(2007-09-07) — Just hours after the release of al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden’s latest video message inviting all Americans to convert to Islam, U.S. President George said he would “seriously consider the offer, because it sure would simplify the war in Iraq.”
“If I convert to Islam and order all of our troops to do the same,” said Mr. Bush, “we can stay in Iraq indefinitely, drop the restrictive rules of engagement, save a lot of money by using cheap, unguided bombs, clear neighborhoods flat out, blow up mosques with impunity and still go to heaven — not to mention that I’d get more favorable coverage from the U.S. news media.”
The president added that he might convert to Islam just to “find out what it’s like to be a man who wears a dress and a bonnet and dyes his hair like a girl.”
30 responses so far ↓
1 woodnwheel // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:04 pm
God bless America!
P.S.:
The president added that he might convert to Islam just to “find out what it’s like to be a man who wears a dress and a bonnet and dyes his hair like a girl.”
LOL!
2 nylecoj // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:25 pm
“..not to mention that I’d get more favorable coverage from the U.S. news media.”
Straying from satire once again I see.
Very funny post.
3 Tinman // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:26 pm
“I’d get more favorable coverage from the U.S. news media”
Isn’t that the truth.
4 camojack // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:31 pm
I’m sure he’d love to meet Osama bin Laden…and send him to meet his Maker.
5 Ms RightWing, Ink // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:40 pm
sounds like a deal to me
6 Shelly // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:43 pm
This will never work. Bush is too nice to his wife, daughters and mother to ever pull off switching to UBL’s brand of Islam. Maybe when Bill becomes ambassador to the world he could try it out.
Hawkeye, just enjoyed the pictures on the last thread. Thanks so much for sharing! Wish I could have been there.
7 SGT USMC 1ea // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:50 pm
There would be a lot of benifits fer sure-Ain’t that the truth. Fortunately a born again Christian is incapable of any long term denial of Jesus without consequences. He will get your attention one way or the other or just take you home.
Some of you may remember when I posted about the poor Japanese singer on star search who chose a piece (Eleanor Rigby) on the the wrong side of the language barrier and wound up with “Ar the ronery peoper, Well do dey ar berong” WELL here is an even funnier interpretation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlmmVuxTHSA
Deus est Semper Fidelis
8 Fred Sinclair // Sep 7, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Looks like he could hve at least jumbled the words about. The stand in, look-alike seems to be reading practically verbatim right from the script provided to him by the American Left Wing Liberal Media and/or the Hollywood script writers.
Heirborn Ranger
9 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I now have a new, updated likeness of UBL pasted onto my dartboard-Triple 20 being right between his diabolical, beady eyes.
I zoomed in real close on the screen-capture (or whatever that hideous thing is that’s going around) and, well, I’m too old to be freaking myself out like that-peering under Dante’s infamous Inferno.
10 DrivebyMeteor // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:39 pm
“I would never join an organization that would accept me as a member!” – Groucho Marx
11 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:45 pm
BTW~~
The last sentence of Mr. Ott’s Post is an inspired stroke of genius.
Wow.
12 Darthmeister // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Osama bin Chomsky.
I haven’t figured out if bin Laden is stealing Democrat talking points or if Democrats are stealing bin Laden talking points.
13 Darthmeister // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:51 pm
BTW, Scott, this has to be one of your best parodies. I particularly like the idea of our troops converting to Islam and then by virtue of their conversion then having carte blanche privileges in killing as many Muslims as possible and staying as long as is needed to get the job done in conducting jihad against those kafir Sunnis and Shias who aren’t a part of the new Islamic Amerii tribe.
14 Shelly // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:53 pm
SGT, I’m crying! That was awesome!
15 EXT // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Democrats sell the talking points to terrorists.
They book the sales as “campaign contributions”.
16 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2007 at 6:24 pm
RE: #12~~
Yes, great article. The 2nd and 3rd paragraphs from the end are where it reaches a nice (Stravinsky-like) crescendo.
And, yes, Scott’s post is ALL mind-boggling crescendo (Tchaikovsky/Beethoven-like)-every syllable is a SLAM DUNK! (Led Zeppelin-like), et cetera…..
17 charmingtail // Sep 7, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Well knowing how much the Islamic Extremists love gays, Westren culture’s movies, actors, and comedy….Bus could end Hollywood…. mmmmm….Okay …. Bush should try Islamo-facism for a day!
18 I Have Pondered..... | 3rdBlog // Sep 7, 2007 at 7:51 pm
[…] has been a couple of weeks since I started this post. A couple of hours ago I popped into ScrappleFace and became rejuvenated. I will now archive the boring placeholder posts and begin anew. Today I […]
19 Bush Mulls Bin Laden Offer To Convert To Islam - News [ Ectio.us ] // Sep 7, 2007 at 8:41 pm
[…] From scrappleface.com […]
20 This Just In (Part II)!! » The Moderate Voice // Sep 7, 2007 at 8:45 pm
[…] just in from investigative reporter Scott Ott: Bush Mulls Bin Laden Offer to Convert to […]
21 Ms RightWing, Ink // Sep 7, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Oh no the cute little Eskimo bears are going to die. Where is Walt Disney when you need him.
Now the wackos are going for the heartstrings. What’s next
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/14070562/detail.html
“This grim news about polar bears and sea ice decline is horrifying, but it is a call to action, not despair,” said Kassie Siegel of the Arizona-based Center for Biological Diversity. “The good news is that there is still time to save polar bears. Our hope lies in a rapid response, including both deep and immediate carbon dioxide reductions and a full-court press on other greenhouse pollutants such as methane.”
The fate of polar bears has struck a public nerve. Fish and Wildlife officials have received 600,000 public comments so far on the proposed listing, spokesman Chris Tollefson said.
On Friday, Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass., urged the Bush administration to grant polar bears federal protection.
22 Hawkeye // Sep 7, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Shelly #6,
Glad you liked the pictures. We missed you. It will be great… in 2008.
23 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 7, 2007 at 9:34 pm
“Center for Biological Diversity”
gak
24 Hawkeye // Sep 7, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Scott, REALLY funny! One of your best. But… “U.S. President George”?? I don’t think I’ve ever heard him referred to like that before. Actually, that is kinda funny too.
25 gafisher // Sep 8, 2007 at 11:08 am
This might be a case of Kerryesque nuancing.
Bush Mulls Bin Laden Offer to Convert to Islam certainly could be interpreted as an offer by UBL to convert to the elusive “religion of peace” which President George seems to have discovered.
After all, bin Laden respects mullers.
26 gafisher // Sep 8, 2007 at 11:30 am
Re “The president added that he might convert to Islam just to “find out what it’s like to be a man who wears a dress and a bonnet and dyes his hair like a girl.”
Sugar, Spice,
All things Nice.
Shame Your Beard is
Full of Lice
Burka Shave
27 Beerme // Sep 9, 2007 at 7:14 am
Hey, the 2.5% flat tax is inviting…
28 Shanktified! » Blog Archive » Fatwa for Scrappleface // Sep 9, 2007 at 9:12 pm
[…] Ott (aka Scrappleface) seems just moments away from having a 6-pack of fatwa opened up on him with this one. “The president added that he might convert to Islam just to “find out what it’s like to […]
29 From DBD « Life As It Is // Sep 10, 2007 at 11:12 pm
[…] Bush Mulls Bin Laden Offer to Convert to Islam […]
30 Dodgeblogium » Blog Archive » Possible Breakthrough In Iraq // Sep 11, 2007 at 8:30 pm
[…] Surprisingly, President Bush is contemplating bin Laden’s offer: […]
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