(2009-07-04) — The official Iranian news agency reports that “uncoerced confessions” from leaders in the reform movement have revealed a subversive plot to make the Mullahs in the Guardian Council “look like evil despots who crush dissent, shoot and bludgeon unarmed civilians, and do whatever it takes to maintain their tenuous totalitarian grip on the nation.”
“These betrayers of the Islamic Republic admitted that they have coached civilians to fall under the truncheon blows of the Basij militia in an overly dramatic way that reflects poorly on the legally-constituted government,” according to an unnamed spokesman for the Guardian Council. “The traitors revealed the existence of boot camps where radicals learn how to writhe in pain or expel blood from orifices when smitten with ordinary crowd-control tools like bullets, so as to engender sympathy among the naive and uninformed.”
The government source said the confessions, “obtained in polite conversation with leading reformers during extended visits at government-run hospitality units, offer concrete proof that June’s street protests were nothing but carefully-orchestrated efforts by godless anarchists to deprive the people of their right to remain silent.”
The reformers who have confessed to this treachery today released a statement through the official news agency admitting: “We have willfully done all of the things of which we stand accused by the Guardian Council. If we should learn of additional crimes to which we have not yet confessed, we will eagerly acknowledge our complicity in those as well in order to magnify our disgrace.”
9 responses so far ↓
1 onlineanalyst // Jul 4, 2009 at 8:37 am
“…to deprive the people of their right to remain silent.”
Irony noted, Scott. If I may add further irony, your observations are well said.
When citizens lose their right to speak out or to seek redress, then their fundamental rights as free humans are lost.
2 upnorthlurkin // Jul 4, 2009 at 8:44 am
Sounds eerily like they’d fit right in here….the official O-bot news agency reporting only that which the fascist-in-chief wants reported. Does anyone else notice you never hear the terms Liberty and Freedom from this bunch of miscreants?!
3 upnorthlurkin // Jul 4, 2009 at 8:48 am
Good morning, OLA! I must be channeling you this morning! Ha!
4 Beerme // Jul 4, 2009 at 11:40 am
Freedom. We used to stand for it. Now we need to stand up for it.
5 MajorDomo // Jul 4, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Looks like Obummer may have taken over here. I couldn’t refer to the common name of the Democrat party symbol.118
6 R.A.M. // Jul 4, 2009 at 3:49 pm
This “government source” didn’t happen to have previously been Saddam Hussein’s “Information Minister” did he?
Good to see you posting again Beerme!
Happy Independence day everyone, even you Obama-bots!
7 Fred Sinclair // Jul 4, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I posted this on a later string, didn’t know this was still in use.
Palin in the special election of 2010 after Obama is found ineligible!!!!
I hope and pray that God will allow me to live at least long enough to see how long “The One” will serve in prison (along with his gang of thugs) when he is tried and sentenced for the crimes we are already know about!
I tried to keep count of the unconstitutional things he’s done, but there are so many that I’ve lost count.
btw that’s the constitution that he swore under oath to uphold and defend. I believe that given the chance to carry out his real intentions he would happily and with great glee feed it into a paper shredder .
This is my America. Waxless Fred
Enjoy this great piece about Bob Hope……..if you wait until the entire video is complete, you will have the opportunity to click on other Bob Hope USO shows.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBr9cm9EWJQ
8 camojack // Jul 6, 2009 at 1:25 am
The official Iranian news agency reports that “uncoerced confessions” from leaders in the reform movement have revealed a subversive plot to make the Mullahs in the Guardian Council “look like evil despots who crush dissent, shoot and bludgeon unarmed civilians, and do whatever it takes to maintain their tenuous totalitarian grip on the nation.”
Sadly, there’s no need for any subversive plot to do that…
9 gafisher // Jul 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm
“… a subversive plot to make the Mullahs in the Guardian Council “look like evil despots …”"
They’d need a pretty creative campaign to make that convincing …
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