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Castro Wins ‘Close Race’ for Cuban Presidency

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2003-03-06) — Fidel Castro, who garnered a mere 97 percent of the popular vote in January, was nevertheless officially elected by the Cuban Parliament to a sixth term as president.
Saddam Hussein, who won his recent re-election with 100 percent of the Iraqi vote, sent a telegram chiding his fellow dictator for the “close race.”
“You will have to work harder this time, comrade,” Mr. Hussein wrote. “I would hate to see you defeated. Next thing you know, you’ll be on 60 minutes doing Point/CounterPoint.”
Mr. Castro attributes his low vote total to his poor performance in a series of debates with himself.
“I had a hard time in the rebuttal segments,” he said. “I know the guys will be ribbing me at the next Dictator-for-Life Reunion in Pyongyang.”

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Tags: Culture