(2007-10-01) — As an ideologically-split U.S. Supreme Court reconvened on the first Monday in October, a spokesman for the National Archives reported that the U.S. Constitution has fled to an unnamed embassy to seek asylum, citing a long history of political persecution.
“This is always the most terrifying day of the year for the Constitution,” said an unnamed archivist. “I guess after years of threats, violence, tortured interpretations, painful injections and the like, the founding document has finally had enough.”
An embassy source confirmed that the Constitution had “sought refuge from persecution by government officials in the U.S. ,” but added, “unfortunately there is currently no country of refuge where it would be safer.”
16 responses so far ↓
1 Roguet55 // Oct 1, 2007 at 9:25 am
WOW! Am I first?
Well, it couldn’t be truer Scott!
What will fall this term?
2 Ms RightWing, Ink // Oct 1, 2007 at 9:39 am
I would rather hear the Supremes sing than hear them recite with such dignity, while screwing up the constitution
3 tomg // Oct 1, 2007 at 9:57 am
Guess they didn’t have “Track Changes” and “Undo” back then.
Can we add a Reset this session?
4 JamesonLewis3rd // Oct 1, 2007 at 10:47 am
God Bless America
5 camojack // Oct 1, 2007 at 10:58 am
New fiscal year, eh?
6 Maggie // Oct 1, 2007 at 11:07 am
Ms Righty….My favorite supremes song is “Stop in the name ofLove”.
7 woodnwheel // Oct 1, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Are you sure it wasn’t Congress that the Constitution was seeking asylum from?
8 onlineanalyst // Oct 1, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Did that spokesman from the National Archives indicate whether SandyBurglar had made off with the Contitution when he was busily stuffing his pants and socks? (After all, Sandy was only trying to “amend” the facts of the Clinton record.)
9 Hawkeye // Oct 1, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I just heard the Constitution sprinting past my office yelling, “Run away! Run away!”
10 Hawkeye // Oct 1, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Scene 2
Scene opens in front of the Supreme Court building. Man pushes cart loaded with old documents past building…
CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
CUSTOMER:
Here’s one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
CONSTITUTION:
I’m not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here’s your ninepence.
CONSTITUTION:
I’m not dead!
CART MASTER:
‘Ere. He says he’s not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
CONSTITUTION:
I’m not!
CART MASTER:
He isn’t?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He’s very ill.
CONSTITUTION:
I’m getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a moment…
11 Hawkeye // Oct 1, 2007 at 1:10 pm
ELEVENTEENTH?
12 Pros and Cons » Good to See the Supremacy Clause Put to Good Use // Oct 1, 2007 at 2:33 pm
[…] I am also pleased because I used the Supremacy clause to good effect to defend Veteran’s Administration credentialling procedures against a state regulator once. It was fun winning on a Constitutional Law issue. Usually, I see the Constitution losing on such issues. […]
13 woodnwheel // Oct 1, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Hawkeye re. #10: [in the voice of the guys from the Guinness ads] Brilliant!
14 camojack // Oct 2, 2007 at 1:16 am
Hawkeye // Oct 1, 2007 at 1:10 pm
ELEVENTEENTH?
Ummm…could be!
15 Hawkeye // Oct 2, 2007 at 8:19 am
woodnwheel,
Thanks. I’m glad somebody caught it… I posted kinda late.
16 tomg // Oct 2, 2007 at 11:36 am
Hawkeye:
I just wish someone would toss a parrot on the cart someday. I’ve seen Spamalot twice now, NY & Houston, and no parrot yet. I can still hope.
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