(2007-04-18) — Democrat presidential hopeful John Edwards today unveiled the centerpiece of his 2008 White House bid, a budget-neutral proposal to provide universal hair care to every American.
The former North Carolina senator and 2004 vice presidential candidate is the acknowledged “hair policy wonk” among Democrat candidates.
Speaking to a convention of stylists and cosmetologists yesterday, Mr. Edwards described “the vast divide between the well-coiffed and the un-coiffed masses — a divide as sharp as the part in my own tawny locks.”
“Haircuts averaging $250 to $800, which I receive, are out of reach for people who live in the other America,” said Mr. Edwards. “As a result, we see far too many getting what I call back-alley haircuts for $15 to $25, or relying on home remedies for hair conditions which really need professional attention.”
The Edwards universal hair care proposal would not boost the federal deficit, or result in real tax increases, Mr. Edwards said, because the government would negotiate favorable pricing from hair care providers, and thanks to the savings wealthy Americans could subsidize the styling of the poor.
59 responses so far ↓
1 onlineanalyst // Apr 18, 2007 at 7:54 am
Let’s hope that the nappy-headed don’t buy into this fleecing.
(Too bad that I stored up my rant for the end of the last thread. Let me know if you think that I need therapy.)
2 onlineanalyst // Apr 18, 2007 at 7:55 am
Oh, and God save America!
3 mig // Apr 18, 2007 at 7:58 am
Sauve for everyone.
4 Scott Ott // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:00 am
Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care…
by Scott Ott(2007-04-18) — Democrat presidential hopeful John Edwards today unveiled the centerpiece of his 2008 White House bid, a budget-neutral proposal to provide universal hair care to every American.The former North Carolina senator and 2004……
5 Ms RightWing, Ink // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:08 am
I knew this would happen. For my rants on the convocations go back one page.
Now back to read Scott’s new posting
6 Ms RightWing, Ink // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:10 am
Universal hair care!!! Why not make Wildroot an affordable prescription. You know a little dab will do ya.
Charlie told ya so.
7 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:25 am
Edwards is a nappy-headed bore.
8 camojack // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:26 am
On those rare occasions when I actually do get my hair cut…I know a couple of gals who do it for free.
9 Just Ranting // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:27 am
Mr. Baldo for Hair-ttorney General!
10 boberinyetagain // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:28 am
Now there’s a platform that the “the Donald” will support unconditionally!
11 boberinyetagain // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:40 am
camo, I guess that makes you “part of the problem” then, watch yourself!
The hair police are watching, listening, taking names…
12 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:50 am
What we might look forward to on the campaign trail:
“I promise a chicken in every pot and Pantene™ Hair Conditioner in every bathroom.”
“Toupé or not toupé, that is the question.”
“Bad hair day? HELP IS ON THE WAY!”
“Under my hair care system at least you’ll die looking good.”
“If you don’t vote for me I’ll sue you.”
13 upnorthlurkin // Apr 18, 2007 at 8:56 am
Thanks for the belly-laugh this morning, Scott! What a tool! Think of the meals the poor could’ve had with that $250 to $800!! Tsk, tsk…..(Have we ever had the opportunity to peruse Hair Edwards’ tax return…I’d like to see his charitable contributions.)
14 GnuCarSmell // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:01 am
This will not help Edwards’ image as a primping preening girly-man.
Back to the shooter for a moment, he was at least partially motivated by a resentment of “rich kids.” Sounds like he took John Edwards’ whine about “Two Americas” a little too seriously.
15 Ms RightWing, Ink // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:22 am
Looking for good news? The Supremes just ruled partial birth abortions does not take away the womens rights to an abortion. Yea! No more partial birth abortions.
16 RedPepper // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:32 am
Ah, yes. The good old days …
♫ Gimme a head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain’t no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my…
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair ♫
(lyrics by Gerome Ragni ; music by Galt MacDermot)
17 tomg // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:38 am
Can I sell my certificates on a street corner and buy food instead?
Or you can buy them as an offset for excessive preening?
Don’t think I’ll check the Hair Care contribution box on my tax return - now where is the box for weapons development…..
18 seneuba // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:43 am
Darth #12…
You forgot:
“My followers will dye for my cause.”
“The only cuts I believe in come from a stylist’s shear.”
“I fully support funding for our military. I even initiated the research into a helmet that would allow our soldiers to fight all day in 100 degree heat, and still have great looking hair at the PX that night.”
“I’m not a black and white guy in the war on terror. I believe in various shades of gray…or even a hint of auburn…or some nice red highlights…I guess it all depends on what mood I’m in before going out.”
19 Shelly // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:48 am
Why is it that politicians only come up with half-way solutions? After the usual spring gardening my nails are a real mess. When is the government going to care about me?
RE: 7, bravisimo! Too funny.
20 tomg // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:51 am
Hey, where’s my Universal Global Warming Insurance? Its my right!
….if median annual temperature at your site increases by more than 2°F in 100 years you will be entitled to energy offsets for additional AC above the amount required at 2007 median level, offset by savings in heating…..
21 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 10:30 am
seneuba, I bow to your superior humor. “My followers will dye for my cause” will surely become a classic.
How about some variations on a theme:
“If given a choice between tax cuts and a good hair cut …”
Heard off camera when trying to clear his throat … “Coiffeur … coiffeur …”
“Does my hair make my butt look big?”
“I see no moral problem with using embryonic stem cell research to advance the science of hair care.”
“When I look at my hair in the mirror, I always think to myself, ‘What would Jesus do? More wave or less.’”
22 conserve-a-tips // Apr 18, 2007 at 10:37 am
Well folks, this just goes to show that Edwards is Head and Shoulders above the rest of the pack. Nyuck, nyuck.
23 conserve-a-tips // Apr 18, 2007 at 10:40 am
Redpepper, re#16: And sung by the Cowsills! I loved that song. Used to belt it out right with the radio.
24 GnuCarSmell // Apr 18, 2007 at 10:54 am
Edwards rightly understands that Good Hair is guaranteed under the Constitution. That’s why he will create a new entitlement — MediHair™ — for Category 5 and above cases of bad hair (think Alan Colmes).
Ain’t social justice grand.
25 hair cuts » Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care // Apr 18, 2007 at 10:59 am
[…] Ed Morrissey wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt(2007-4-18) — Democrat presidential hopeful John Edwards today unveiled the centerpiece of his 2008 White House bid, a budget-neutral proposal to provide universal hair care to every American. The former North Carolina senator and 2004 … […]
26 hair styles cut » Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care // Apr 18, 2007 at 11:01 am
[…] Ed Morrissey wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt(2007-4-18) — Democrat presidential hopeful John Edwards today unveiled the centerpiece of his 2008 White House bid, a budget-neutral proposal to provide universal hair care to every American. The former North Carolina senator and 2004 … […]
27 Just Ranting // Apr 18, 2007 at 11:03 am
OT: Just got a Fox News alert. Headline: “SUPREME COURT UPHOLDS NATIONWIDE BAN ON PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTIONS”.
28 conserve-a-tips // Apr 18, 2007 at 11:24 am
Darthmeister, you are a riot today!¤¤
29 Shelly // Apr 18, 2007 at 11:41 am
JR, funny that Obama didn’t mention partial birth abortion in his list of violences - VT shooting, name calling and businesses relocating.
30 boberinyetagain // Apr 18, 2007 at 12:27 pm
This man is all over this foreign policy stuff…
CAIRO, April 18 (Xinhua) — Visiting US Defense Secretary Robert Gates said here Wednesday that failure in Iraqi would unleash sectarian strife and extremism which would be felt first in the Middle East region.
I love a man on top of a situation
31 Later Gater // Apr 18, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Edwards is always so Pert. I’m anxiously awaiting his plan for the War on Dandruff.
32 Fred Sinclair // Apr 18, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Latest Straw Poll - Fred Thompson with over 36 K leading
Joe Biden 104 vote(s)
Sam Brownback 4,416 vote(s)
Hillary Clinton 1,710 vote(s)
Jim Gilmore 145 vote(s)
Chris Dodd 22 vote(s)
Newt Gingrich 14,305 vote(s)
John Edwards 2,790 vote(s)
Rudy Giuliani 8,539 vote(s)
Barack Obama 2,105 vote(s)
Chuck Hagel 92 vote(s)
Bill Richardson 262 vote(s)
Mike Huckabee 4,429 vote(s)
Duncan Hunter 897 vote(s)
John McCain 7,110 vote(s)
Ron Paul 3,047 vote(s)
Mitt Romney 11,466 vote(s)
Fred Thompson 36,209 vote(s)
Tommy Thompson 666 vote(s)
Tom Tancredo2, 905 vote(s)
Heirborn Ranger
33 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 18, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Scientist claims cremation contributes to “global warming”
Heh. Well, they claim that breathing does, too.
So, whatcha gonna do!?!
34 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Interesting you say that, Shelly. Here’s this empty suit whining about how Imus (merely repeating a phrase he probably heard on some rap station) is as guilty of “violence” as some demented South Korean student who literally murdered 32 people in cold-blood. And then this same moron has the unmitigated gall to whine about a Supreme Court decision which upholds the right of the executive and legislative branches to pass a law that outlaws the murder of partially birthed babies by sucking their brains out. I’m tellin’ ya, liberalism is an evil sickness, a mental disease. Obama is a sicko just like Edwards and sHrillary. See my post on previous thread.
Liberals are always connecting dots where none exist if it suits their fancy. Consider just how twisted one has to be to find in the Constitution a “right” to slaughter partially-birthed babies as well as a “right” not to be offended - neither of which can even remotely be consider penumbral rights by a rational and moral person.
35 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Doesn’t anyone else get the impression that John Edwards missed his calling as a Vidal Sassoon lite?
Kerry is limping
Obama is pimping
Hillary is primping
and … Edwards is primping, too.
36 upnorthlurkin // Apr 18, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Careful! I just heard some more “climate change” experts are blaming the warming on lack of population control on the part of the USA!! Too many people exhaling….proving once again, MahaRushie is right…Environmentalism is the new home of the displaced communists….Yet another arguement for more abortions. I can hardly wait for the legislation limiting the number of children couples can have.
37 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 18, 2007 at 3:30 pm
That Ginsberg is one sick puppy.
38 conserve-a-tips // Apr 18, 2007 at 3:31 pm
James you beat me to it. I read that article and laughed my head off. These global warming people are getting plumb crazy…no…they are already there.
Upnorthlurkin: Did you see that they are now saying that the reason there might not be as many hurricanes is because global warming might cause wind shear that will sap the hurricanes of their strength. Isn’t it nice to have a religion that is prepared for any scenario and has an answer for both sides of the fence?
39 Ms RightWing, Ink // Apr 18, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Just Ranting
re:27
re:15
Oh don’t worry I was just ranting. Oh no, that is you. Ah forget it, I’m just tired and cranky so must go and take a nap
40 upnorthlurkin // Apr 18, 2007 at 4:01 pm
CAT, Yup, it’s good, it’s bad; it’s good, it’s….wait…I wonder if they’ll decide hurricanes are good for population control…?! Uff da!! Could be bad news for N’awlins! The rush to rebuild below sea level is on!! This gets so complicated!
Rest well, Ms Rightwing! We’ll watch the shop till you’re back!
41 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 18, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Check out the look on this “woman’s” face.
She looks like a psycho, big time. (I mean, she usually does, but…..)
42 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Now NBC is saying they have a video manifesto by this Cho nutbag that they acquired in between his two killing fields!
And isn’t it wonderful to find out that university authorities knew this guy was disturbed, recommend counseling for him, knew some students were so fearfully of him they wouldn’t attend classes when he was there, knew there were coeds who complaind about him stalking them (then they wouldn’t press charges), knew he set a fire in the dorm, etc. WELL HOW ABOUT CONNECTING SOME DOTS HERE, PEOPLE! You screamed it at the Bush Administration and our intelligence community enough times and now you have 32 dead students on your hands on your “gun-free” campus.
And then what do liberals do when a perp has been sending out all kinds of signals about how unbalanced and dangerous he is and then he murders people, YA BLAME THE GUNS!
This guy should have been in a straitjacket a year ago … oh, but we can’t do that because THAT WOULD VIOLATE HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. Yeah, well what about the constitutional rights of the 32 people he butchered?
Check it out next time there is a mass killing. Invariably the perp is known to be an anti-social freak and/or he has a list of violent priors which usually include assault, battery, or some firearms violation. What is the left’s response? BUT WE CAN’T KEEP HIM IN PRISON AND WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL HE PULLS THE TRIGGER WHEN HE’S OUT. So when the perp does shoot up a bunch of people, liberals immediately go into default mode - blame the gun.
43 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 5:34 pm
MSNBC has a new photo of this Cho nutcase. They’re essentially crowing over the fact NBC has scooped everyone else by receiving this multi-media manifesto from a murderer. Interesting that Cho chose NBC, I guess he felt he could trust them to get his message out just like Usama bin Laden. There’s money to be made on this massacre, don’t ya know! I guess NBC is handing the written and digital materials over to law enforcement but I wouldn’t doubt they made a copy of the DVD that will eventually be “leaked”.
44 conserve-a-tips // Apr 18, 2007 at 5:34 pm
But Darthmeister, don’t you understand, in this culture of mainstreaming the mentally ill, heaven help you if you might make somebody mad.
45 Fred Sinclair // Apr 18, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I liked Rush’s suggestion that instead of trying to ban Guns, we should ban Political Correctness. A Constitutional Amendment sounds just fine.
Actually, in post WWII Germany there was a law passed making Nazi’s illegal. Very quickly, being a Nazi in Germany was somewhat worse than having an advanced case of Leprosy.
I would love to see the exact same law passed here in America, excepting that it would be Liberals who would be illegal and they would by far prefer to be known as a leper than a liberal.
“….and to the Republic, for which it stands…” It does not read, “…..and to the Union of American Socialist Republic, for which it stands” as many would like it to read. The UASR ? - Harrumph and fiddlesticks!
Heirborn Ranger
46 Fred Sinclair // Apr 18, 2007 at 6:26 pm
On August 26, 1920 an Amendment to the Constitution was ratified. Up until that time America was on the rise. We had greatness following our victory over Germany. All the world looked up to us. The “Roaring Twenties” fizzled out with the depression - then came WWII and another Victory! But hovering on the horizon was that 19th Amendment. looming like a dark cloud of despair. The beginning of American Socialism!
Bleeding hearts, all over America began passing new laws, revoking old laws. Bringing up boys to become and live as bleeding heart liberals. Children born out of wedlock were no longer referred to as bastards; homosexuals were invited into parlors of the best homes, police no longer arrested and jailed them. Then they engineered “Roe vs Wade” and made abortion a back-up form of birth control. They erased the basis of American Criminal Justice “Crime and Punishment” and replaced it with “Crime and Rehabilitation”, they replaced honest work, character and integrity with one “entitlement” program piled upon another.
Now of course there are exceptions - there are some conservative ladies who are like minded, Ann Colter and a few with her attitude. But they are more than offset with the wimpy wannabee males who carry out their orders and vote the way they’re told.
The 21st amendment repealed the 18th and now the repeal of the 19th is long overdue, since it’s impossible for liberals to exist without the 19th, although by now there are enough spineless wannabees who have been mentally “fixed” (as a Vet would phrase it) to make recovery a slow process.
To repeal Roe vs Wade, Reinstate sodomy as a punishable crime, to revoke most entitlement programs and to move to a flat tax system, cut the Federal budget by 60%, double or triple the military’s budget, ensure that no one in our military is paid so little as to be eligible for welfare and food stamps, arrest and deport 100% of those who cannot prove citizenship, build and maintain a 700 mile wall across our border, double our Border Patrol (and double their wages),,,,,,,all of this will take time but then, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.
Some satire, some not -
satire |ˈsaˌtīr| noun the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. See note at wit . • a play, novel, film, or other work that uses satire : a stinging satire on American politics. • a genre of literature characterized by the use of satire. • (in Latin literature) a literary miscellany, esp. a poem ridiculing prevalent vices or follies.
Heirborn Ranger
47 Fred Sinclair // Apr 18, 2007 at 6:29 pm
The part about the 19th Amendment is satire (for the benefit of those in Rio Linda)
Heirborn Ranger
48 Darthmeister // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:33 pm
I bet after listening to the rants of this Cho-scum, there are going to be a whole lot of liberals thinking to themselves, “Hey, you know something, this guy does make some good points, especially about the failure of religion and the evil of rich people.” [cue Twilight Zone music]
49 Bill's Bites // Apr 18, 2007 at 9:39 pm
2007.04.18 Decision ‘08 Roundup…
Updated from the top. Please treat this as a blog-within-a-blog, come back often, and scroll down till you hit something you saw on your last visit. Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care Look who’s propping up Al Sharpton Gallup: Hillary’s…
50 Rvee01 // Apr 19, 2007 at 12:21 am
First Slick Billy, now Slick Eddie
51 Darthmeister // Apr 19, 2007 at 6:07 am
US Marine Corps Silent Drill Platoon.
Crowd reaction is also fantastic.
52 Darthmeister // Apr 19, 2007 at 6:12 am
In wake of the Virginia Tech massacre, Tennessee moves to allow conceal carry in its public buildings.
Finally, some sanity. Tennessee is one of the states I can conceal carry if I so choose.
53 I can get behind John Edwards on this one « Love, Mom (Notes from the fridge) // Apr 19, 2007 at 6:31 am
[…] Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care […]
54 M*A // Apr 19, 2007 at 6:33 am
I CAN GET BEHIND JOHN EDWARDS ON THIS ONE…
The Daughter and I are in agreement on this (husband still laughing)
Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care
by Scott Ott
(2007-04-18) — Democrat presidential hopeful
John Edwards today unveiled the centerpiece of….
55 GnuCarSmell // Apr 19, 2007 at 6:34 am
The video reveals one self-pitying sicko. (I refuse to use his name. May it soon be forgotten).
Rather than gratitude for the opportunities this great land offered him, he chose a path of malignant class-envy and “revenge.”
56 Darthmeister // Apr 19, 2007 at 8:23 am
… and then blames us (society?, Christians?, Bush?) for making him do it, GnuCarSmell.
Of course this kind of reasoning really appeals to liberals. Liberals engage in such a huge disconnect (read: cognitive dissonance). On the one hand they will be, or pretend to be, revulsed by this murdering scumbag’s actions, and on the other they are drawn to his manifesto like moths to a flame. I didn’t think an individual could be more evil than Charles Manson or the Unabomber but Cho-scum proved many of us wrong.
There were more than enough warning signals but our non-confrontation/non-judgmental PC weenie culture couldn’t bring itself to commit this anarchist kook. Cho-scum should have been taken out of civil society two years ago … and thank goodness his own hands took him out of the gene pool.
57 Right Voices » Blog Archive » Edwards Campaigns on Universal Hair Care // Apr 19, 2007 at 9:54 am
[…] If Scott Ott reports it, it has got to be true: (2007-04-18) — Democrat presidential hopeful John Edwards today unveiled the centerpiece of his 2008 White House bid, a budget-neutral proposal to provide universal hair care to every American. […]
58 Right Wing Nation // Apr 19, 2007 at 10:46 am
[…] on Universal Hair Care Date Posted: Thursday, April 19th, 2007 by rightwingprof Categories: ‘08 Trackback URI(right-click) […]
59 Hawkeye // Apr 19, 2007 at 11:39 am
Hey Scott… ANOTHER classic! Whoopee!
(:D) Best regards…
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