(2009-06-17) — With Barack Obama’s signature on a landmark presidential memorandum today, job benefits formerly reserved for a federal employee’s spouse will also be extended to an unmarried domestic partner, including homosexuals, as well as to a Facebook Friend of one’s choice and a BFF (text slang for Best Friend Forever).
“A BFF is someone who has been there for you through good times and bad and will listen to whatever you have to say,” the president noted. “And some of my Facebook Friends rival Michelle in their loyalty and willingness to share with me. They’re always inviting me for one thing or another, and they never give up on me even if I ignore them time after time. Our lives are knit together. I know when they rise and rest, what they eat and how they’re feeling at any given moment. If wives and gay partners can share in the benefits of my labor, then it would be gross injustice to exclude these people who are virtual family.”
A White House source said Mr. Obama has not decided yet if a federal employee can claim benefits for a spouse and an unmarried partner at the same time, but noted that “there’s no ethical barrier to that at this point.”
66 responses so far ↓
1 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 11:34 am
“A White House source said Mr. Obama has not decided yet if a federal employee can claim benefits for a spouse and an unmarried partner at the same time.”
He had better cover both or else there will be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth across the capital…
Good one Scott!
Will my dog be covered? He’s my BFF
2 mindknumbed kid // Jun 17, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Providing health care for everyone? Wouldn’t that be bad for the environment? It seems as though our duty to the planet is to die an expedited death in order to save it. Health care would be counter productive.
3 mindknumbed kid // Jun 17, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Aren’t we all just one great big happy family? Let government be our daddy and take care of us. It sounds good to me, I may get tired of working and sit on my backside at home, is that OK? Will daddy still love me then?
4 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 12:57 pm
We could solve another dilemna with this plan. Since few of us are married to gummint employees we could all claim to be BFF’s with one and as a result we could all get coverage which is where Obiwan wants to go.
The plan is becoming clearer. Gummint workers just need to divide us amongst themselves and sign us up on their policy.
Sweet!
5 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 1:00 pm
“It seems as though our duty to the planet is to die an expedited death in order to save it.”
MNK, you just go right ahead and do your duty, why should you care what a bunch of liberals think?
Everthink?
6 upnorthlurkin // Jun 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm
My gosh! …”I know when they rise and rest, what they eat and how they’re feeling at any given moment…”
This is eerily reminiscent of; “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good…”
This dope thinks he’s Santa Claus!!
I’ve had it! Thinking he’s God is one thing, but Santa?!
7 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:02 pm
upnorth, I think Scott wrote that part…not actual fact…I don’t think…
“this dope”…which one?
8 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Lurch:
This is eerily reminiscent of; “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good…”
This dope thinks he’s Santa Claus!!
No! He would have to think he is George W. Bush or Dick Cheney with the help of the NSA.
But, I’m sorry to say, there is no Santa Claus, and Obama never said any of that stuff the writer put quotation marks around!
That’s the danger of this kind of “satire”. One has to wonder how many will not understand that it was only intended to be humorous to the politically hateful.
As much as I hated George W. Bush, I would never have attributed words to him that he did not speak! But then, the things he actually said were always more than enough for me, and hundreds of comedians.
Everthink?
9 JQ // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:15 pm
L@Y says:
Yeah, what’s up with that? I remember when satire was serious business. None is this joking around, putting funny words in people’s mouths.
“I agree,” said Boberin. “I think Scott Ott should fire himself as managing editor of ScrappleFace.com.”
10 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm
The nerve!
I see nearly 2 dozen people showed up to protest Letterman even though he apologized (as he should have) and the apology was accepted. Man, 24 people (with no lives whatsoever)…he’s in deep doo-doo now, fired for certain.
See what damage satire/comedy can do? In the wrong hands boy…good thing Scott has the right hands
11 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:24 pm
JQ:
““I agree,” said Boberin. “I think Scott Ott should fire himself as managing editor of ScrappleFace.com.””
Are you speaking as yourself, or are you being “satirical” about boberin’s comment.
If you are doing neither, boberin has just gotten my goat!
Everthink?
12 Darthmeister // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm
You know, this is going to give new meaning to the “Flintstones” lyrics about “we’re going to have a gay ol’ time.”
Instead of Mr. Obama taking the immoral coward’s road by voting “present” on the present Iranian post-election turmoil, here are five steps he could take instead of punting this plea for liberty further down the road. Hat tip to OpinionJournal online:
Mr. Obama could …
1) … contact Mr. Mousavi to signal his interest in the situation and Mr. Mousavi’s security.
2) … deliver another taped message to the Iranian people only this time he should acknowledge the fundamental reality that the regime lacks the consent of its people to govern and is in fact an dictatorship.
3) … direct U.S. ambassadors in Europe and the Gulf to meet with local Iranian anti-regime expatriates. The symbolism of this would be powerful and expatriates tend to know far more about their countries than even our intelligence experts — and they could help guide efforts to aid reform.
4) … send additional funding for Radio Farda, an effective Persian-language radio, Internet and satellite property of Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty. Farda would help Iranians get the information and analytical context that is often denied to them by their own government.
5) … take steps to give Iranian reformers and dissidents a level playing field with the radical Islamic regime in the battle of ideas at home and on the international level.
But being the general cowards that liberals are they would much rather see “peace” under a brutal regime than to see people dying for the cause of liberty that could liberate generations to come. And leave it to liberals to actually believe that pushing totalitarian regimes into extinction somehow constitutes “meddling”. And some braindead liberals would probably consider the benign suggestions above as “meddling.”
13 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm
If this isn’t a guarantee of world peace I don’t know what is. All’s quiet on the western front…
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN1744179620090617
I feel safer just knowing that there is so much goodwill in the world. Peace will be achieved in my lifetime…yeah!
14 JQ // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I was being satirical about agreeing with you, while simultaneously (ironically?) putting words in Boberin’s mouth (er…keyboard)-words which he most likely disagrees with entirely.
Perhaps it was a stretch, but I thought it was funny.
15 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Hank, you’ve truly lost your mind…staying out of it is the very, very best thing Mr. Obama could possibly do.
Any involvement will be seen as US “meddling” (which, coincidentally we’ve been horrifically guilty of, thus the “suspicion”) and will have the exact opposite effect that I’m hoping you intend. It would give the regime a “legitimate” reason to squash the “uprising”
Further, I believe you know this but just like to carp…and when that’s about nothing that’s one thing. When it’s about endangering our interests it’s another.
Quit it
16 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:38 pm
JQ, that’s ok, I’ve been thinking of issuing Scott a written warning for some time now. We must follow protocol…otherwise he could collect unemployment when we overthrow the site and start writing our own stories.
17 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I just heard Sassy Sarah was arrested at that same rally for carrying her “Wolf Gun” in front of Letterman’s studio building.
In a related story, Sarah Palin announced her separation from Todd after being caught with another man(?) in a Transvestite Bar owned by Rudy Giuliani.
She said: “I’m fed up with the call of the wild, I’m leaving Todd for Joe the Plumber”.
With this the curly haired blond standing next to her, jerked off her(?) wig, revealing that she (?) was in fact, Joe!
Honest, you can trust me on that!
Everthink?
18 mindknumbed kid // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:09 pm
So is this the beginning of the Obamanation that maketh desolate?
19 mindknumbed kid // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Scott, I still love you brother. Can I be covered under your medical benefits?
20 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Hank, I’ve begged you to check out and read Trudy Rubin before and I’m doing so again. She’s quite the woman, go ahead…Google her
Worldview: U.S. can’t back Iran protest
There is strong evidence that the election was stolen. But Obama’s endorsement would only hurt the just cause of the opposition.
and the rest…
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/columnists/trudy_rubin/20090617_Worldview__U_S__can_t_back_Iran_protest.html
21 mindknumbed kid // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I’m going to the Buckeye in two days. My mom and dad are celebrating 60 years of heterosexual marriage on the 25th. I’ll take the laptop, but I doubt that I will get on here during our festivities.
22 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:21 pm
“But being the general cowards that liberals are …”
Gee Darthmeister, don’t you think “coward” is a bit strong?
Some have said, that if war is necessary, it would be cowardly for a person to call for the use of military force by others, while avoiding the dangers of such service themselves.
Some would also say that of such a person who calls for others to put their sons and daughters at risk, while trying not only to spare his own sons the same dangers, but trying to scam the U. S. Military out of a college education at the same time!
Some would also say that one who only became aware of his 1/8th Native American heritage in order to take advantage of that heritage for the purpose of getting other citizens to pay for his education, is a freeloader!
If such a person who scammed the government, should suddenly “see the light”, when it comes to others receiving federal benefits for the same purpose, some might say of him, he is a hypocrite!
But, I think “coward”, “freeloader”, and “hypocrite” may not be the right words, so go ahead and choose your own, but don’t be cruel!
Everthink?
23 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:28 pm
See MNK,
We do have something in common after all! My parents were also heterosexual!
Small world isn’t it?
Everthink?
24 gafisher // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Bober Re#20: “Obama’s endorsement would only hurt the just cause of the opposition.” (Quoting Trudy Rubin)
The problem is that Obama already endorsed the outcome of the Iranian election when he boasted about the presumed effect his Cairo speech. He’s really on thin ice here (above his pay grade, to be frank) but if he stays effectively silent he can’t undo the serious damage he’s already done.
25 JQ // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Boberin, re: #20-
Thanks for the link. That was a pretty interesting article. I’d probably agree that the best thing Obama could do right now is avoid taking sides but stress that we’re all watching.
We all believe that the election was tainted, but the solution is an un-tainted election (if possible), not simply declaring the likely-but-unconfirmed candidate as the winner. The end doesn’t necessarily justify the means, especially when we’re trying to prove that democracy works better (and more openly) than a dictatorship.
26 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Ms. Rubin has been offering largely unbiased but amazingly well informed opinion about the ME for years. She knows her stuff and doesn’t much care who does or doesn’t like what she has to say.
My kida gal.
Agreed, on very thin ice…but apparently that whole “Shah” thing still ticks off some of the “old timers” in Iran…some folks just can’t take a joke I guess, was all good fun but do they see it that way? Nooooo, no they don’t
27 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:53 pm
JQ,
Re:14
’sallright. Thanks.
Everthink?
28 gafisher // Jun 17, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Laugh@ Re#23: the real question is, were they heterozygotic?
29 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 5:02 pm
So we segue from the Shah thing into the “axis of evil” thing by supplying both Iraq and Iran with weapons to fight each other for a few years thus profiting handsomely from both sides.
And STILL they seem annoyed with us. And we are left scratching our heads and saying “why?…Why?”
And we’ll never know for sure, just touchy folks I guess, wayyyy touchy
30 boberinyetagain // Jun 17, 2009 at 5:05 pm
gafisher, sent me to the dictionary…
31 gafisher // Jun 17, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Sorry, Bober, just a little humor. Don’t protest outside my studio. (-:
32 Laughing@You // Jun 17, 2009 at 5:29 pm
gafisher:
“Re#23: the real question is, were they heterozygotic?”
Naw, they was Baptists!
Everthink?
33 Newsman // Jun 17, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Sheesh Darth ! I pored over that memorandum for hours with a fine totth comb and i saw no mention of the troll in your closet !
Sorry bout that………… wanna put in a good word for ya ?
34 Newsman // Jun 17, 2009 at 10:28 pm
I know I know, my spelling was off ……..
35 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 17, 2009 at 11:00 pm
So, because you say it, we're supposed to believe it, even though we know better.
Dream on.
36 ScottOtt // Jun 17, 2009 at 11:19 pm
This is a test.
37 ScottOtt // Jun 17, 2009 at 11:23 pm
[Editor's Note: As you may have noticed, the vast IT staff at ScrappleFace is, yet again, attempting to install a new comment gizmo. So far, this install has run better than the previous 10 attempts. Comments apparently post, and all old comments are being imported into this new system. You can post replies directly under the appropriate comment, and you can vote with a thumbs up or down on each comment. You may also subscribe to replies so that you receive an email when others comment on your comment.]
38 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 17, 2009 at 11:48 pm
BHO has said he doesn't want to reward the bad behavior of the financial sector (ignoring the fact that the federal government precipitated it all) but (sick puppy that he is) he proclaims loud and clear that sexual perversion is okay.
Sad.
39 Newsman // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:05 am
Hey Darth !
You have anybody else hiding in your closet these days ?
40 gafisher // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:07 am
Lookin' good so far, Scott, as one of the Hindenburg passengers was heard to say. <G>
Question from the peanut gallery: can it be set to show rather than hide replies by default? Last time around several members found replies were not being read (even by the person to whom the reply was addressed) and saw that posting them as new messages greatly increased their likelihood of being seen. Breitbart seems to have it running that way: see http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bjennings/2009/... for an example.
41 gafisher // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:07 am
Lookin' good so far, Scott, as one of the Hindenburg passengers was heard to say. <G>
Question from the peanut gallery: can it be set to show rather than hide replies by default? Last time around several members found replies were not being read (even by the person to whom the reply was addressed) and saw that posting them as new messages greatly increased their likelihood of being seen. Breitbart seems to have it running that way: see http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bjennings/2009/... for an example.
42 gafisher // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:07 am
Lookin' good so far, Scott, as one of the Hindenburg passengers was heard to say. <G>
Question from the peanut gallery: can it be set to show rather than hide replies by default? Last time around several members found replies were not being read (even by the person to whom the reply was addressed) and saw that posting them as new messages greatly increased their likelihood of being seen. Breitbart seems to have it running that way: see http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bjennings/2009/... for an example.
43 Crainiac // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:23 am
So Darth - the liberal donks, as you call them, or cowards, as you now call them - weren't they the guys who decided that Hitler had to be stopped ??? Seems to me that is what I recall. But then you probably weren't alive then so you only know what you read in the Right Wing Republican Script Book.
Oh well, what do I know ? You are so bright and knowledgeable I fail to understand why you aren't in the halls of power down in DC Land ????
BTW, how many trolls do you have stashed away in that secret closet of yours ?
44 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:24 am
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart and my Portion forever. ~~~Psalm 73:26
45 This Just In… | // Jun 17, 2009 at 9:05 pm
[...] breaking news from Scrappleface: With Barack Obama’s signature on a landmark presidential memorandum today, job benefits [...]
46 crainiac // Jun 18, 2009 at 1:43 am
Yea verily we sayeth unto thee so forth and so forth and blah blah bloooh !
47 Newsman // Jun 18, 2009 at 1:49 am
'….the fundamental reality that the regime lacks the consent of its people to govern …"
Ah, but Darthmeister we do not know that for certain …. unless of course you have the inside scoop because you were at one of the polling places. Were you in the city or a rural area as they seem to vote differently. There also seems to be a significant difference in voting preferences between those who speak English and those who only speak Farsi.
But, what do we know in the face of your alleged factual knowledge ?
48 SaneScrappler // Jun 18, 2009 at 3:12 am
Will you be passing the plate too?
Everthink?
49 mindknumbedkid // Jun 18, 2009 at 3:23 am
I'm trying to reply to comments, but it doesn't seem to be working. Unless it takes a while to show up.
50 ScottOtt // Jun 18, 2009 at 3:34 am
It seems to work via email, but not consistently on the website.
Scott Ott
Sent from iPhone
51 onlineanalyst // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:09 pm
OT: Our visitors might be interested in he roundup of Republican bills re healthcare insurance that allow for choice, affordability, and liberty. These options assure that the person seeking health insurance is not squeezed into a one-size-fits-all federal boondoggle that will lead to federal bankruptcy and rationed health care. The options put the patient-doctor relationship rightfully where it belongs: with the individual, not a bureaucracy.
52 onlineanalyst // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:11 pm
As for Obamao's lily-livered response to events surrounding the Iranian elections, the mullahs are accusing the US, their favorite whipping boy, of interference anyway. (The brutes have that much in common with apologists of Chicago thugs in common.) While the election surely is Iran's business, the abuse of human rights and repressiveness of the Iranian regime runs afoul of our nation's belief in liberty and self-determination. Iran has imported goons from Hamas and Venezuela and Russia to savage the protestors. Why do our bleeding hearts not find this interference offensive?
Obamao has only to make a firm statement that he stands with the Iranian people in their desire to determine their own governance without fear of reprisal. How hard is that?
Instead of exhibiting forthrightness and character, the cronies in Obamao's administration are attempting to hang out to dry through tawdry personal destruction charges against IG Walpin, who has exposed unethical abuse of government funds. The Holder Justice Department has accumulated a laundry list of abuses of power and politicization of judicial decisions. (How differerent are the tactics of Obamao to those of any other petty tyrant?)
.
53 onlineanalyst // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:13 pm
What a sham the "rating" system is re the comments. It is obvious that L@Y is weighting the results (because he is such a thoughtful responder, of course!).
54 onlineanalyst // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I don't know why my links don't "catch," but the options on health insurance are found here: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB12452829911542546...
55 Upnorthlurkin // Jun 18, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Morning OLA!! Good links as always! I was going to try and defend my comment way up towards the top…. but who cares?! We've been here longer than the O-bots and actually recognize satire and humor. They can sure dish it out can't they?!
56 boberinyetagain // Jun 18, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Comments here…comments there…don't think we are quite "up to speed" just yet…
57 boberinyetagain // Jun 18, 2009 at 1:24 pm
oh yeah, comments appear completely random now…might show up anywhere…
58 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 18, 2009 at 1:55 pm
As I navigate through the Scrappleface Highway and losing my way ( I need a Tom-Tom™) it seems like the nursery school syndrome has worked on the masses via the Candy Man. Ah yes, blue skies and birds ah chirping have now bestowed another segment of the country's employed.
What is up with government workers, are they so mean, ugly or otherwise that they can't find a partner of the opposite sex? Really, I think there are millions of people looking for a "opposite sex partners" out there. It must be the water.
Mindknumbkid-I am guessing that your folks live in southern Ohier. To far away for us folks near the Mistake on the Lake.
59 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jun 18, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Though I may never make it back to my original destination I must ask this question. How do you get back to your profile page to make changes?
60 Upnorthlurkin // Jun 18, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I think you just click on "intense debate" to edit your profile.
61 Upnorthlurkin // Jun 18, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Actually, just scroll up the page to the bottom of the article where it shows your login…
62 JamesonLewis3rd // Jun 18, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Ms RightWing, Ink~~
Click your name below the comment box where it says "Posting as….."
63 CWKlingon // Jun 18, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I can't see how extending federal job benefits to unmarried live-in couples can be legal under the Constitution? How can one person decide that taxpayer money can be spent this way without taxpayer approval? How can people who live a State where gay marriages are illegal be allowed to have employer benefits that are illegal to oethr taxpayers in the same State?
64 mindknumbed kid // Jun 18, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Ms RghtWing, they live down yonder in Worrshhington County, right by the river that crosses over into the promised land.
65 mindknumbed kid // Jun 18, 2009 at 7:04 pm
To have an Intense Debate or not to have an Intense Debate, this is the question!
66 Friday night funny: Fleeing communism, velcro, single-payer health care « Wintery Knight Blog // Jun 19, 2009 at 4:55 pm
[...] Obama Extends Job Benefits to Gay Partners, BFFs [...]
You must log in to post a comment.