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Second Memoir in a Week Rocks White House

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 37 Comments

(2008-05-29) — A new tell-all book by President George W. Bush’s most faithful companion and confidante during his White House years reveals a picture of the president potentially even more damaging than the one in former Press Secretary Scott McClellan’s new memoir, What Happened.

According to a pre-release copy of “Down Boy: Inside the Bush Culture of Deception and Arrogance” obtained by Politico.com, the author paints a picture of a president so distracted by the war in Iraq that he “ignores the needs of even his best friend,” and a Bush administration staff that “employs deceit and trickery to get what they want.”

“Shortly after the invasion, I began suspecting that my public appearances were just part of the Bush administration’s stagecraft,” according to the president’s longtime friend, known only as Barney, who describes himself as a “Black Scottish-American.”

“I had unwittingly become part of the propaganda campaign, even as the presidency veered off course,” Barney wrote. “Although I looked perpetually happy in front of the cameras, or while walking with the president on the White House grounds, inside I was wracked with doubt.”

The author claims that top White House staffers would pretend to take him in their confidence and even express admiration for the way he conducted his business.

“Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Dick Cheney — they would all pat my head and say ‘Good Boy, Barney. Heckuva job, Barney’,” he writes, “Then the next thing you know, I was in the dog house — shut off from the inner circle where they made their nefarious plans.”

“One time, Rove and Libby stepped into a room I was in to dodge Scott McClellan and to whisper about Valerie Plame,” he wrote, “They tried to buy my silence with special favors and incentives, which the Secret Service referred to in code as ‘biscuits’. At the time, I just hugged Scooter’s lower leg and feigned appreciation. But in my heart, I knew it was wrong.”

White House spokesman Dana Perino, asked to respond to the allegations in the two books, today said the president was “surprised and saddened, but he recognizes that he didn’t always see eye to eye with either author.”

“Once they leave the house,” Mr. Bush reportedly said, “you can’t control what they’re out there spreading around.”

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Tags: Media/Journalism · U.S. News

37 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Maggie // May 29, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Scott,
    Were you referring to Barney Franks?

    I might as well get this over by saying
    this administration is going to the dogs.

    Gafisher….where are you when I’m “kicking things off”?

  • 2 Maggie // May 29, 2008 at 9:35 am

    Good Morning everybody!

  • 3 Hollywood Bioethics » Blog Archive » Satire // May 29, 2008 at 10:22 am

    [...] Satire May 29, 2008 9:22 am Matthew Eppinette Misc So this has nothing to do with film, fiction, bioethics, or any of the other stuff I usually talk about here. But it’s funny: Second Memoir in a Week Rocks White House [...]

  • 4 upnorthlurkin // May 29, 2008 at 10:25 am

    Good Morning, Maggie! Yes Scott, I’d agree that what they’re spreading around is most likely the same stuff! Mysteriously leaves dark green circles in the lawn too! :lol:

  • 5 Fred Sinclair // May 29, 2008 at 10:26 am

    I think they both are “spreading around” pretty much the same stuff. Except that Barney at least is openly honest about what he spreads around.

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 6 Fred Sinclair // May 29, 2008 at 10:29 am

    unl #4 - Good minds think alike but you beat me to it! Good job.

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 7 Just Ranting // May 29, 2008 at 10:32 am

    The Democrat lap dog press will have a howling good time with this.

  • 8 Fred Sinclair // May 29, 2008 at 10:33 am

    o.t. -
    “If the House of Representatives has now declared it ‘illegal’ for the government of Saudi Arabia to restrict oil production, why is it still legal for the government of the United States to restrict oil production? In fact, the government of the United States restricts pretty much every form of energy production other than the bizarre fetish du jour of federally mandated ethanol production.” —Mark Steyn

    As Mark well knows, without Rush Limbaugh’s obvious answer to his succinctly framed rhetorical question, “The answer to EVERY problem facing America today, from the price of gasoline to the ‘war on poverty’; education; the ‘war on drugs’, etc, etc. is liberals.” They are united in their hatred of God. This is true 100% of the time. Not just Democrats (although they are by far and large the majority) but to include our RINOS. there is not even one problem that cannot be laid at the door of the liberals and their anti- God stance. Not one!

    No, correction here, there is one problem facing America that cannot be laid at their door; that is the “Do nothing” complacency of Americans who are letting it happen!

    The Islamofascist are a minor problem. The Communists/Socialists are a minor problem. All other factions are minor, compared to America’s real enemy - Liberals, who are totally committed to the destruction of America and our way of life. Born in America or emigrating from elsewhere (legally or illegally) they try to pass themselves off as Americans. Bearing the same relationship to Americans as a Crocodile born in a chicken hatchery bears to chickens.

    CAUTION: Chickens beware!!!

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 9 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 10:57 am

    Scott, this one has me “howling with laughter!! ““Down Boy: Inside the Bush Culture of Deception and Arrogance” … will be a must-read, especially for those of us who have a deep love for our canine “best friends.”

    ““They tried to buy my silence with special favors and incentives, which the Secret Service referred to in code as ‘biscuits’.
    [ :lol: wiping eyes]

  • 10 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 11:06 am

    Looks like George Soros has paid off the “Black Scottish-American,” Barney, too. Sheesh, Barney…talk about “biting the hand that feeds you.” :-(

  • 11 Fred Sinclair // May 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

    da Bunny #9 - When I finished reading it to Sally (my gal Sal), her only comment was “Arf, Arf!!” (Which may mean, “Barney’s a rat-fink”, and then again she might have meant something else).

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 12 woodnwheel // May 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

    Scott, you already know this (I just told you) but for the benefit of my fellow Scrapplers, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing from the moment I started reading to the end. Pure gold!

    wv: report imposed — I so wish I could come up with a witty answer to that, but nothing comes to mind…

  • 13 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 11:40 am

    Fred #11…translating “dogspeak” can be difficult at times. I haven’t read the article to my “boy.” Don’t want to put any ideas into his head, ya’ know! ;-)

    [If you look up the word "spoiled" in the dictionary, my dog's picture is the actual definition!]

  • 14 RedPepper // May 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” ~ Mark Twain

  • 15 Fred Sinclair // May 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    da Bunny #13 - All of his life, my father consistently swore that - “The only reason God invented women, kids and pets was that He knew that man would always be in need of someone to spoil.

    Gen. 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
    Gen. 5:2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

    So “their” name was Adam and “man” therefore is generic for both male and female - consequently females also need someone to spoil.

    My father almost made his own religion out of living his life in an ever ongoing effort to “spoil” my Mama. (Actually he was pretty good at it.)

    It was pretty much double edged since she reciprocated by doing everything she could to try and “out spoil” him.

    Sally is an 8 years old “Cocker/Beagle”, for the most part (as long as her food is on time) she mainly tolerates me - after learning that wheelchair wheels are to be respected.

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 16 Fred Sinclair // May 29, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    RedPepper #14 - The principal difference between a dog and a wife - This will dispel all doubts. If you don’t believe it,
    just try this experiment.

    Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for
    an hour.

    When you open the trunk, see who is really happy to
    see you……

    Heirborn Ranger

  • 17 upnorthlurkin // May 29, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Da Bunny - re #13, I proudly assert, your boy shares that spot (spoiled) with my little girl!! Fear not, there’s plenty of room!

  • 18 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Fred, my “little boy” is a 5-yr old “mutt.” Possibly a Jack Russell/Shepherd mix, but we don’t know for sure, since he was “rescued” as an abandoned stray puppy. I spoil my dog, and I spoil my husband. {Maggie can attest to that.} And, I certainly make every effort NOT to resemble the “wife” in your joke at #16. :-)

  • 19 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    upnorthlurkin, yes, your sweet “little girl” sure does look like she has a wonderful life. And, why not? It’s such a blessing to be able to give and receive the unconditional love between human and pet, isn’t it?

  • 20 upnorthlurkin // May 29, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    Yes, they (pets) are truly one of my favorites of all of God’s gifts!! (As I type she lies snoring, tip of her tongue hanging out, in the kneewell of my desk).

  • 21 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 29, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    And meanwhile Spud, the White House cat just pooped in the Rose Garden. When asked later why he did that, he just flicked his tail and said, “no comment.”

  • 22 Possumtrot // May 29, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Dogs rule!

    They give us unconditional love, and when your parents are gone, that’s a priceless commodity.

    I’m especially tickled by this story, since Sammy, the huge, bear-like Lab+? just finished his adventure in the neighborhood. I couldn’t bear the burden of keeping a dog prison another day, so I called the neighbors for a heads-up, and threw the gate open.

    One of the neighbors called the next day to say that Sammy had been sighted with “a little brown friend”, but both were acting like teenagers on a tear, and neither responded to the entreaties of food and a scratch behind the ears.

    Sammy turned up safe in the yard a couple of days later. He was doubtless ravaging the ‘hood, and one of my more responsible neighbors brought him back, shoved him into the yard, and risked the electric fence to shut the gate.

    I speak fluent Dogese, but when I asked him where he’d been and what he’d been up to, he gave me the Scott McClellan treatment: “No comment”.

    As a student of history, I’d be interested in knowing: Is Scott McClellan any kin to Yankee general George McClellan, whose greatest gift to the equine world was the 1849 split-tree military saddle? Avid riders will know what a McClellan split-tree is; you yahoos who ride Western “cowboy” saddles and hang onto the horn won’t have a clue.

  • 23 JamesonLewis3rd // May 29, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    Dontchaknow that I would be compelled to Yahoo! the aforementioned Saddle of Mystery.

    Note the irony:

    …..never served a day in the cavalry and wrote the manuals, designed the saddle which became standard US cavalry issue throughout its history.

    :shock:

  • 24 JamesonLewis3rd // May 29, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    Here is BO, big time.

  • 25 Possumtrot // May 29, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Thanks, JL3. I followed your link, and now know the history of my prized McClellan saddle inside out. I ain’t as smart as I’d like to let on; I could’ve sworn it was ‘49 and not ‘59, but if the web site says it, I’ll accept it as truth.

    My McClellan is an original tree that has been reupholstered several times. The beauty of the thing is that it rests the weight on the horse’s ribs, and not directly on the critter’s spine. I have seen everything from pilfered chickens to frying pans of considerable size hanging off these saddles; you can also hang a brace of dragoon pistols, a saber, and extra food for the hoss off of them, along with a blanket and poncho [raincoat] as well as the ubiquitous carbine.

    In fealty to my Confederate cavalry background, my McClellan has only been re-done in rawhide, with wooden open stirrups. It rides rough, with no protection for the boots, but we sure gave you boys a run for your money back in the day.

  • 26 Darthmeister // May 29, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I knew this country was going to the dogs one day but I expected that to happen when the leftist Donks gain their fascist governmental monopoly …

    Having said that, will this breaking news ultimately degenerate into one of those “man eating dog” double entendre?

    RECESSION ON HOLD: Economy’s growth picks up slightly in first quarter…

    You can’t make this stuff up! This is the same leftist media that virtually ignored the fact the last three economic quarters of Bill Clinton’s second term were down turns … a classic definition of a bona fide recession. And yet the liberal lap dogs in the media have been yapping about a “Bush recession” for the last three years when such is not the case. There was a slow down in the last economic quarter (+ 0.6%), but there hasn’t been one recessionary negative growth quarter during the last seven years!

    Remember how just before the 2000 elections the Donks were whining about Republicans were purportedly “talking down the economy.” Well those bozos have been doing it for the last three years! Freakin’ hypocrites.

  • 27 JamesonLewis3rd // May 29, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    RE: #26~~
    Darthmeister~~

    Wow, talk about having some kind of pathological “glass-half-empty” syndrome [a derivative of another well-known syndrome---the glass is Bush's]!

  • 28 onlineanalyst // May 29, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Scott, this story was a charmer on so many levels, as delightful as the pooch Barney himself. It also heightens through contrast the ludicrousness of the McClellan quick-buck cheap shot, published by a Soros-funded house, no less.

    JL3rd: Your 4:44pm link about OhBummer shines an even brighter light on the unworthiness of that scabrous know-nothing who thinks that he has the capability to lead a nation or serve as a respected CIC. He couldn’t hold his own in a meeting with either Petraeous or Maliki. I doubt if any of the troops serving in Iraq would want to talk with him, much less pose in photo ops. (Remember that photo of Jawn Carry eating alone in the mess hall?)

  • 29 JamesonLewis3rd // May 29, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    RE: #25~~
    Possumtrot~~

    I watched a custom saddle constructed on “How It’s Made” or something once and I noticed a certain ritualistic solemnity in the process that added a lot to my conception of the rider, saddle, horse triad.

    While I have been known to sidle up to the betting window at a horse track or two or three (Santa Anita is one of my favorite places on Earth), my one-on-one experiences within the equestrian world are virtually nil [my foot was stepped on once in my prepubescent days by a horse that probably didn't even notice me until I fell at his hooves, complaining that my new tennis shoe was ruined!].

  • 30 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    upnorthlurkin #20…heh, heh. My lil’ guy likes to lie at my feet here at my desk, too. They have to keep track of their “Mommies.”

    Ms RightWing, #21, that sounds just like an “elitist” cat refusing to respond. ;-)

    Possumtrot, #22…I don’t know if the two McClellans are in any way related, but they seem to share familial traits…inaction when it counts, cowardice, backstabbing opportunism. As far as General McClellan being a Yankee, that was a matter of geography alone, since he was a preening democrat who lacked the courage to “use the Army” under his command. He also ran in the 1864 election on the “Northern democrats want to end the war” platform. Some things never change… :roll:

  • 31 JamesonLewis3rd // May 29, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    This memoir stuff is just chock full of morbid laughs.

  • 32 prettyold // May 29, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    50 Ways To Ruin Our Country

    To: 50 Ways To Leave your Lover

    Verse:
    It’s unacceptable to refer to Obama’s wife,
    Also unacceptable to discuss his Pastor’s life,
    If ya’ use his middle name ,he’ll fill your world with strife,
    Obama’s got 50 ways to Change our Country

    “The answer is we have to Change,” Obama says to me.
    “The Audacity of Hope is what’s comin’ ,don’cha see ?”
    The We we’ve been waiting for are We We,
    There must be 50 ways to Change the Country.”

    Chorus:
    Throw Iraq under the bus,Russ,
    Kick the Army to the curb ,Herb,
    Put a big tax on big Oil, Doyle,
    Just turn it over to WE,

    Let all the Illegals in ,Ben,
    Give’em Government jobs,Rob,
    Raise the prices on food, Jude,
    Then turn it over to WE.

    Verse:
    Obama says he has campaigned in all 57 States,
    He claims his white Uncle went to Auschwitz to liberate,
    He honored the DEAD heroes he SAW in the crowd Memorial Day,
    Obama’s got 50 ways to Ruin our Country.

    Obama gets his money from the dregs of society,
    His wife is ashamed of America,a land in which she’s free,
    His bomber friends are not in jail,they set school policy,
    Obama’s bound to ruin our Country.

    Chorus:
    Kick Marines under the van, Nan,
    Put a ban on the Church,Lurch,
    Give ‘em all Free health care,Harr,
    Just slip it to WE.

    Make their gas tanks suck, Chuck,
    Marry up the Gays, Jay,
    Round up the Jews,Louis,
    And give the keys to We.

    Give the dirty end of the stick,Dick,
    Take their guns with a snarl, Carl,
    Make sure you ban God, Dodd,
    We are the We of WE WE

    Tag:
    And “We” don’t mean you and me-ee-ee,
    Obama is the new god of WEEEE.

  • 33 onlineanalyst // May 29, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    While exiting off the highway this morning, I noticed that the sign for the newly renovated Comfort Inn near the ramp has a logo remarkably similar to OhBummer’s campaign sign logo. Subliminal message of “comfort” being offered by the con artist?

  • 34 da Bunny // May 29, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    It’s time for the Archdiocese of Chicago to send “Father” Michael Pfleger packing. I’m sure Calypso Louie’s “Nation of Islamofascists” would love to have him on board. :evil:

  • 35 JamesonLewis3rd // May 30, 2008 at 6:28 am

    RE: #33~~
    onlineanalyst~~

    Interesting how that caught your eye.

    Many blogs have made note of the BO posters but not because of Comfort Inn; they have been doing so because the posters so closely resemble the commie posters of yore (Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Che-even Saddam imitated the art deco propaganda stylization).

  • 36 onlineanalyst // May 30, 2008 at 6:57 am

    Agreed, JL3rd re #35. In fact, I emailed a parody of one of those Obama art-deco-styled posters created by the commenter techno_barbarian to a number of Scrapplers on my email list. The parody poster makes is abundantly clear OhBummer’s Marxist leanings. The candidate of hope and change is deluding only those who wish to have the wool pulled over their eyes or who have terminal BDS and want change for novelty’s sake.

  • 37 Amused Cynic » Blog Archive » Et tu, Barney? A “black Scottish-American” speaks out on the Bush deception…. // Jun 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    [...] on that later…rebuilding your hacked web site is a lot of work), but that’s why I have Scott Ott linked in my blogroll to keep me up to [...]

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