(2003-01-03) — The White House announced a new secrecy policy today designed to more effectively protect the most sensitive government information from ever being read.
The policy calls for classified material to be published in 3,500-word stories in The New York Times. The most highly-classified information would begin appearing on the “jump page,” but many government secrets are perfectly safe on page one.
“We’ve found there’s no better way to guard information than to print it in newspapers, especially The New York Times,” said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, speaking on the condition that his middle name not be printed. “The long, so-called ‘think pieces’ provide an extra layer of protection.”
Mr. Fleischer said that although thousands of people subscribe to newspapers, they usually just skim headlines, do the puzzle, clip the coupons and look for a new job or house.
“Even if they do read the story, they know they can’t trust the reporters to be factual and objective,” Mr. Fleischer said. “So, we can hide this stuff in plain sight.”