Gore Plans Spontaneous 2004 Campaign
(2202-11-25) — Former Vice President Al Gore says if he runs for president in 2004, the effort will be unlike any in the annals of modern U.S. politics. Mr. Gore plans a totally spontaneous campaign, far from the pollsters and pundits, near to the hearts of the American people.
“I noticed the popularity of those reality shows,” said Mr. Gore as he impulsively signed another book during his willy-nilly book tour. “One night, while watching Ozzy and Sharon and the kids on MTV, it occured to me that people want reality. They’re tired of the vision thing. They’re bored with speeches. They want to see the candidate just as he is. So that’s when I decided to be spontaneous.”
Mr. Gore’s helter-skelter schedule has him coincidentally bumping into Larry King, Barbara Walters and the entire cast of Saturday Night Live.
In one interview, he described President George Bush’s economic policy of tax cuts as “catastrophic”, his foreign policy “based on an openly proclaimed intention to dominate the world” as “horrible” and his environment policy as “immoral”.
“Woo-hoo! Where did that come from?” said a stunned Mr. Gore after verbally slamming Mr. Bush. “I’m just foot-loose and fancy-free these days. You never know whether I’m going to criticize the President, or employ self-deprecating humor to endear myself to people who love the underdog.”
