct 13, 2008 at 7:23 pm
“I believe it will give my campaign the leg up we need and deserve.
Some might say a dog could do that, John. Even so, when polls put Obama only in single digits ahead of the tepid McCain Campaign it’s an indicator of just how weak the Democrat Candidate really is. He needs every felon, illegal alien, multiple voter and Dead-O-Crat just to pull off a tie.
mkk Re the misspelled ReCaptcha, the little “stop spam, read books” slogan tells the story: one of the words in each ReCaptcha pair is known; the other was undecipherable by OCR software being used to convert scanned books into electronic form. If you enter the “known” word correctly, they accept your “vote” on the unknown one. “Musicale” will keep coming up randomly until they get enough matching “votes” for one spelling to accept it.
11 gafisher // Oct 13, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Hey, Happy Birthday mkk!
50. Ah, I remember 50. Much better than the double-nickel birthday, but Maranatha would be better.
wv - horribly 25 - Youth is wasted on children.
12 Darthmeister // Oct 13, 2008 at 8:49 pm
ACORN, AYERS, and now the socialist New Party.
If it was anyone but Obamessiah, it would be three strikes you’re out. Is there any question among rational people that Obummer is a stealth leftist that can only spell trouble for America?
13 Darthmeister // Oct 13, 2008 at 9:03 pm
The Democratic Party is dirty with Freddie and Fannie money … Freddie, Fannie, and the Left
14 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Thank You gafisher! To celebrate my BD I went off to work about a half hour late this morning. There I discovered that the chosen parking location for my new work rig was not good for snowy winter weather such as we had this past weekend. The driver’s side of the vehicle was directly beneath the eave on the west side of our warehouse, so as the snow melted and ran off of the roof it ran down the side of my truck - and seeing as this morning’s temperature was below 20 degrees, the side of the truck was layered heavy with ice. Just ahead of the rear wheel is a small compartment which contains the AC power cord for the refrigeration units, which was covered in ice. The manufacturer decided to use a small round knob to operate the latch for this compartment, and to make it idiot proof (so you could not move the vehicle without first unplugging it) they installed a switch that interrupts the starter circuit. Once that obstacle was overcome, I was relieved to discover the driver’s door was not frozen shut, but both steps on the fuel tank were covered in almost three inches of ice, one slip there and it would not be a pretty sight. Then there is the new computerized engine controls that prevent excessive idle time, which I felt could eventually lead to the engine warming enough to use the defroster to make the snow and ice disappear from the cab of the truck, specifically the windshield and windows. Monday morning means that the truck is not loaded with fresh product for the day’s sales activity and I normally spend an hour and a half to two hours loading the truck. (An ideal time to allow the defrosters to eliminate the frozen matter, if only the engine was allowed to run more than three minutes while the vehicle is not in motion.)
Needless to say, I didn’t need any more difficulties to start my workweek. But what you need and what you get are often not in harmony. The school route driver was trying to get her first pallet of chocolate half pints out of the storage trailer and whoever had put it in there somehow had it wedged between one “load-lock” bar near the bottom on the front side, and one near the top on the rear. Many of the cases of milk were no longer “locked” into the ones beneath them and on the front the two bottom layers were actually forced underneath the bar. (I’d really like to know how on earth the guy managed to get it in such a position, as it would appear to be impossible.) With a lot of effort we were able to work the cases out of their cozy “home” and remove the load-lock bars. (Which can only be removed by moving them downward)
I finally left the warehouse to “begin” my day two hours behind schedule. Then the cell phone began to ring…
It’s all in a day’s work. The coffee was good, but I worked through my normal breakfast break @ Hardees and had to settle for a couple of dawgs from the convenience store after the deliveries were made. No raise in a year and I have had a couple of interesting offers in the past week, should I?
15 camojack // Oct 13, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Well, since Obama broke his promise regarding campaign financing, now he can afford to bail out the McCain campaign…
16 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Here is an excerpt from the article that Darth linked above.
“Now that the crisis has arrived, Democratic finger-pointing has become the order of the day. Leading the charge, Barack Obama not only blames Republicans, but tacitly blames capitalism as a whole,”
Interestingly enough, Ayers and Dohrn were/are working to destroy capitalism.
Coincidence???
Here is a link to an interview with Ayers and Dohrn, notice the last line from the interviewer.
Change…humm, I wonder if Ayers, Dohrn, and Obama are on the same page?
I do not know. But there seems to be plenty of little things out there to keep me suspicious about all of them. And why would I consider voting for him as a Christian that is infinitely and adamantly pro-life?
So, really now, why should you, my Christian friend?
17 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Now, now, Camo. He didn’t “break his promise”, he simply had a “change ” of mind. He’s heavily into change ya know.
In fact, he believes so strongly in change that it is unfair to hold him to any once stated position!
18 mindknumbed kid // Oct 13, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Not so fast. First he has to get sHrillary out of hock…apparently she needs the money bad because both Hill-n-Bill are starting to say thing helpful to Obama. Aren’t politicians about the craziest creatures to observe?
19 Hawkeye // Oct 14, 2008 at 7:59 am
MKK,
Belated Happy Birthday!
20 BlackLion31U // Oct 14, 2008 at 8:55 am
MKK -”In today’s news Obama wants to block homes from being repossessed for three months. Why not just turn the banks over to the control of Washington?”
DOH!! MKK - You must be profetic! Just in, W has anounced that part of the big bailout plan will be used by the US government to buy equity in banks.
Socialism, Republicans, Democrats, Capitalism. How do you all make sense of it anymore?
My God Bless Our Troops
21 Darthmeister // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:16 am
Ooooo.., the ever so tolerant, intellectual and respectful moonbats engaging in their version of respectful public discourse.
I bet Castro, Kim Jong Il, Ahmadaboutjihad, and any other leader of Islamist regimes would get a better reception. And these liberal haters think they will accomplish national unity and world peace with such pooh-flinging monkey antics? If liberal Donks keep up this incivility there will indeed be civil war in the streets of America in our lifetimes. A people can endure such juvenile mockery from elitists only so long, particularly from liberal liars who promise civil respect in public. How illiberal of these New Yorker hypocrites.
And where is the liberal media in all this clucking their tongues? You won’t see this on CBS/NBC/ABC/NPR/CNN/PBS/MSNBC et al. If what these liberal moonbats are doing isn’t pure, unadulterated hate, I don’t know what is. Sorry, I forgot, when liberals engage in hate they’re actually engaging in “righteous indignation” or they’re just “venting their frustrations.”
Oh, and I can’t wait until the trolls blame the victims in this example. You know, McCain supporters “brought it upon themselves”, blah, blah, blah.
Yes people, this is what four years under a Barack Obama administraton will look like as liberal Democrats attempt to drag this country further down the road to their communist utopia.
22 Darthmeister // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:17 am
Oooops, here’s the link.
23 Darthmeister // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:21 am
BTW, those liberal socialist New Yorkers probably aren’t acting much different than the German National Socialists (NAZI) who mocked traditional Germans and the “old way” as they consolidated their political power to put their messiah into the Chancellory in hopes of establishing their thousand year utopia.
24 Ms RightWing, Ink // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:37 am
Darthmeister
That is about as scary as the pro-Islamic parade in New York City where even the police took off their shoes and knelt toward Obama, er the Eastern holy hole. The video is supposed to be on the Atlas Shrugged web site, but I don’t have time to look it up right now.
Maybe you can find it.
’nuff said.
25 mindknumbed kid // Oct 14, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I forgot the link for #16, now I can’t find the piece again…thirty lashes with a wet noodle for me.
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