(2007-05-05) — Animal rights activists, part of the global progressive movement that has already declared U.S. President George Bush to be a 'chimp', this week pressed an Austrian court to declare a chimpanzee named Hiasl (HEE-zul) to be a 'person'.
If the legal petition succeeds, White House officials say the president might again enjoy full rights of personhood in Europe and liberal enclaves worldwide.
“The president is obviously hopeful about the outcome of the case,” said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow. “Not only could this ruling restore dignity to the office of the presidency, but it might also ensure President Bush gets better treatment in the future, and could protect him from being used in medical experiments.”
48 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 7:06 am
God Bless America
2 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 7:07 am
“…..used in medical experiments.”
Too funny!
3 Shelly // May 5, 2007 at 7:08 am
I guess this means the peace lovers won’t get to hang and shoot him? And the Abu Graib protestors were so looking forward to really torturing him. They’ll be so disappointed. Sometimes life is unfair.
4 MargeinMI // May 5, 2007 at 7:17 am
Will he lose his title of Chimperor?
5 vittles scooper // May 5, 2007 at 7:42 am
The apt. building where I live rents an office to an animal activist organization that raises money for their activities. They have a long lease and a huge space that includes a backyard. Every year I plant flowers in front of the building and decorate at Christmas time so we share that area and 2 years ago I went in their office to borrow a shovel and the water in the sink was blasting. You could see roaches scurrying around the edges of the sink having a field day and I turned the water off and this guy YELLS “Don’t turn the water off!” So I said what are you doing wasting water!!????? and he yells “I leave it on all day so I can run the water bill up ! (we have a mean landlady who he was having litigation with) I yelled back now why on earth are you doing that plus it attracts roaches and other rodents to the building and he screamed: “WHAT DO I CARE !!!!! – I DON’T LIVE HERE !!!!!”
And the pretty much sums up animal activists as far as I’m concerned.
6 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 5, 2007 at 7:51 am
How about French women who never shave their legs and armpits?
Are they human or ape. Well not ape maybe, since they generally don’t turn and run. Spider monkey perhaps.
7 Big Java // May 5, 2007 at 8:10 am
Ok, I have to say it…I guess this puts new meaning in “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle”…
8 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 8:13 am
King Kong was overheard saying, “About time!”
9 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 8:24 am
George Henderson: He walked into our kitchen and was eating out of our refrigerator. I thought he was gonna eat me but he ate our daughter’s corsage and then ate our goldfish!
Sergeant Mancini: And where is he now, Mr. Henderson?
George Henderson: In the bathroom.
Sergeant Mancini: Oh, of course, how stupid of me.
10 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 8:30 am
Dr. Zaius: Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I’m all in favor of it. But your behavior studies are another matter. To suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Why, man is a nuisance. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It’s a question of simian survival.
11 Maggie // May 5, 2007 at 9:08 am
Too bad.I was hoping my cat Rain would be able to sleep in the Lincoln Kennel.
12 Maggie // May 5, 2007 at 9:14 am
Good Saturday morning all.
Ms Right Wing,
I hope you are feeling better today.
Marge,
Talk about your animals,if the Democrabs win the White House,it will really go to the dogs.
13 camojack // May 5, 2007 at 9:34 am
Jane Goodall should be consulted…
14 Possumtrot // May 5, 2007 at 10:23 am
Doing the weekend moratorium thing with the news, but I caught this item earlier this morning. Good take on the news of the absurd, Great Scott!
I was all set to take Paris Hilton to a Kentucky Derby party today, but she kept gulping the mint juleps and falling off her horse. Orange is not her best color, but she’ll definitely be getting a reality-based dose of “the simple life”.
Best wishes to Ms. RW! Hang in there! God save the Queen, and happy Cinco de Mayo. What a day!
15 Possumtrot // May 5, 2007 at 11:31 am
More mindless meanderings over at United Possums International.
Why the book didn’t get written.
16 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 11:33 am
Lalalalalalala
In man’s evolution he’s created the city and the motor traffic rumble
But give me half a chance and I’d be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
‘Cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury
To be like an ape man
I’m an ape man
I’m an ape ape man
Oh, I’m an ape man
I’m a King Kong man
I’m a voodoo man
Oh, I’m an ape man
From “Apeman” by Ray Davies on The Kinks’ album “Lola versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One” (1970)
17 Darthmeister // May 5, 2007 at 11:45 am
Wait, I thought the left-wing whackos had just downgraded President Bush to chimp. They’re such people of love, understand and compassion aren’t they?
18 gafisher // May 5, 2007 at 11:49 am
I doubt the loonie left would accept President Bush as a member of their species unless, like Hiasl, he spoke their language and shared their mental abilities.
19 Rock Slatestone // May 5, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Where’s Dr Doolittle when you need him?
20 GnuCarSmell // May 5, 2007 at 1:15 pm
These animal rights people are nuts. There is no Global War On Terriers.
21 Fred Sinclair // May 5, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Europe and liberal enclaves worldwide, have obviously forgotten that this country wasn’t founded by monkeys, IslamoNazis or Communists but by Christians to establish a Christian Nation. Those that don’t like it can (1) leave or (2) Sit down and stuff a slab of Apple Pie in their piehole or (3) wake up, smell the flowers and join us - speaking English of course.
Patrick Henry, that patriot and Founding Father of our country said:
“It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ”.
The very first Supreme Court Justice, John Jay, said:
“Americans should select and prefer Christians as their rulers.”
How, then, have we gotten to the point that everything we have done for 220 years in this country is now suddenly wrong and unconstitutional?
Heirborn Ranger
22 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 3:56 pm
RE: #21~~
Heirborn Ranger~~
Yes.
23 RedPepper // May 5, 2007 at 7:16 pm
If you were George Bush, would you really want to be declared a member of the same species as these “animal rights activists”?
To quote the late, great Groucho Marx, “I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member.”
24 JamesonLewis3rd // May 5, 2007 at 7:16 pm
This is the kind of news the Leftists like to suppress.
25 Darthmeister // May 5, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Interviewer: The American Congress recently passed a bill which ties the funding of American forces in Iraq and Afghanistan to a timetable for the withdrawal of American forces from Iraq which ends next March. What is your comment on this resolution?
al Zawahiri: This bill reflects American failure and frustration. However, this bill will deprive us of the opportunity to destroy the American forces which we have caught in a historic trap. We ask Allah that they only get out of it after losing two hundred to three hundred thousand killed, in order that we give the spillers of blood in Washington and Europe an unforgettable lesson which will motivate them to review their entire doctrinal and moral system which produced their historic criminal Crusader/Zionist entity.
Of course this nutbag is using reverse psychology. He reminds me of the Black Knight (Kahnigget) in Monty Python’s Holy Grail. Video here.
You can also watch a hilarious update of the Monty Python scene here. It’s Darth Vader as the Black Knight.
Of course we know the Dhimmiecrats are doing their best to make al Zawahiri’s dream come true, for America to cut-and-run from the battlefield so terrorist forces can reconstitute themselves in peace.
26 JamesonLewis3rd // May 6, 2007 at 5:01 am
If you have a few minutes to read something interesting.
27 Darthmeister // May 6, 2007 at 8:29 am
I think its time for federal prosecutors to quite pussyfooting around and vigorously prosecute the D.C. Madam of that house of ill repute in Washington. It’s time to arrest Nancy Pelosi.
BTW, all we heard about was all the wonderful things the Dhimmiecrats were going to accomplish for the base in the first 100 hours. What have they done in the first 100 DAYS?
28 JamesonLewis3rd // May 6, 2007 at 9:19 am
Answer:
Zip.
29 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 6, 2007 at 10:27 am
Hmm, quiet Sunday-all is at rest on the earth
30 conserve-a-tips // May 6, 2007 at 11:14 am
MsRightwing, Ink: Yes, very peaceful after a reminder of God’s awesome power last night, via the weather, here in Okie-ville. We were up until 1 am being the eyes and ears for our boys as they were on the road dodging tornadoes in the western part of our state. Stupid kids!!! I hope that you are feeling better today.
Darthmeister: Didn’t you know? They promised to bring the nation back together into one big happy family who all gets along and to be different from the Republicans who had divided the nation! Where have you been? Can’t you see how unified we are and how everybody is working together in Congress? And haven’t you seen how polite they are being to the President? My goodness, I am surprised that you have missed all of that. (ok, sarcasm mode off)
31 GnuCarSmell // May 6, 2007 at 11:32 am
Looks like Sarkozy is France’s new president. The pro-American Sarkozy, a primate, beat Royale, an invertebrate, whose rallying cry was “Leftward Ho!” (English translation).
Maybe this will reverse France’s long decline into self-destruction. If not, “we’ll always have Paris.”
32 conserve-a-tips // May 6, 2007 at 11:45 am
GnuCarSmell ~ great post! You are a hoot.
♪ I lovvve Paris in the Springtimmmme….♪
33 Darthmeister // May 6, 2007 at 11:53 am
c.a.t.
Color my cynical.
As to the utopia of Phrance, this year I wonder when the elderly will start dying in un-airconditioned homes after the heat wave hits and these workers of the world are uniting in taking advantage of one of their 8 vacation weeks?
Oh, that’s right, it’s Global Warming’s fault.
34 GnuCarSmell // May 6, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Thanks c-a-t. Glad the “H” word didn’t offend.
Darth #27 - I’m stealing your idea and will start referring to Nancy as “Madam Pelosi, who runs the House of Ill Repute.”
35 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 6, 2007 at 12:07 pm
My thoughts and prayers go out to the folks across Tornado Alley. As one who lived on the upper end of the strip I know the ever lasting nights where split second lightning flashes were our only hope of seeing impending danger from the sky.
Back in the early 70’s we had absolutely nothing for night time warnings as FM radio stations were non-existent in rural Minnesota and AM was so full of static that you could not understand anything on the radio stations who already cut back power for nighttime broadcasting
Now, technology has increased and safety precautions are in place, but alas nature will never be tamed. Springtime can be deadly and the stories of the Kansas tornadoes are fearful
36 conserve-a-tips // May 6, 2007 at 12:25 pm
MsRightwing,Ink: Do you mean to say that humans can’t affect the weather? Blasphemy!
Yes, this time of year serves to remind us here that life is short and stuff is just stuff. One of the young men traveling with my sons last night (their band) found out that his sister and brother-in-law lost their home in the Greensburg tornado on Friday night. They have nothing left but each other. To me, unlike Al Gore’s run-around-like-a -chicken-with-his-head-cut-off-totally-focused-on-man’s-control, these storms are a reminder to us how we fit into God’s scheme of things and how we are NOT to get arrogant. I just sigh for those who have bought into the man-made global warming mess, because they are so hooked into man’s power that they miss who has the real power. But they will find out the hard way, blaming GWB all the way down.
37 conserve-a-tips // May 6, 2007 at 12:29 pm
GnuCarSmell: No problem. I just assumed that you knew that the woman of ill repute was in Washington and plans to stay there, and that you were just encouraging us out here in the West to keep our gardens weeded. So of course, there was no offense at all. I go out ‘hoeing’ everyday.
38 Fred Sinclair // May 6, 2007 at 12:51 pm
The hottest summer I have ever personally experienced was after 15 years in Texas followed by 15 years in Florida, I moved to Michigan in 1986; the following year was very hot, scores of elderly died in Chicago and they were giving away free floor fans to the elderly and poor. The last twenty years have been nothing like the summer of 1987. Yet compared to the folks who CHOSE to live in “Death Valley” 1987 was no big deal.
With dozens of consecutive days at over 100 degrees in death vlley, Algore’s “Global Warming” doesn’t really impress me all that much-one half of one degree increase in the last hundred years? Gimmie a break! and btw who was consolidating the tempeture in 1907 for China, So. Africa, The Saraha desert, Korea, Japan, Antiartica etc? We can’t even get reliable average earths temp even today, let alone a hundred years ago. A half of a degree, my left foot!
Algore - your hot air baloon is rising out of sight - hope yo’re in it.
Heirborn Ranger
39 Fred Sinclair // May 6, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Dennys in Holland, MI - Coffee $1.17 including sales tax. that works out to $35.00 a month (@ 1 per day).
Scott has a very convinent PayPal button in the upper right.
Just how valable do we deem Scott’s labors to be anyway?
Heirborn Ranger
40 JamesonLewis3rd // May 6, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Summer of 1980 had quite a heat wave, too. I happened to be in St. Louis where the temps were over 100 degrees for over 30 days in a row-over 300 died (mostly elderly).
41 JamesonLewis3rd // May 6, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Anybody here like satire?
42 Darthmeister // May 6, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Conservative Nicolas Sarkozy has won the hotly-contested French presidential election and leftists throw rocks in protest.
That’s about par for the course. Can’t wait to hear from the barking moonbats how Sarkozy stole the elections. What is it with leftists and their lunatic conspiracy theories?
43 Darthmeister // May 6, 2007 at 4:43 pm
JL3rd, Iowahawk is always hilarious, but that satire hits it out of da’ park because its so dead on. Well worth the five minutes to read.
44 Ms RightWing, Ink // May 6, 2007 at 9:22 pm
File this under hate crimes-then run and hide from embarrassment. Zeech, how dumb those marchers must have felt.
Law enforcement officials say the reasons people have for making false reports are as varied as the people who make them.
Whatever the motive, there has been no shortage of examples over the years.
Kabob House
In 1995, Fargo police found Zhaleh Sarabakhsh bound and gagged with tape outside the burning Kabob House restaurant her family owned on 25th Street South.
Sarabakhsh had been cut in the stomach with a knife and at first it was perceived as a hate crime, prompting hundreds to march against racism and donate money to help the restaurant get back on its feet.
Sarabakhsh was later charged with arson, endangerment by fire and making a false report after witnesses came forward to say they saw someone matching her description buying tape and gasoline containers.
A judge found her not guilty because she did not understand the consequences of her actions and she was ordered to undergo treatment at the North Dakota State Hospital in Jamestown.
FARGO FORUM
45 JamesonLewis3rd // May 6, 2007 at 9:52 pm
If you or I had done that, we’d be doing 20 years.
46 Darthmeister // May 7, 2007 at 5:09 am
According to some eco-leftist whack-jobs, having a large family makes one an “eco-criminal” .
Next thing ya know they’ll be calling the human race something like an AIDS virus … oh wait, someone has.
If this eco-moron wants to “re-wild” the planet, then why shouldn’t he show us the way by eliminating himself and his extended family? Hypocrite. After all, IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN! What a latent Stalinist. I suppose that makes China one of the most moral countries on the Earth with its totalitarian one child family policies.
47 Darthmeister // May 7, 2007 at 5:17 am
Is there any irony in the fact that the Austrians who gave us Hitler now want to declare a chimp a “person”? Hmmmmmm?
48 Darthmeister // May 7, 2007 at 8:49 am
Greg Forbes, severe-weather expert, in response to recent tornado devastation: “We’ve had a lot of bad luck in terms of where these tornadoes have hit.”
Global Warmism culties are thinking: “Wow, imagine that, Global Warming has improved the aim of tornadoes!”
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