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Romney: I Won't Ask God to Smite Atheists

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 24 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2007-12-06) — Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, in perhaps the biggest speech of his presidential candidacy said today that despite his faith in God he will take a pledge to refrain from asking the Almighty to smite atheist Americans during his White House years.

“I will be the president of all the people,” said Mr. Romney, “not just of the ones who are going to heaven. Therefore, I will not call down fire upon my unbelieving adversaries who are American citizens, nor will I take up the sword to slay them. Read my lips: no new plagues.”

Mr. Romney also extended an olive branch to evangelical Christians suspicious of his belief in Mormon doctrine, promising to “continue speaking in vague, inoffensive language about Jesus and the Bible if you’ll agree to do the same.”

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Tags: Politics · Theology

24 responses so far ↓

  • 1 seneuba // Dec 6, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    Good afternoon!

    May God bless all people!

  • 2 seneuba // Dec 6, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    Amen, Scott!

  • 3 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 6, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    Will Americans still be allowed to drink coffee?

  • 4 gafisher // Dec 6, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    Tormenting and harrowing will be OK, but Mitt won’t drop the S-bomb.

    “… speaking in vague, inoffensive language about Jesus and the Bible …”

    Oh! Oh! I heard that sermon just last week on the local insipid-irrational radio station. I think it was right between “The Christian Rock Hour” and “Better Every Day.”

  • 5 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:26 pm

    I may consider voting for Mitt if he promises a four (or 8) year moratorium on white, young boys with ties who ride bicycles who knock on doors in order to feed lies to the religiously uneducated

  • 6 Hawkeye // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    Read my lips: no new plagues

    Too funny! :lol:

  • 7 Hawkeye // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    Mitt Romney ate my post!

  • 8 Hawkeye // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Oh, there it is… (sorry).

  • 9 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    pusher tusher

  • 10 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    smiley face = 8

  • 11 danimal // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    Now we should expect a similar speech from a Democrat candidate to explain their religion (Liberalism) in the context of tolerance and freedom.

  • 12 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 6, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    Will Washington DC be moved to Salt Lake City?

    Will Mitt be sworn in on the Book of Mormon?

    Will the lost tablets finally be found with the Uman and the Thurmin or Thelma or what ever those Dick Tracy decoding rings were called

    Inquiring minds want to know

  • 13 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 6, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    shmush

  • 14 boberinyetagain // Dec 6, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    Works for me, he’s got my vote! Or maybe not…

    Funny Scott!!

  • 15 boberinyetagain // Dec 6, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    Never mind Scott, sometimes they show up, sometimes not but like I said in the e-mail…..

  • 16 boberinyetagain // Dec 6, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    Ok, I post and get an error mesage every time.
    The message says to e-mail Scott so I did that.
    The e-mail was rejected.
    I’m starting to see a pattern here…
    :(

  • 17 Hawkeye // Dec 6, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    Ms. RW #12,
    Funny! It’s “Urim and Thummim” as per Exodus 28:30, Leviticas 8:8, and (5) other references… not to be confused with “Uma Thurman” the actress.

    (But something tells me you knew that.) :wink:

  • 18 Fred Sinclair // Dec 6, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    Mitt Romney on his worst day is vastly superior to Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton on her best day, (If she ever had one).

    To not vote as a “protest” against a Republican you don’t care that much about is in part and parcel, a vote for the democrat opposition.

  • 19 Maggie // Dec 6, 2007 at 8:37 pm

    Thanks Scott for your success in troubleshooting this site.

  • 20 camojack // Dec 6, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    Romney: I Won’t Ask God to Smite Atheists

    I daresay it wouldn’t matter if he did or not.

  • 21 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 7, 2007 at 12:33 am

    re:17

    I did

  • 22 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 7, 2007 at 12:34 am

    pulleier than ever, or is that pushier. I don’t know

  • 23 mig // Dec 7, 2007 at 6:29 am

    Mitt is a statesman, and I kinda like him. But its’ to early for me to think straight. It’s coffee time.
    Anyone have a doughnut! Man.

  • 24 Romney, religion, and the pending irrelevance of National Review — Shining City // Jun 2, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    [...] Evening Update Scrappleface has all the answers about Mitt. [...]

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