(2002-09-22) — Scientists on four continents, working collaboratively, will announce this week that they have discovered the cause of evil, thereby putting a cure within reach.
Michael Kinsley, the writer whose recent Slate.com column (9/19/02) sparked the research, said, “I knew it could be done. When the terrorists attacked on 9/11, my first thought was ‘Why?’. I knew if we could answer that question, it would put an end to evil around the world.”
The scientists started with Kinsely’s assumption that anyone who does something evil must have a good reason.
“From that point, the conclusion was a breeze,” one scientist said. “The good news is that the United States is largely responsible for all evil acts, especially those committed against its people. So we’ve isolated the problem.”

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