(2006-12-07) — Iran already has the N-bomb, according to an unnamed European diplomat, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has approved a plan to begin deploying it at comedy clubs in the United States.
The CIA is investigating allegations that former comedians Michael Richards (Kramer on Seinfeld) and Andy Dick (that guy on the 1990s sitcom NewsRadio), may have connections to the Iranian regime.
“The N-bomb poses a particular danger because you don’t even need a briefcase to hide it,” said one unnamed CIA source. “It’s so small that you can conceal it in the human heart, and it won’t show up on x-rays.”
Experts say its the perfect terror tool because American reaction to the use of the N-bomb, exceeds their fear and outrage over suicide bombers, or al Qaeda’s plan to rule the world from Baghdad.
President Ahmadinejad has denied Iran is developing such a weapon, but has also called for the destruction of American establishments “where customers drink disorienting beverages and pay to giggle at adults saying naughty words.”
43 responses so far ↓
1 Scott Ott // Dec 7, 2006 at 7:59 am
Iran to Deploy N-Bomb at U.S. Comedy Clubs…
by Scott Ott(2006-12-07) — Iran already has the N-bomb, according to an unnamed European diplomat, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has approved a plan to begin deploying it at comedy clubs in the United States.The CIA is investigating allegations…..
2 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:00 am
God Bless America
3 RedPepper // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:02 am
God Bless America .
4 RedPepper // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:03 am
Remember Pearl Harbor !
5 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:03 am
Yes, Political Correctness is far more important than defeating the terrorist infrastructure and the sooner we realize that, the better.
6 Hawkeye // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:16 am
Can you just imagine how bad Pearl Harbor might have been if the Japanese had the N-bomb? …scary stuff!
7 Hawkeye // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:17 am
“It’s so small that you can conceal it in the human heart, and it won’t show up on x-rays.”
Excellent line Sir Scott.
Regards…
8 Anonymous // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:40 am
Funny and thought provoking as usual Scott,sir!
Take the time to thank a Vet today, I wish my Grandfather who served in the Pacific was still here to be thanked.
Back in those days the N-Bomb was slang for people of Nippon. Some people dropped the J-Bomb also.
-Libby
9 Maggie // Dec 7, 2006 at 8:58 am
Hawkeye #6
Japan didn’t have tha N-bomb but they certainly felt the sting of the A-BOMB.
10 gafisher // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:03 am
Jesse Jackson is proposing a Civility Defense program, to be headquartered in a place he called Hymietown.
11 camojack // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:15 am
Neutron bomb?
12 puzzletop // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:21 am
Americans just have to know that their priorities have to be right when it comes to being politically correct. Why think of how uncivilized the world would be if we were not so concerned about offending people in nyuk nyuk clubs where people get to blaspheme the Lord all the time. The HORROR!
13 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:23 am
The N-bomb? I know the B-bomb stands for beets, C-bomb is cabbage bomb, which strikes twice. The BS-bomb is brussel sprouts bomb, so I am now trying to figure out the N-bomb because if the terrorist have it, I don’t want to eat it, smell it of worse yet be served it in a restaurant.
PS-I know what the N-bomb is because I told a funny joke about the KKK that had the N-bomb in it. The joke was told to me by a black friend, but when I told it, well, the suits at the Goberment housing I live in came a knocking at my door. A person of color who heard the joke wanted to be offended so I was told to straighten up or fly away. geedh
14 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:29 am
And another thought. After we suffer a controlled loss, will we go and fight a politically correct war in Africa. I think the liberals would like it if we went and killed all the starving people over there so the AIDS victims would have more capital to survive.
15 Maggie // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:36 am
Ms Righty….. You are a Hoot….:>)
16 California Conservative » Iran to Deploy N-Bomb at U.S. Comedy Clubs // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:11 am
[…] Filed Under: Humor, Culture, Iran Scott Ott’s latest satire from the frontlines: […]
17 Rock Slatestone // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:24 am
God Already Blessed America, may we be a blessing instead
18 Darthmeister // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:34 am
So am I suppose to be offended when I’m called a “white devil” or a cracker?
19 mig // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:44 am
Kramer apoligized to much. Now he is really gonna get it. Grovelling like that he’ll get kicked in the teeth. Which reminds me of the liberal American and the Irannian President. Grovel. Grovel. Kick. Kick. Bash. Bash.
20 From the Mind of Splittfinger : Iran to use the N-Bomb! // Dec 7, 2006 at 11:06 am
[…] Iran to use the N-Bomb! Sorry, i couldn’t pass this one up: Hat Tip: CaliforniaConservative Iran to Deploy N-Bomb at U.S. Comedy Clubs Scott Ott’s latest satire from the frontlines: (2006-12-07) — Iran already has the N-bomb, according to an unnamed European diplomat, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has approved a plan to begin deploying it at comedy clubs in the United States. The CIA is investigating allegations that former comedians Michael Richards (Kramer on Seinfeld) and Andy *** (that guy on the 1990s sitcom NewsRadio), may have connections to the Iranian regime. “The N-bomb poses a particular danger because you don’t even need a briefcase to hide it,” said one unnamed CIA source. “It’s so small that you can conceal it in the human heart, and it won’t show up on x-rays.” Experts say its the perfect terror tool because American reaction to the use of the N-bomb, exceeds their fear and outrage over suicide bombers, or al Qaeda’s plan to rule the world from Baghdad. President Ahmadinejad has denied Iran is developing such a weapon, but has also called for the destruction of American establishments “where customers drink disorienting beverages and pay to giggle at adults saying naughty words.” Published Thursday, December 07, 2006 9:04 AM by Splittfinger […]
21 conserve-a-tips // Dec 7, 2006 at 11:09 am
Ms Rightwing, Ink, you should have had your friend come tell the “suits” the joke and see what they would have said!!
Oh, and the N-bomb? I heard that it is Noodles and I can’t figure out the big stink - unless they intend to thrash the comics with a wet one. Tha-thump.
22 RedPepper // Dec 7, 2006 at 11:46 am
#18 Darthmeister: Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words will never hurt me …
On the other hand, Dr. Kamau Kambon would like to exterminate you … (presumably with extreme prejudice … )
23 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 7, 2006 at 11:56 am
Maggie
H-bomb==hoot bomb. Maybe therefore I’m da bomb. Eeeh, likely not
conserve-a-tips
Ha! I went that route. Now that would have ended it-right. Nah, instead I was told that I was making for an uncomfortable living situation. Boy, if they only knew what the mentals, Christian haters and liberals have called me. But, I am not a liberal whiner
24 Hawkeye // Dec 7, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I think Michael Richards and Andy Dick “bombed”… or, maybe they were bombed. I’m confused.
25 RedPepper // Dec 7, 2006 at 1:10 pm
One of the founders of Sunni Islam’s four schools of jurisprudence, the highly respected Ibn Hanbal, forbade himself from eating watermelons because he found no evidence that Mohammad ever ate one.
What Would Mohammad Do ?
I find this author quite interesting. In fact, I may start intentionally searching out his columns. Here is a link to another recent piece by him : from the L. A. Times , yet !
26 Darthmeister // Dec 7, 2006 at 1:19 pm
RedPepper,
I think I passed around the videolink from YouTube.com of this kook …
In fact I just found it here. This guy is totally serious. If this had been a white man spewing this kind of filth you know he would have been arrested for a hate crime. Double standards are alive and well in America.
27 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 7, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Wow.
Suddenly I am feeling, like, suicidal, brutha-man.
28 conserve-a-tips // Dec 7, 2006 at 3:11 pm
One of the founders of Sunni Islam’s four schools of jurisprudence, the highly respected Ibn Hanbal, forbade himself from eating watermelons because he found no evidence that Mohammad ever ate one.
Unfortunately, some Christians are guilty of this type of thinking as well. The “be silent where the Bible is silent” crowd forbids certain things in the worship service or for people to do because the New Testament doesn’t address the issue directly. Musical instruments, steeples and signs come to mind….but then those same churches have central heat and air conditioning and electrical lighting and telephones, fax machines, computers….and on and on.
29 RedPepper // Dec 7, 2006 at 4:41 pm
#28 c-a-t: This type of thinking is indeed wide-spread ; but, in the case of Islam, there are aspects of Mohammad’s life that make particularly unfortunate examples for his followers.
One is Mohammed’s marraige to Aisha.
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 65
Narrated Aisha :
… the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old. Hisham said: I have been informed that Aisha remained with the Prophet for nine years (i.e. till his death).
You can read more here :
http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina/ayesha.htm
The marraige of children is wide-spread in some portions of the Islamic world ; and other Muslim leaders followed their Prophet’s example, including the Ayatollah Khomeini, who married a ten-year-old (if memory serves me).
30 RedPepper // Dec 7, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Hmmm.
Marriage, not my mis-spelling above.
Also, concerning the Ayatollah :
Was the woman who carried Khomeini’s image in the Dearborn demonstration concerned about the human rights of women? Did she know that the Ayatollah himself married a ten-year-old girl when he was twenty-eight? Did she know that Khomeini called marriage to a girl before her first menstrual period “a divine blessing,” and advised the faithful: “Do your best to ensure that your daughters do not see their first blood in your house”?
(my emphasis)
Rest of article here :
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=15983
31 GnuCarSmell // Dec 7, 2006 at 5:39 pm
I don’t know why Richards didn’t take the “botched joke” defense — you know, just blame the whole thing on the “Republican smear machine who took me out of context” and bite his lip in righteous indignation. Oh, the injustice of it all!
32 Anonymous // Dec 7, 2006 at 7:56 pm
Funny article, and so true it hurts.
33 onlineanalyst // Dec 7, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Iran has secured Robert Byrd as a WMD? Did he agree because when he heard the word “Shi’ites,” Byrd thought they said “Sheets”.
34 conserve-a-tips // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:00 pm
RedPepper, I did not know that about the Ayatollah. Oh my that makes me sick. These people are nuts. I knew that already, but I just have to say it again. How evil.
GnuCarSmell: He could have used Kerry’s defense, only backwards, “I botched the joke. I inadvertently left in a word.
35 conserve-a-tips // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Ooops. Left off the closing quotation marks..
36 Effeminem // Dec 7, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Ms. RW, was it the one with the two homosexuals, the magic lamp, and the KKK? I
37 Ms RightWing, Ink // Dec 8, 2006 at 12:44 am
Effeminem
No, it was about the airplane that was carrying to much weight and someone had to get off the plane.
38 Fred Sinclair // Dec 8, 2006 at 2:24 am
Small enough to hide in your heart? Libbers must love the N(Nice) Bomb, because it will convince the terrorists to “be nice” once they have experienced it, They will want to sit down (nicely) and assist us in establishing a “nice” democratic givernment in Iraq.
With their “niceness” established, they will insist on “nicely” accepting Israel as their “nice” neighbors. Using their vast oil reserves, they will, of course insist on giving Israel trillions of dinars to partially atone for their former “not-niceness.” Yep, this N(nice) Bomb is what the Libbers have been seeking all along.
Once the sweet nectar of niceness covers the world, we can all live together in our “niceness and sing “Kumbayah” and “Ain’t Agonna Study War No More”
Just a great “Nice” one world government to replace all of those former evil empires (like America) Ain’t it Agonna be fun?
Heirborn Ranger
39 Effeminem // Dec 8, 2006 at 2:40 am
Apparently the commenting machine doesn’t like me to use angle brackets.
40 JamesonLewis3rd // Dec 8, 2006 at 5:05 am
Here’s an interesting perspective.
41 Cricket // Dec 8, 2006 at 5:51 am
Then there is Phrance that names streets in Gay Paree after convicted cop killers…Do not forget Officer Faulkner who was killed in Philadelphia 25 years ago today by a member of the religion of peace.
42 mig // Dec 8, 2006 at 10:27 am
#25-
There is no evidence that Mohammed lived in 2006, what’s a sunni to do?
43 bystander // Dec 9, 2006 at 12:04 pm
“The failure to pass budget bills for domestic agencies, said Rep. David Obey, D-Wis., amounted to “a blatant admission of abject failure by the most useless Congress in modern times.”
I don’t see this as a partisan view. I think both parties are equally responsible for this overall failure !
This congress has been more dangerous then Iran for its failure to act responsibly and in the best interest of ‘all Americans’.
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