May 1st, 2013 
Scott Ott 
President Obama preemptively praised an unnamed NBA player as a “civil rights trailblazer” when he learned the pro athlete will soon ‘come out’ as a Brony.”President Obama said he’s proud of an as-yet-unnamed NBA free agent slated to “come out” later this week as a Brony. The mystery basketball pro has reportedly led a secret life as a devotee of the “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” animated series, and until now was unwilling to admit “who I really am” to his teammates.
Upon learning of the imminent revelation, the president phoned the Brony-ballplayer to praise him in advance as a “civil rights trailblazer,” and to tell him that his openness about his true identity will “surely pave the way for other prominent public figures to come out of the shadows.”
The White House, however, denied rumors that the president himself is a closeted Brony, but cautioned that the denial doesn’t imply that anything would be wrong if he were.
The player, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the president’s personal involvement overwhelms him, and makes his pending announcement seem much more significant — or in his words, “bigger than Benghazi.”
The NBA and the players’ union immediately unveiled a program designed “to ease the transition for Brony players, and to create an atmosphere of tolerance, acceptance, and recognition of the outstanding achievements that closeted Bronies have made to the game for years.”
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Chris Dodd, CEO of MPAA, explains the new ‘Check the Box’ movie rating system, demonstrating a stereotypical gesture that would be flagged to let parents better protect their children.
