(2007-08-24) — Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, convinced that a U.S. terror strike before the 2008 elections would help Republicans to hold the White House and recapture Congress, today called on al Qaeda to delay planned U.S. martyrdom operations until early 2009.
“I’m respectfully asking al Qaeda for a brief hiatus,” said Sen. Clinton, “until we can accomplish our shared goal of removing Republicans from power.”
While Mrs. Clinton said that she’s “the best of the Democrats” to deal with the terror threat against the U.S., she added “it would be wiser for Usama bin Laden to wait and to deal with President Hillary Clinton and an army of attorneys, than to rush into action and be forced to deal with Bush and an army of soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines.”
45 responses so far ↓
1 Darthmeister // Aug 24, 2007 at 8:53 am
The sad thing is al Qaeda would probably do it if it meant a Demoncrap victory. American leftists and Islamofascists have been on the same page for an American defeat in Iraq and Afghanistan since 9/11. Can’t have a victory under a Republican Administration, ya know.
2 Satire: Hillary to Qaeda: Help Me Beat GOP, Halt Terror ‘Till 2009 : “7.62mm Justice” ™ // Aug 24, 2007 at 9:36 am
[…] now, for the article from ScrappleFace… (2007-08-24) — Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, convinced that a U.S. terror strike before the […]
3 Gotcha // Aug 24, 2007 at 9:38 am
Hmmmm… I thought this was supposed to be a satire site?! Great job Sir!
4 gafisher // Aug 24, 2007 at 9:46 am
What “terror threat?!?” I thought this was about brave Freedom Fighters defending their (desired) homeland.
The “War on Terror” is just a bumper-sticker war, isn’t it?
5 camojack // Aug 24, 2007 at 9:47 am
I hear Nancy “Pulloutski” has connections with terrorist types…
6 PA Pundits . . . “the relentless pursuit of common sense” Satire: Hillary to Qaeda: Help Me Beat GOP, Halt Terror ‘Till 2009 « // Aug 24, 2007 at 9:51 am
[…] now, for the article from ScrappleFace… (2007-08-24) — Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, convinced that a U.S. terror strike before the […]
7 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 24, 2007 at 10:10 am
What a dame, what a dame
8 boberinyetagain // Aug 24, 2007 at 10:13 am
Maybe we should give lawyers a chance. If the enemy were to blow up a convoy of lawyers I doubt that anyone would be all that upset.
9 RedPepper // Aug 24, 2007 at 10:33 am
Note to Hillary: the word you’re looking for is hudna.
And I am sure that al Qaeda will be happy to oblige you. As they say in the Middle East, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
10 conserve-a-tips // Aug 24, 2007 at 10:42 am
Boy Scott…you are on a roll today, huh? Double ouch??
11 onlineanalyst // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:02 am
Would you even want to be friends with anyone seriously entertaining pulling the lever for Madame Hillary as president? Such people (still stuck in adolescent fantasy worlds of eternal youth and rebellion) have a wayward tendency of confusing appearances with reality. They are a marketer’s dream, buying any kind of hype as the real deal.
Caught in their romantic vision of “questioning authority”, the Hillary worshippers are willing to cede personal freedom to the embodiment of authoritarianism, the matriarch of “because I said so, and I know best”. (Personally, I wouldn’t trust that woman to be president of Student Council.)
12 University Update - Hillary Clinton - Hillary to Qaeda: Help Me Beat GOP, Halt Terror ‘Till 2009 // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:05 am
[…] Clark Hillary to Qaeda: Help Me Beat GOP, Halt Terror ‘Till 2009 » This Summary is from an article posted at ScrappleFace on Friday, August 24, 2007 This […]
13 da Bunny // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:09 am
“it would be wiser for Usama bin Laden to wait and to deal with President Hillary Clinton and an army of attorneys…”
Nothing of satire in this statement, unfortunately. Hey…maybe President Hitlery could appoint Johnny “Trial Attorney/Two Americas/Breck Girl/Silky Pony” Edwards as her AG. He could file lawsuits against Al Qaeda/UBL and use the proceeds to invest in forclosures on the victims of U.S. natural disasters. Shameless buffoons!
14 onlineanalyst // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:21 am
I don’t know if many of you check in on The American Spectator, but this Jeffrey Lord piece, “Hillary Rodham Queeg”, sums up her destructive attitude through a perfect analogy.
15 conserve-a-tips // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:54 am
Note to Scott: I don’t know that you could satarize this story any better, but you sure ought to try!!!
16 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:57 am
So has Hillary put out a strange video to the likes of bin Laden’s secretive messages?
I can almost see her being dubbed in Arabic, nostrils flared, eyes afire and mouth screeching like a Pakistanian owl
17 da Bunny // Aug 24, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Just read the “Hillary Rodham Queeg” piece you linked, ola. Sums her “thighness” up quite accurately.
18 Libby Gone // Aug 24, 2007 at 12:33 pm
One could only wish she would honor Islam and wear a viel! Head to toe!
19 Libby Gone // Aug 24, 2007 at 12:34 pm
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX large
20 EXT // Aug 24, 2007 at 12:34 pm
This scheme is certain to backfire if Bin Laden bites!
If terrorists are no longer a threat then Global Warming will advance a notch or two on the three Al Jazeera networks. With that much coverage algore will definitely replace Hillary on the ballot ’cause she just plain won’t be needed anymore. Not that she ever was….but that’s been a closely guarded secret up to now.
21 Wag the Cow « Axis of Right // Aug 24, 2007 at 1:46 pm
[…] of themselves. Sometimes its frightening when Democrats sound like parodies of themsleves. Here is a parody of She Who Must Not Be Named discussing terrorism; and here is SWMNBN sounding like said parody. Sometimes the jokes almost […]
22 Libby Gone // Aug 24, 2007 at 1:51 pm
opps SPELLCHECK LIBBY!
VEIL
23 Darthmeister // Aug 24, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Democrat solution to al Qeda terrorism: Sue them back to the Stone Age!
24 boberinyetagain // Aug 24, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Hank, that implies that they ever got out of the stone age. You give them too much credit…
25 boberinyetagain // Aug 24, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Hey gang, if you’re serious about wanting me at Scrapplefest it would be a good idea to send Mrs. Boberin (the Erin half of the deal) some encouragement at my home e-mail address which most of you have. She is in charge of/reads the home messages (once i leave work i have little interest in more computer time).
The idea of seeing Fallingwater almost got her there but almost doesn’t “walk the dog” so to speak.
She just needs a gentle nudge
26 Darthmeister // Aug 24, 2007 at 10:56 pm
I
standsit corrected, bober.27 Darthmeister // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:04 pm
sHrillary wants a housing bailout for people who bit off more than they could chew but wanted to live the “American Dream” by irresponsibly overextending their lifestyle instead of renting until they could actually afford a home mortage.
As Michelle Malkin wisely noted: “Take from responsible taxpayers and give to homeowners who made bad investments and are up to their eyeballs in debt. It’s the Democrat way.”
Once again Democrats are shamelessly pandering to people unwilling to take responsibility for their bad choices. Indeed, it is the Democrat way.
28 Maggie // Aug 25, 2007 at 7:22 am
Good Morning Campers!
29 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 25, 2007 at 7:30 am
Hey cool, it is not suppose to break 90 today! Thunderstorms rolling by but I hope they miss us because the largest Studebaker show of the year is right across the street.
Some of the finest Studebaker/Packard cars/trucks show up, but if it rains they stay home. Boo
30 Beerme // Aug 25, 2007 at 8:56 am
No rain, then! I have a friend who is a Packard junkie. He even bought an old Packard last year to fix up and take to car shows and such. It is an enormous waste of time and money imho, but…some people think beer is a waste of time, too!
31 mig // Aug 25, 2007 at 11:36 am
Oh Please! This is just the conspiratorial junk mail that moonbats love! Scott how you get it right on the dang nail I’ll never know but you do it amazingly well.
(applause) Bravo!
32 1984alloveragain // Aug 25, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Hillary can beg Osama not to attack, but he probably won’t listen. He doesn’t care who wins in ‘08, because as far as he’s concerned neither party is serious about catching him. However, he would care if Whitney Houston was on the ticket.
33 Ironic Surrealism II // Aug 25, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Saturday Fun..Target Hillary…
Hillary’s latest political proclamation has set both the left and the right all a-twitter. What a coup. [facetiously speaking that is]
I’ll not comment on her blathering. At this point, there is not much I could add. All commentary has r…
34 EXT // Aug 25, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Democrap plan to cut health care costs:
Everybody knows that fair-skinned people with strawberry blonde hair are very apt to develop cancer.
Therefore, as a first step, all fair-skinned strawberry blondes (male or female) up to age 48 will be sterlized. A one-time minimal expense. Ensures that the defect is not passed on.
Everybody knows that cancer is very expensive to treat.
Therefore all fair-skinned strawberry blondes (male or female) above 48 will be euthanized. This will prevent any need to spend health-care dollars on them.
Everybody knows that obesity is difficult to overcome and the cost of the effort and to treat those whose health is negatively affected by it……..
Need I continue?
Oh…side benefit…all those euthanized are spared the pain and suffering through the lengthy and costly medical treatment they might otherwise require. Besides, they can still vote in Chicago…..
35 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 26, 2007 at 7:55 am
H
36 Maggie // Aug 26, 2007 at 8:09 am
Good Morning everyone.
Ms RightWing………H?
37 Lee // Aug 26, 2007 at 11:26 am
Proof that Hoof and Mouth disease can be spread to humans..
38 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 26, 2007 at 12:03 pm
re:35
I wonder what in the H that is doing there. The H is still in my comment box. I think earlier I started to say the usual hello, blah, blah, blahs and got a might distracted.
But shucks, I don’t know how it got on your screen. Hmm, funny things them computers.
39 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 26, 2007 at 3:35 pm
AMAZING GRACE HOW LOST I WAS
This story, first published in July of 1997 in a California newspaper, is a promise made to our Scrapple friend Mary Pearce whose son just received his pastorate at this very same church. Small world, eh, I don’t know. I think there is a purpose in all things. [Ecclesiastes 3:1] It is important to remember I wrote it from my 1972 religious prospective, so anything that sounds anti-church is not the view held today.
http://shellyscafe.blogspot.com/
40 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 26, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Oh my has scrapple died or what. Oh, that’s right, it is Sunday and everyone is at the beach
41 EXT // Aug 26, 2007 at 8:41 pm
So the fathers of Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, while still alive, built a time machine in the Reid family garage.
A two-seater.
They zoomed years ahead and were amazed to see their offspring in Congress.
They listened to the rhetoric about pulling out! Pulling out.
They took it to heart and went back to their own time.
And did as their children demanded.
The future, our present, became a far, far better place.
42 1984alloveragain // Aug 27, 2007 at 12:27 am
To continue the story about Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi’s fathers. Harry’s dad, a Mormon, and Nancy’s dad, a Catholic, better known to all as “Bill and Ted” decided to form, “Wild Stalions” a rock band to save the world.
Their efforts failed due to an evil robot named “Dick” Cheney, and retard named “W”.
Under the banner of amnesty for illegals, endless war in the Middle East for the US, and “free” trade. The evil pair of Dick and W were too much for “Wild Stalions” at the annual battle of the bands. “Wild Stalions” wanted to rock and meet hot chicks. So they failed to notice Dick as he slipped a few Benjamins to the Judges. Alas those Judges, now known as the “Supreme Court”, awarded the Presidency to W and the rest is history. Are we really better off today than we were seven years ago?
43 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 27, 2007 at 7:15 am
1984alloveragain
Are you asking or telling????
44 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 27, 2007 at 7:45 am
okay folks, back to work.
45 Ms RightWing, Ink // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:43 am
whoosh
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