(2003-04-15) — With the war in Iraq drawing to a close, U.S. President George Bush turned his attention to the frozen American economy. He characterized his battle plan as “Shoppin’ Thaw.”
“Americans constitute the finest shopping force the world has ever seen,” said Mr. Bush. “We plan to direct our forces to hit the major department stores, malls and downtown retail districts. Our strategy includes a significant cyber-attack as well. We’ll go up the Amazon and similar tributaries.”
Critics immediately attacked the plan as simplistic, and naive.
“Bush just isn’t smart enough to understand the nuances of economics,” said an unnamed, unemployed economist. “To say that buying stuff will fix the economy, is like suggesting that Iraqi people would welcome the overthrow of their beloved leader, Saddam Hussein…okay, well that’s not the best analogy. I’ve been using that for a year or so, and haven’t had time to make up a new one.”
The major news networks have hired retired government economists to comment on the President’s plan, and predict what he would do next.

Post This to Your Facebook