(2007-11-26) — President George Bush today demonstrated that he can be gracious to his defeated opponents by welcoming former presidential rival Al Gore to the White House with a low-carbon ceremony to celebrate Mr. Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize for publicizing man-made global warming.
The day’s events began when the White House sent an ox cart to pick up Mr. Gore at his hotel, where he had arrived by S.U.V. motorcade last night following a charter jet flight to Washington D.C.
All lights had been extinguished at the White House, and the thermostats set to zero, in preparation for the former vice president’s arrival. The fireplaces were cool and devoid of logs. A Bush aide gave Mr. Gore a pair of official White House ear muffs, and guided him to the Oval Office, through the darkened hallways, with the help of a hand-cranked flashlight.
The president invited Mr. Gore to sit in his own chair, where Mr. Bush said, “You would have sat as you signed the Kyoto protocols.”
The two men sipped cold tea and nibbled organically-grown raw carrots before the official ceremony recognizing Mr. Gore’s accomplishment.
Since cameras, lights and recording equipment use electricity, the production of which is rapidly destroying the planet, TV and radio reporters were forced to abandon their gear before entering the White House.
Here is brief excerpt of Mr. Bush’s remarks, recorded by a stenographer, as he recognized the celebrated author and documentary producer, Al Gore.
THE PRESIDENT: It’s a great privilege to welcome Al and Tipper Gore to the Oval Office. Their visit here today was made possible in part by a grant from the Make-A-Wish foundation, and I’m honored to help this dream come true, if only for a few moments.
I always knew that Al would make something of himself, and he has done just that. On the world stage, he has taken gossamer threads of science and twisted them into a bewitching yarn that rivals anything that Walt Disney ever imagined. In the process, he has garnered an Oscar and a Nobel prize — the highest honors bestowed by the entertainment industry. Yes, Al Gore has really made something of himself. I would tell you what that something is, but the dignity of the office constrains me.
Finally, let me say that Al Gore’s work has inspired me so much, that while we were visiting here this morning, I had some people disassemble and recycle his motorcade and the jet he used to get here. The scrap metal will be stamped into commemorative Nobel prize coins bearing Al’s silhouette, which we’ll use to purchase carbon offsets from Al’s own company.
38 responses so far ↓
1 gafisher // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:05 am
Tipper’s carbon footprint is measured in carats.
2 Maggie // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:16 am
The Marine Band will play “I beg your pardon,I never promised you a rose garden” as the President meets and greets the former VP.
3 Maggie // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:23 am
Scott,
Each time I post a comment, a 403 error page pops up and yet my comment is posted.Then,I must reconnect with SF .
Any ideas?
[Editor's Note: Our vast IT staff just tested the comment system, and all seems right with the world. We regret the inconvenience you suffer from problems we're not smart enough to understand.]
4 Maggie // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:31 am
Scott,
Thanks for the quick responce. It once again proves you are not only brilliant,but also a generous huamitarian.
[Editor's Note: We're grateful for the accolades, and we invite others to join our huamitarian efforts to make life better for the hua -- a genus of freshwater snail native to central and southern China that ingests eggs of the liver fluke Opisthorchis sinensis, which then hatch in its body.]
5 Maggie // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:33 am
ps.you may also rearrange the letters to correctly spell humanitarian.
6 gafisher // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:39 am
It’s a shame Light Bulb Johnson and Cardigan Carter couldn’t attend …
7 Libby Gone // Nov 26, 2007 at 10:45 am
Someone needs to shame EyeGore by pointing out how much energy his “Internet Invention” consumes.
8 Fred Sinclair // Nov 26, 2007 at 12:05 pm
We need a “20-20″ or “60 Minutes”exposure of Algore’s Scam. Until “outed” on this hoax he stands ready to become the world’s first Trillionaire - (Spellcheck informs me that Trillionaire isn’t even a viable word). - but for the benefit of anyone from Rio Linda - trillion |ˈtrilyÉ™n|
cardinal number ( pl. -lions or (with numeral) same)
a million million million (1,000,000,000,000,000,000 or 10 to the 18th power).
Or, better yet - imagine a standard 5″ briefcase will hold one million dollars - now imagine a semi truck loaded with one thousand filled briefcases = one billion dollars, now stretch your imagination further and picture a huge staging area with 1,000 semis equally loaded = one trillion dollars.
and that’s what Al Gore aka Algore will be worth!
Someone has to stop this farce aka scam or hoax.
I’m too old & crippled or I’d do it myself.
Heirborn Ranger
9 gafisher // Nov 26, 2007 at 12:40 pm
“… now imagine a semi truck loaded with one thousand filled briefcases …”
Now imagine Howie Mandel standing before a thousand such semi trucks, each driven by a Paris Hilton clone. Yes, my friends, it could be worse.
10 gafisher // Nov 26, 2007 at 12:46 pm
“The two men sipped cold tea …”
I wouldn’t have lunch with Gasbag Gore for all the tea in … hey, wait a minute — I hope that was locally grown tea!
11 Maggie // Nov 26, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Scott re#4
…..and when these “hua”gather together,they are called a “bunch of huey”.
12 Fred Sinclair // Nov 26, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Libby Gone - #7 The last time Algore was shamed was when he had to have a political analyst explain to him (in words he could understand) that there really is a difference between “The Popular Vote” and “The Electorial Vote”. (To this day, I believe he still thinks the election was “stolen” away from him.)
In turn, I don’t believe Algore has any shame left. Being devoid of shame, what you suggest would be like trying to put the toothpaste back into the tube; er, I don’t think it’s a viable exercise - but, by all means, if you want to try - give it a go!
Heirborn Ranger
13 Ms RightWing, Ink // Nov 26, 2007 at 2:39 pm
What about Farm Aid 2007. Let us not forget those music makers who have saved countless millions of family farms.
Well, they have. Haven’t they?
Oh, I’m sorry, I thought they did
14 Hotel Mount Pleasant » Bush Welcomes Gore with Low-Carbon Ceremony // Nov 26, 2007 at 2:57 pm
[...] Bush welcomes Gore with low-carbon ceremony. The day’s events began when the White House sent an ox cart to pick up Mr. Gore Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL. [...]
15 camojack // Nov 26, 2007 at 3:47 pm
“Yes, Al Gore has really made something of himself. I would tell you what that something is, but the dignity of the office constrains me…”
Love it!!!
16 everthink // Nov 26, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Wouldn’t it be nice if GHWB got the boys together one more time to steal something else for his simple minded little tyrant?
I bet they could even find away to give Gore’s NPP to “The Decider Guy”, too!
ET
17 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 6:41 pm
And remember, Al’s momma always told him “stupid is as stupid does”.
I just recieved confirmation that the election that George stole was being kept at the National Archives, where Sandy Burglar recently visited at the request of his longtime friend sHrillary Rhodent Clinton. Officials at the Archive are refusing to xomment on wherter or not the syolen election remains safe and secure, but many speculate the stolen election is now in the possession of the Clinton campaign.
Upon hearing the news, Al Gore was reported to have said, “Now, why didn’t I think of that?”
18 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 6:45 pm
one more push for old time’s sake.
19 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Maybe the third time will be the charmed one ?
20 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Did y’all see where in Switzerland there are eco-terrorists that are sabotaging SUV’s ?
That goes to show that once people reject God, they cannot be trusted to maintain basic civility and respect for anyone or anything.
21 Darthmeister // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Scott, don’t forget the snail darter. They may be higher up on the food chain but they need love, too.
Hua? Heh!
22 Darthmeister // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Hua … heh … that’s the sound of the men workin’ down the chain … gaaaaaang … that’s the sound of the men workin’ on the chain … gang.
23 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:11 pm
That’s right folks, I am officially on the record as saying Global Warming is a religion, and it denies the true God.I say you cannot believe in God and manmade Global Warming.
24 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Wow !! I think I set a record for typo’s up on #17, there must be a problem with my keyboard today, I am not to blame .
25 Yes, But Did They Drink Organic Rose-Petal Tea? : The Sundries Shack // Nov 26, 2007 at 7:26 pm
[...] Scott Ott of Scrappleface has an idea what that meeting might have entailed, though, as well as an alternate report on the ceremony that would have been infinitely more satisfying than the one that took place today. [...]
26 egospeak // Nov 26, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Scott, amazing story. There are so many great lines that to list them all would result in reprinting the entire story. Real good stuff.
Regards,
27 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 8:25 pm
True, there were 52 great lines in this piece, not one bad one. VERY good stuff indeed!
28 Darthmeister // Nov 26, 2007 at 8:30 pm
From the AmericanThinker: The Nazis Were Leftists … or socialist humanists if you prefer.
Little doubt that the Nazis were pagan seculars. They certainly seemed to view themselves as the progressives of their day.
29 mindknumbed kid // Nov 26, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Leftist have a track record of supporting dictators. Rightwingers support freedom and equality. It is not hidden.
30 egospeak // Nov 26, 2007 at 9:52 pm
ET re: 33 UN Climate Report thread,
While it can’t be argued that the Dem’s reputation as “the party of the little guy” arose during the Great Depression, that still doesn’t necessarily make it true. S.S. (however well intentioned) is still little more than a ponzi scheme. BTW, if the original retirement age had been adjusted for increasing longevity (kind of like cost of living increases for pay) people wouldn’t be eligible to receive benefits until almost age 80, rather than the current 62. (see http://www.ssa.gov/r&m2.htm)
The WPA and CCC may have provided opportunities for the unemployed, but they were basically socialist make work programs. This is not to deny that they may have built and done some important things but one thing they certainly did not do was “prime” the economic pump. If that were true, we could guarantee economic prosperity simply by greatly increasing the size of the Army Corp of Engineers and keeping them really really busy. America’s economic recovery was primarily because of WWII.
You write about the “efficiency movement” as if it were Hoover’s idea and baby. According to wikipedia it “was a major dimension of the Progressive Era in the United States. It flourished [from] 1890-1932. Adherents argued that all aspects of the economy, society and government were riddled with waste and inefficiency. Everything would be better if experts identified the problems and fixed them.”
While Hoover (a Republican) was certainly the most prominent political adherent, the idea of government (which is inherently inefficient) promoting efficiency through government action is at best, oxymoronic and at worst, the hallmark of Democratic liberalism. (Don’t you find it ironic that latter day liberal/socialists want to be called progressives?) If it was a contributing factor to the Great Depression and its exacerbation then logically, it was the beliefs of your party that led to it.
It is rather difficult to fathom how the idea of government promoting efficiency (whether it helped to cause the Great Depression or not) could lead to the Republican’s Fat Cat and lassez-faire reputation.
Regards from your pal,
p.s. more to come.
31 JamesonLewis3rd // Nov 27, 2007 at 6:31 am
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.~~Titus 3:3
32 debass // Nov 27, 2007 at 8:05 am
I watched the ceremony on my wood burning television.
Darth-
I read that also. I think it was Richard Miniter who said “The Nazis are only right wing if you’re a communist.”
33 Darthmeister // Nov 27, 2007 at 9:37 am
debass,
Anyone right of Stalin is a radical right-winger according to American liberals. Take away all the conservative and traditional institutions of government bequeath us by our Christian founders and look at only what liberals today propose, there is little question from a social and moral perspective (homosexuality, radical feminism, gay marriage, etc) American liberals are far to the left of Stalin. And from a political perspective of nanny statism the American liberal is probably just a hair right of Stalin. The only thing which separates the American left from both Stalin and Hitler is they don’t have unfettered control of law enforcement, the judiciary and the military. If that day does come and the salt-of-the-earth Americans get fed up with the incompetence of the left’s socialist tinkerings, there will indeed be a bloodbath this world has never seen unless the liberals retire gracefully onto the ashheap of history. The freedom which burns in the hearts of freemen will not long tolerate such socialist humanist indignities.
The only way liberals can hope to build their utopia is on the accumulated capital of free market capitalism. When the wealth of that plays out over a generation or two (as it is presently doing in socialist Europe), then we will certainly be living in a hell-on-earth. Socialism/communism has never worked for more than six to eight decades anywhere its been tried. the DemDonks are only kidding themselves if they think they can build a better socialist mousetrap.
34 MajorDomo // Nov 27, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Fred #8: “Trillionaire” came into being solely because of the Bush economy, roaring after the Bush Tax Cuts. Note that everyone has equal opportunity to become a trillionaire as long as the socialists don’t get control. If we listened to the Democrats, “thousandaire” would the operative word.
35 everthink // Nov 27, 2007 at 1:57 pm
The blind squirrel has said: “Anyone right of Stalin is a radical right-winger according to American liberals.”
This statement is fundamentally untrue of Democrats; but, isn’t that what you here, who call yourselves “Conservative”, do to everyone who disagrees with you?
More than that, you would deny them the rights of American Citizenship and the freedom you say you wish to conserve?
Worse still, you regularly declare unclean those for whom Jesus Christ offered up his life.
Hypocrites!
ET
36 mindknumbed kid // Nov 27, 2007 at 8:55 pm
What then, pray tell does the modern day democrat stand for and how does that line up with the teachings of Jesus Christ ?
37 Hawkeye // Nov 28, 2007 at 8:39 am
Wow! Twist the knife Scott. What a great piece. Sorry to get here late, but couldn’t let it pass without giving you the “accolades” for lots of great lines…
where he had arrived by S.U.V. motorcade last night following a charter jet flight…
a grant from the Make-A-Wish foundation…
he has taken gossamer threads of science and twisted them into a bewitching yarn…
an Oscar and a Nobel prize — the highest honors bestowed by the entertainment industry….
I would tell you what that something is, but the dignity of the office constrains me…
commemorative Nobel prize coins bearing Al’s silhouette, which we’ll use to purchase carbon offsets from Al’s own company…
You really outdid yourself this time. What a great mind.
38 ThemePassion - Best stuff about design! » Bush Welcomes Gore with Low-Carbon Ceremony // Nov 28, 2007 at 11:41 am
[...] Jimmy Moore wrote an interesting post today!.Here’s a quick excerpt(2007-11-26) — President George Bush today demonstrated that he can be gracious to his defeated opponents by welcoming former presidential rival Al Gore to the White House with a low-carbon ceremony to celebrate Mr. … [...]
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