(2007-10-04) — As the mainstream media continue to pan Fred Thompson’s performances on the presidential campaign trail, an unnamed spokesman for the Law & Order TV star said the candidate may decide to hire “a political stunt double.”
“Fred learned in Hollywood that you do what you do best, and leave the rest to people who get paid for wacky shenanigans,” the source said. “If the script calls for doing something ridiculous or dangerous, you bring in the stunt double to wow the audience.”
The New York Times noted this week that Mr. Thompson appears subdued during his stump speeches as he talks about national security, economic freedom, federalism, constitutional rights and other topics one would expect to provide more thrilling entertainment.
If the campaign moves ahead with the hiring of a political stunt double, the source said, “On video Fred will appear to vigorously wave his arms and gesticulate wildly while speaking. Viewers will enjoy scenes of the candidate wading into crowds of strangers, hugging women, feeling their pain, kissing babies, eating cheesesteaks, flipping pancakes and generally doing the things Americans demand from a future commander in chief.”
28 responses so far ↓
1 onlineanalyst // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:01 am
I don’t know about Fred, but Madame Hillary has more stunt doubles than did Saddam in his heyday. She’s everywhere, she’s everywhere! And her message of the State Knows Best is not being challenged by any one of the contenders.
BTW As witnessed by the late-night troll droppings here and at every other conservative site, it’s mid-terms time on campuses. The youngsters, worn out from their PC indoctrination and a night’s self-indulgence, are probably still sleeping of the effects. Shhhh!
2 JamesonLewis3rd // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:24 am
God Bless America
3 DasPoetica // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:30 am
Mr. Thompson acts the way I would prefer my commander-in-chief to act, with quite dignity and grace. I certianly hope he can avoid the histrionics of the other candidates. - A Knee Jerk Reactionary in Arlington, VA
4 Hawkeye // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:42 am
Maybe Fred can have his stunt double drive a high speed car through a ring of fire while jumping over a dozen buses or something. That should get a positive reaction from the NYT… as if anybody cares about that fish wrap.
5 Darthmeister // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:43 am
A new script writer ought to help. And hire the guy who produced and directed Red Dawn since we’re actually dealing with a bunch of closet commies on the other side of the aisle disguised as Democrats.
6 egospeak // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:47 am
Maybe I am just totally obtuse, but does anybody know what the heck AnalChord, #121, previous thread was talking about?????
Dittos to your comment #3 DasPoetica. Heaven forbid we should have a commander in chief with dignity and grace. What would the MSM have to whine about? Oh wait, that’s what they are whining about now. They must really be afraid he has a chance to win.
Regards,
7 DasPoetica // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:48 am
Hawkeye, Have you ridden on the DC Metro lately? There are quite a few federal workers who’s breakfast fare is the NYT and coffee.
AK-JRinArlington,VA
8 DasPoetica // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:49 am
egospeak,
I believe the commentor likes to read his own writings.
9 DasPoetica // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:50 am
egospeak,
I believe the commentor likes to read his own writings, otherwise known as secondary narcissism.
10 gafisher // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:54 am
Maybe Fred can hire the guy who goes to church in his place.
11 Hawkeye // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:58 am
DasPoetica #7,
No, I’ve never ridden on the DC Metro. Perhaps I should count my blessings, eh?
12 conserve-a-tips // Oct 4, 2007 at 8:14 am
good morning guys! Gorgeous Fall morning and the sun is just now peeking out over the trees so that it feels all close and comfy. I just love this time of year.
I’m thinking that the guy from beyond, dubbing himself as a butt rope (whatever that is) was high on something. That post sounded like something from the 60’s.
13 conserve-a-tips // Oct 4, 2007 at 8:16 am
Oh, and regarding Fred…I don’t want flamboyant. I want down-to-earth sensible. That seems to be out of style these days and is why we end up with the likes of Bill and Hillary. Sigh.
14 gafisher // Oct 4, 2007 at 8:24 am
“… the things Americans demand from a future commander in chief.”
That is so sad, and so true. I wonder if the candidate will have to play the saxophone.
15 camojack // Oct 4, 2007 at 9:17 am
“Viewers will enjoy scenes of the candidate wading into crowds of strangers, hugging women, feeling their pain, kissing babies, eating cheesesteaks, flipping pancakes and generally doing the things Americans demand from a future commander in chief.”
Mmmm…cheesesteaks! I’m going to have one tonight…
16 Fred Sinclair // Oct 4, 2007 at 9:44 am
Since Mike and Duncan are posibly too conservative to win the election - in their absence, America could quite well with a President named Fred. BTW - Fred means Peace. Fred’s always want peace and are ready, willing and comitted to fight like He-double toothpicks to get and maintain it.
Heirborn Ranger
17 Winghunter // Oct 4, 2007 at 9:53 am
That’s FUNNY!!
In order to provide all the mental midgets who think a POTUS is supposed to entertain them, he offers to hire someone to do it…the man has a fantastic sense of humor.
18 Darthmeister // Oct 4, 2007 at 10:16 am
Well, one can understand the NYT wanting Fred Thompson to display a little more giddyup since the Democrat hopefuls have orgasms talking about socialized medicine and bigger government which will reach deeper into all our back pockets, making nice with Islamofascists so they won’t blow up any more Americans, and repairing our relations with radical Muslim governments, Commies and Euroweenies who have yet to display a capability of defending themselves against totalitarian wolves the last 100 years.
19 Ms RightWing, Ink // Oct 4, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Once again during our time of war against terrorism the The New York Crimes releases another memo that will only inflame the passion of our mid-east enemies, putting both our soldiers and America, in general, in a very precarious position.
I am beginning to wonder just whose side the paper is on. Oh not really, I already knew that answer. But I am rather angry and I am glad Gonzales ate dirt and left town.
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/14268505/detail.html
20 The Great Santini // Oct 4, 2007 at 2:18 pm
“Mediocre Fred”, by the Smothers Brothers, would be the perfect musical accompaniment to this thread: “…and on a hot summer day, why, he drank a little beer…Exciting Mediocre Fred! Mediocre…dull Fred”
21 woodnwheel // Oct 4, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Winghunter:
Re. #17, this wouldn’t be the first time, but it appears you missed the point of this website. It’s called SATIRE — i.e., ScrappleFace is kind of like “The Onion” for conservatives.
Scott:
As a “Friend of Fred,” I appreciate your use of the word “subdued” rather than the more popular “dull” or “boring” to describe the next President.
22 woodnwheel // Oct 4, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Ms RightWing: “The New York Crimes” is very apt
23 Tinman // Oct 4, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Darthmeister:
“closet commies disguised as Democrats”.
You insinuate that there is a difference by using the word disguised.
24 conserve-a-tips // Oct 4, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Winghunter: In the words of Foghorn Leghorn, “That’s a joke, son.”
25 git-r-done // Oct 4, 2007 at 6:07 pm
I don’t know who came up with this absurd story, but it had to come from a liberal.
26 prettyold // Oct 4, 2007 at 7:35 pm
From the story about torture,
“The tactics included head slapping, simulated drownings and freezing temperatures, the newspaper reported”
Where have they been ? My Mother used all those tactics on us kids . The simulated drownings ,she called, ‘Washing our hair’ and she made us walk to school ,no matter how cold it was. And doesn’t every mother use head slappings? Ya have to get the kids attention.
27 conserve-a-tips // Oct 4, 2007 at 8:55 pm
You all have to read this at the National Review Online. I chuckled myself silly.
28 Connecting News, Commentaries and Blogs at NineReports.com - // Oct 8, 2007 at 12:59 pm
[…] gears up for first debate …Blogged about at Dull Fred Thompson May Hire Political Stunt Double - scrappleface, In an unusual political season that seems to offer up a presidential debate every week or so, the […]
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