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November 28, 2002

Iraq Unleashes Weapons of Mass Media

(2002-11-28) — The first two days of U.N. inspections in Iraq have revealed that previous worst-case scenarios were too conservative. The truth is that Iraq possesses weapons of mass media (WMM), and Saddam Hussein has already unleashed these agents of disruption.
“We were ready for anthrax, sarin, even plutonium,” said chief inspector Hans Blix, “but to be swarmed by a raving pack of scoop-hungry reporters was more than our team could take. Some of my men were in tears.”
Saddam Hussein stunned military analysts with the release of dozens of journalists, who immediately began to hamper the search for chemical, biological and nuclear weapons.
“Before we got here, Iraq was thought to be relatively free of reporters and videographers,” said Mr. Blix. “It’s as if Saddam has opened a secret warehouse. The air is thick with their distinctive whine. We are not equipped to deal with this threat to peace.”

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