(2007-04-04) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today declared 15 British sailors and marines, held hostage since March 23, to be “forgiven for their trespasses in the spirit of Easter.”
“If Jesus Christ could forgive those who nailed him to the cross,” said Mr. Ahmadinejad, “I can show mercy by granting pardon to these transgressors during the week we celebrate the death and resurrection of the Messiah.”
A spokesman for the Iranian leader played down rumors that Mr. Ahamdinejad may be the second coming of the Christ.
“He’s just a simple, gracious, wise and merciful leader,” said the unnamed spokesman. “and while the parallels between him and the Savior of the world are undeniable, Mr. Ahmadinejad is too humble to make such claims for himself.”
31 responses so far ↓
1 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 4, 2007 at 11:21 am
God Bless America
2 RedPepper // Apr 4, 2007 at 11:27 am
“May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won’t.”
- General George S. Patton Jr.
3 RedPepper // Apr 4, 2007 at 11:46 am
If you didn’t see this yesterday :
“Without confronting the ideological roots of radical Islam it will be impossible to combat it.”
“It is vital to grasp that traditional and even mainstream Islamic teaching accepts and promotes violence. Shariah, for example, allows apostates to be killed, permits beating women to discipline them, seeks to subjugate non-Muslims to Islam as dhimmis and justifies declaring war to do so. It exhorts good Muslims to exterminate the Jews before the “end of days.” The near deafening silence of the Muslim majority against these barbaric practices is evidence enough that there is something fundamentally wrong.”
The Trouble With Islam .
4 Ms RightWing, Ink // Apr 4, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Did they consult Mr. Peter Cottontail on this most serious matter
5 boberinyetagain // Apr 4, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Good stuff Scott
I though Kim on in NK was Christ, he sure is good at golf
Red, are you suggesting something by this?
Watch yourself, the other day I mentioned that a favorite passtime of folks in the ME was killing each other. I pointed out that they had been doing do for centuries and would likely continue for centuries to come with or w/o our army in the middle.
This was roundly agreed to be a prejudiced viewpoint, one beneath contempt, way out of “main stream” sensibilities, barbaric even (I still believe it just the same and am strangely unmoved by thier “passtime”) and the condemnation is still stinging my soul.
However, you pointing out that they believe in/live/practice violence on a base level seems, to the untrained eye, a suggestion of some sort. The logical conclusion would be to “kill em all and let God sort em out” but, if you had another idea that I’m missing, let’s hear it. It had better bo good.
Otherwise, prepare for the wrath of Scrappledom (which is not entierly unlike the “comfy chair” of Monty Python fame but both are to be feared, trust me on this)
6 onlineanalyst // Apr 4, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I’m afraid the Mr. Ahmadaboutjihad is living in a parallel universe. Those are about the only parallels I can fathom.
Ding, dong, dell
Twelfth imam’s in a well.
Who’ll pull him out?
Mamoud, mad mullahs shout!
7 woodnwheel // Apr 4, 2007 at 12:22 pm
RedPepper: Thanks so much for the OpinionJournal link. I totally missed it, but I can’t wait to read it now.
On the topic of Easter, check out this wonderful story in London’s Daily Mail:
“As part of its latest marketing campaign, a supermarket chain published a survey which showed many youngsters have no idea what Easter signifies.
“But, it seems the person who wrote Somerfield’s press release also struggles to understand exactly why we celebrate the religious festival.
“In an attempt to provide some historical background, the store claimed that the tradition of giving Easter eggs was to celebrate the ‘birth of Jesus’.
“When the report’s author realised her error, she quickly sent out a correction, claiming that Easter marks the ‘rebirth of Christ’. …
“What followed was a hasty consultation with the Church of England who politely pointed out that Easter actually symbolises the ‘resurrection’ of Jesus.
“Brando, the PR agency which produced the press release on behalf of Somerfield then issued a third version of the report - this time containing the correct meaning of Easter.”
8 Roguet55 // Apr 4, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Being somewhat pessimistic about the ME, I wonder at the high level [deleted] kissing in private that might have gone on?
We released some captured “Diplomats” in Iraq and here come the captives as an easter/Mohammed’s passing gift!
Who can enlighten us if there is a connection?
Good one Scott!
9 Fred Sinclair // Apr 4, 2007 at 12:58 pm
RedPepper - #3 “…permits beating women to dicipline them…” may be the basis of the old English law, the “Rule of Thumb” whereby it was illegal to beat your wife with a rod that exceeded the width of your thumb. (For which, I’m sure many a wife was thankful for such a compassionate law.)
Meanwhile I am praying earnestly fot the rulers in the ME as well as for our more noteworthy trolls here at SF. Especially that God would make Himself real to them.
Lastly is Mikey’s Bunny Funny today:
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit.
The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.
The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over.
She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
“I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter for the children because me. What should I do? ”
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do.
She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road.
Fifty yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road. Then in another 50 yards, he turned, waved hopped and did it again in another 50 yards!
The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what could possibly be in that woman’s spray can.
He said to the woman, “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?”
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
It said: “Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”
Heirborn Ranger
10 boberinyetagain // Apr 4, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Good one Fred.
Fear not, God is real enough to us.
The sticking point seems to be our versions willingness to kill potential enemys to make a point. The Old Testament version surely was but the New Testament version seems far less willing, even seems to discourage such ideas. Goes so far as to say such ideas might be counter productive.
Who knows which God to follow? I know which one I prefer.
11 boberinyetagain // Apr 4, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I am certain that if we had just bombed and/or invaded Iran when we were given the opportunity that those sailors would be having tea by the fire at home and a lasting ME peace would have been achieved by now.
A golden opportunity thus far missed. Drat!
12 gafisher // Apr 4, 2007 at 1:14 pm
The word “Easter” being a variation on the name of the original “bunnies-and-eggs” ‘goddess’ Ishtar, followers of her consort the Moon-god would actually be reasonably consistent in honoring the holiday.
13 antodav // Apr 4, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Once again, Boberin misses the point. Twice. First of all, what he said last week is NOT the same as what RedPepper said (which is really not appropriate either, but that’s a different matter). Islam is not a violent religion. It has a violent sect that interprets the Koran radically, but most of Islam is NOT violent. There are parts of the Bible where violence is promoted towards certain groups as well, and yet we do not label Christianity as a violent religion. Why not? Because most Christians are not violent. Drawing a distinction between radicals and moderates is very important when dealing with the Middle East. If we treat these people as culturally inferior savages, we’re never going to make any inroads there, and the violence, tyranny, and terrorism will continue.
Second of all, no one is under the impression that warring with Iran over these 15 sailors would have somehow led to peace in the Middle East. However, these people have put their lives on the line for their country-for their government to just turn their backs on them like this is completely disgraceful. What Iran has done is clearly an act of war. The British are simply too cowardly to do anything about it. They’ve become the same as the rest of Europe, and they deserve what they’ll get.
You know, America has definitely started to display its yellow streak in recent months. But at the very least I can be thankful that I don’t yet live in a country that is so cowardly that it won’t even rescue its own soldiers after they’ve been abducted by a hostile foreign power. That’s just disgraceful. Screw the British. I always said they couldn’t be counted on in the end, any more than the French could.
Note that this criticism does not apply to Tony Blair. Blair is, or was, a great and courageous man. But I think he is just crippled and has become a lame duck of sorts, much like President Bush is risking becoming now too. The Parliament has already forced him to set a date for his own departure-only he’s faced an insurrection within his own party, so he doesn’t even have them on his side. He knows that the British people wouldn’t support going to war against Iran, even under these ridiculous circumstances, with the war in Iraq still raging. His hands are tied by the force of popular rule. Democracy can be a real bitch sometimes when there’s something you need to get done and you can’t.
14 Darthmeister // Apr 4, 2007 at 1:41 pm
See, Ahmadaboutjihad is a reasonable and merciful man. He even begged the British government not to interrogate or punish the British Marines for “telling the truth” about the evil Blair government’s attempt to secretly invade Iran.
15 antodav // Apr 4, 2007 at 1:55 pm
He even begged the British government not to interrogate or punish the British Marines for “telling the truth” about the evil Blair government’s attempt to secretly invade Iran.
LOL, secretly invade Iran with 15 sailors. What, were they all genetically engineered supermen? The Power Rangers, perhaps?
16 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 4, 2007 at 2:38 pm
OT and/or NT; same God, different circumstances.
17 conserve-a-tips // Apr 4, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Fred, that was really bad. It was more funny because I had just gotten this photo in an email, telling why Easter was cancelled.
Boberain, I offer a thought to you. We know that God’s ultimate desire is that man be reconciled to Him through Christ, giving every human being a chance, over and over again, to make that choice. We know that there are men who do make a conscious choice to embrace evil and we also know that God, being perfect and just, cannot and will not tolerate evil. We know that He does not compromise with evil and that He doesn’t appease evil. And so, did it ever occur to you that when men like Hitler or Saddam Hussein or Bin Laden or any number of other insurgents/terrorists embrace evil without looking back and set out to destroy other humans, thereby taking away any chance those humans have of reconciling with God through Christ, that God say’s enough and uses other countries and other men to take them out? God is Love, but He is also Judgement and He says that evil does not prevail. We all want everybody to be happy and to get along, but the fact is that evil does exist and God sees that it is dealt with. I remind you that scripture promises that “The wages of sin is death” and no matter how you slice it, God’s judgement is a reality for all of us because He loves us.
18 Fred Sinclair // Apr 4, 2007 at 5:02 pm
With the Supremes deciding that CO2 is a pollutant, and with a potential on exhaling being taxed to include tax on the exhaling of our pets, cattle and horses, I wonder how long before the EPA imposes a tax on the CO2 cartridges used in mixing drinks, propelling bbs and pellets from gas powered air guns. Followed by a tax credit for each tree on your property. I can envision requests for variances from cities to allow for planting of hundreds of trees on residential properties.
House in the suburbs surrounded by 500 trees on a 1/4 acre plot and you’ll have to become another Dan’l Boone or Davy Crockett to even find your own front door. Should make for a field day for The Boy Scouts of America’s membership drives.
Ain’t Algore sumptin spechul????
Heirborn Ranger
19 Darthmeister // Apr 4, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Official statement from the Reform Party of Syria:
As a Muslim, I fully understand respect of our religion by visiting US officials and I applaud that respect. Had Speaker Pelosi worn the Hijab inside a Mosque, this would have indicated respect but for Pelosi to wear it on the streets of Damascus all the while she is sitting with the self-imposed Baschar al-Assad who has come to symbolize oppression and one of the reasons why women are forced to wear the Hijab as they turn to religion to express their freedom is a statement of submittal not only to oppression but also to lack of women’s rights in the Middle East. Pelosi just reversed the work of the Syrian civil society and those who aspire for women’s freedom in the Muslim countries many years back with her visual statement. Her lack of experience of the Middle East is showing.
Assad could not have been happier because Syrian women, seeing a US official confirming what their husbands, the Imams in the Mosques tell them, and the society at large imposes on them through peer pressure will see in her wearing a Hijab as a confirmation of the societal pressures they are constantly under. No one will ever know how many women took the Hijab on after seeing Pelosi wearing it. The damage Speaker Pelosi is causing with her visit to Syria will be felt for many years to come.
20 woodnwheel // Apr 4, 2007 at 5:28 pm
conserve-a-tips: Great photo! Still reading through the rest of your post and the ones that follow, but I wanted to at least get that out there.
21 conserve-a-tips // Apr 4, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Referring back to the previous article, it has come to light that Republicans have been after Mars too. Those evil, selfish, gas-guzzling conservatives.
22 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 4, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Here’s how al-Pelosi showed her diplomatic expertise. I hope she enjoys broadcasting to the world that she is an utterly incompetent fool.
23 Hawkeye // Apr 4, 2007 at 8:58 pm
Fred #9,
I think that would be “Hare Spray”.
(:D) Regards…
24 debass // Apr 4, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Maybe it was the springtime migration of aircraft carriers that made Mahmoud have a change of heart. They do give me that warm cozy feeling.
25 JamesonLewis3rd // Apr 4, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Fred Thompson wrote a cool letter a couple of days ago.
26 Hawkeye // Apr 4, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Who ate my post?
Fred #9,
I think that would be “Hare Spray”.
(:D) Regards…
27 Hawkeye // Apr 4, 2007 at 9:14 pm
OOPS! There it is.
28 meesterbig // Apr 4, 2007 at 9:41 pm
MSM Alert!
In a final nose-thumbing at President Bush, it is now being reported that the 15 British sailors have decided to defect and stay in Iran and become naturalized citizens.
Apparently President MymoodI’minajihad has convinced them, with their pardons, that they will receive their 72 virgins through him in Iran long before they ever will in Great Britain.
Who would want to wait any longer than they have to, anyway?
29 meesterbig // Apr 4, 2007 at 9:43 pm
MSM Alert!
In a final nose-thumbing at President Bush, it is now being reported that the 15 British sailors have decided to defect and stay in Iran and become naturalized citizens.
Apparently President MymoodI’minajihad has convinced them, with their pardons, that they will receive their 72 virgins through him in Iran long before they ever will in Great Britain.
Who can blame them, would you want to wait any longer than you had to?
30 RedPepper // Apr 4, 2007 at 10:41 pm
antodav#13: “Islam is not a violent religion. It has a violent sect that interprets the Koran radically, but most of Islam is NOT violent.”
antodav, I wish that was so ; regrettably, there is a great deal of evidence to the contrary. One (recent) example would be the “cartoon jihad”; another would be the reaction to Pope Benedict XVI over his remarks about Islam. If you wish, I’ll provide links ; by all means, please cite any evidence you wish to back up your assertion. I don’t mean to imply that all Muslims are per se violent, or “savages”; I have mentioned several, in previous comments here at Scrappleface, who I regard as admirable, among them Ahmad Shah Massoud, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Irshad Manji and others. But the fact that they are admirable people does not make Islam admirable; nor do frequent assertions that Islam is “the Religion of Peace” make it peaceful.
Let me mention one other instance in conclusion. A little over a year ago, in Afghanistan, there was the case of one Abdul Rahman, a Muslim who had secretly converted to Christianity. A small problem : under sharia, apostasy from Islam is a capital offense. Last I heard, he had fled Afghanistan and sought refuge in Italy.
31 antodav // Apr 5, 2007 at 11:23 am
This post is coming a day late, so I doubt anyone will read it, but…
Without question, there are a large number of Muslims-maybe 10%-who either support the actions of violent radicals or have actually committed those actions themselves. Yes, the outcry over the cartoons was an example of these groups acting out, and yes, the situation in Afghanistan that you mentioned was shameful and shows that that country still has a long way to go before it completely sheds the legacy of the Taliban. However, I don’t believe that the majority of Muslims support these actions. Even if Islamic law-and I have never read the Koran, so I won’t speak on behalf of Muslims too much here-does condone such activities, the line between moderate and radical Muslims is drawn between those who take the Koran literally and interpret it to justify acts of violence, and those who do not take it literally and apply a more moderate interpretation to it.
Religions by themselves are merely harmless philosophies by which certain people choose to live their lives; they are neither violent nor benign. Religious followers, on the other hand, can and do sometimes commit acts of violence in the name of God, and perhaps certain verses of the Koran do provide them with justification for their actions, I don’t know. I know that certain verses of the Bible could potentially provide justification for radical Christians to commit terrorist actions too if they so desired; they are less prone to do so however on account of various economic and social factors of the societies they live in, not religious factors.
Religions can only be judged by the morality of those who follow them. Radical Muslims may get all the media attention, but the peace-loving Muslims are still a silent majority. They are forced to be silent in many cases because the societies they live in are often controlled by the radicals, who are not as tolerant of free expression and dissent as we here in the West are. But I’ve known Muslims too who are peaceful and despise terrorism and recognize the fact that their religion has been hyjacked. Maybe it’s just doe-eyed optimism, but I choose to believe that these people make up the majority of the followers of Islam-and if we help to bring peace, prosperity, and justice to the Middle East by fighting against brutal terrorist-sponsoring dictatorships in that region, I believe we will see their numbers grow. It won’t be quick or easy, but I do believe it can happen eventually.
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