(2008-01-29) — Minutes after President George Bush signed an executive order Tuesday forbidding federal agencies from funding “earmark” projects which lawmakers slip into bills after voting, the White House announced that when the president signed the order, he had unknowingly mandated $750 million in funding for a new monument on the National Mall.
“It turns out,” said press secretary Dana Perino, “that the back of the Executive Order included a paragraph appropriating money for construction of a massive granite landmark in the shape of a human ear, as a tribute to the way members of Congress listen to their constituents.”
26 responses so far ↓
1 MajorDomo // Jan 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I had this nightmare last night; woke up in a cold sweat. I dreamed it was November and I was at my polling place and the only names on the ballot were Clinton and McCain. Not even a write-in blank!
2 upnorthlurkin // Jan 29, 2008 at 1:09 pm
…And as a congressional response to the big ear, there will be a gigantic finger indicating “we hear you and here’s what we think of you…..
3 woodnwheel // Jan 29, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I can’t find it online (Gary Larson is averse to having his work published online), but the phrase “a massive granite landmark in the shape of a human ear” reminds me of a “Far Side” cartoon I once saw. I know a picture is worth a thousand words, but in the absence of the cartoon, let me try to describe it: As I recall, the setting was “The Vincent Van Gogh School for the Gifted,” and the humor in the cartoon was a young boy pushing on a door that said “pull.” However, off to the side is — you guessed it — a large statue in the shape of a human ear. While I can’t say with any degree of certainty that Larson’s cartoon in any way inspired this item (and I am inclined to doubt it did), the mental image conveyed by having seen the cartoon makes this item just that little bit funnier to me.
(If the description of the cartoon doesn’t ring any bells for you, a trip to your local bookstore is in order post haste.)
4 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jan 29, 2008 at 2:15 pm
woodenwheel; As an avid fan of the now retired cartoonist (who got his start in Minnesota), I do remember the ‘toon. Between him and Gaham Wilson, they kept me rubbing on my aching funny bone.
Reckon that thar ear is better than the Fickled Finger of Fate
Alvin President: now that is squirrelly
5 debass // Jan 29, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Now I know what they mean when they say “you have the Congressman’s ear”.
How about two ears with a large empty hole passing between them.
We had a record snowfall here on Sunday. It hasn’t snowed on that day since 1886.
6 EXT // Jan 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm
#5
See!
It’s Global Warming!
Whatever God the unter-priests of the algore papacy pray to….she isn’t listening!
7 everthink // Jan 29, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Now you can see, if MajorDomo lived Florida he wouldn’t have that problem.
There, you just cast your ballot, and let Diebold pick your candidate.
Just, “Outsource It”, yeah, that’s the ticket!
ET
8 Beerme // Jan 29, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I wonder can we outsource a troll to…say, Democrat Underground or DailyKOS or sumpin’…
9 everthink // Jan 29, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Please, “don’t harsh my mellow”, while I’m rootin’ for Rudy.
ET
10 camojack // Jan 29, 2008 at 7:42 pm
“…the Executive Order included a paragraph appropriating money for construction of a massive granite landmark in the shape of a human ear”
An earmark for an ear? I hear ya…
11 mindknumbed kid // Jan 29, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I think I should oughta run for office in yon’ Washington D.C., where I could show up occasionally to vote for things I ain’t read and unwittingly fund a whole litter of unwanted hogs.
At least it keeps the unmotivated amongst us able to fetch home the bacon.
12 PanamaRed // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Where did my comment on Bush’s speech go?
13 mindknumbed kid // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:03 pm
The Far Side by Gary Larson, now that is a great bunch of memories…
14 mindknumbed kid // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Panama Red - I didn’t touch it!
15 PanamaRed // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Nevermind, I have found the answer….it went “poof”. Where’s the manual for posting on this site? You go away for a year or so and security is better than the CIA, but like everyone else, I found the key! Oh yeah, what Scott said 100%.Parody is getting too close to reality for me.
16 mindknumbed kid // Jan 29, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I had a long meticulously thought out painstakingly typed out post up and go “poof” about three years ago. I got up out of my comfy and innocent computer chair, piced it up and spiked it on the hardwood floor of my den, breaking one wheel off.
Those were the days….maybe I should try some anger management?
17 conserve-a-tips // Jan 29, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Well, it seems that we are having a Bob Dole moment repeat. Make way for Hillary and grab onto your wallets.
wv:ear Interlude: to listen between
18 everthink // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Well, he’s no George W. Bush, that’s for sure, but somehow his victory speech did put me in mind of Dumbyah’s little talk last night.
ET
19 da Bunny // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:20 pm
c-a-t, I understand the sentiment in calling this a “Bob Dole” moment, and I totally agree. However, Bob Dole was/is at least a conservative Republican, unlike Ol’ Man Johnny “RINO” McPain. I voted for Dole…I will not vote for Old Man McShamnesty.
Every time I see McShame’s face I remember that photo of him, along with Sen. Lindsey Grahamnesty [ RINO-SC] yucking it up with that insufferable drunken leftist Ted Kennedy during “The Gang of 14’s” attempt to cram the “amnesty for illegals” bill down our throats. Ain’t NO way I’m casting a ballot for that “old boy.”
20 conserve-a-tips // Jan 29, 2008 at 10:56 pm
da Bunny: Me neither. I’ll just let the Democrats take the blame for messing up the country. I have a feeling the GOP is in for a rude awakening.
wv: 1000 Casper: a boatload of ghosts
21 Ms RightWing, Ink // Jan 29, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Another reason the liberals don’t have a clue:
Ethanol boom could deplete groundwater. With Minnesota’s production expected to more than double, concerns are growing
http://www.in-forum.com/articles/index.cfm?id=190105§ion=farm
cliches work: just look at todays election
22 camojack // Jan 30, 2008 at 3:56 am
conserve-a-tips;
I understand how you feel, honestly I do, but here’s something to consider:
Kamikaze Republicanism
23 conserve-a-tips // Jan 30, 2008 at 7:37 am
Camojack: re #22 - I read your link and nope, I’m not buying it. I can’t, in good conscience, put my mark on a paper beside the name of a man who contemplated leaving conservatives to the other side, who contemplated making Lieberman his running mate and most of all, who wants to open our borders on both sides and just make us one big happy North American continent. Instead of “Doctors without Borders” it’ll be “Citizens without Borders”. The man is a flippin’ globalist just like Bush, with liberal tendancies.
Nope, not gonna do it - I don’t believe in enabling and if this country is going to go to you-know-where-in-a-handbasket, we might as well go down by the party who is proud to be liberal rather than sucker-punched by a president who pretends to be conservative. If this is what this country has come to, then we deserve a Hillary. Sometimes you have to hit bottom in order to look up.
Voting for McCain would be like choosing a preacher, who’s out drinking and chasing women, as the leadership for Christ in your church. That kind of leadership only hurts the cause for Christ and makes the rest of the membership look like hypocrites.
wv: hang year election year 2008 (how utterly appropriate!)
24 da Bunny // Jan 30, 2008 at 10:45 am
camo and c-a-t, not to mention that the article is referring to the primaries. I will not sit out the primaries…I intend to cast my vote on Feb. 5th for the candidate I believe can win against Billary or Osama…and that isn’t Old Man McShame. If he ends up being the nominee, there’s no way he’d win in November. First of all, the LSM that loves Ol’ Johnny so much now, will rip him to shreds in the general election, and secondly, put that old liberalized fossil up next to younger candidates and he’s a sure loss.
25 everthink // Jan 30, 2008 at 10:51 am
“I’ll just let the Democrats take the blame for messing up the country.”
Oh’ my goodness! Don’t you even own a coffee pot?
ET
26 MajorDomo // Jan 30, 2008 at 10:55 pm
ET, I don’t think Diebold was responsible for people not knowing how to punch a card.
Perhaps “casting” a ballot would, for Floridians, be easier to do than knocking out a chad. Dontcha think?
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