(2003-03-15) — U.S. government encyption experts labored through the night to break the code in a statement by U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur, D-OH, purported to be an apology.
Speaking to a VFW post in East Toledo last night Rep. Kaptur said, “You have heard much about my earlier statements on terrorism, and I just wanted you all to know that due to the political nature of what happened with my original statements, if my remarks have hurt anyone, I’m sorry,” Miss Kaptur said. “Let me also say to each of you tonight [that] I am one member of Congress who will never make politics of war. It is too deadly serious.“
She referred to her March 1 comparion of al-Qaeda members to American revolutionaries: “One could say that Osama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purpose are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cast off the British crown.”
The government’s chief ‘code cracker’ said, “We’ve run last night’s statement at the VFW through a Cray supercomputer trying to figure out just what she was saying, and frankly, we’re stymied.”
The Toledo Blade announced that it was an apology, but the unnamed deciphering expert was less confident.
“The syntax of an apology usually consists of an admission of guilt, a rejection of the wrong, and a commitment to avoid such behavior in the future,” he said. “We’re not seeing those elements here.”
Rep. Kaptur concluded her ‘apology’ by stating how she views America’s role in the world: “…the U.S. is becoming more hated to the point it is now viewed as the primary enemy.”

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