(2006-10-18) — In a proactive move designed to “shock and awe” North Korean President Kim Jong-Il, the United Nations Security Council today deployed a preemptive resolution condemning that nation’s upcoming second nuclear weapons test.
“You can’t wait until you see a mushroom cloud over Tokyo or Los Angeles before you take decisive action,” said one unnamed council member. “You need to get the right words on paper, and get all the Council members to agree on them in advance to anticipate a nuclear test or attack.”
The new resolution levies “severe sanctions” on North Korea, including potential loss of executive washroom privileges for the North Korean ambassador to the U.N., and limits to previously-bottomless beverages at U.N. dining facilities.
Although the preemptive resolution garnered a 15-0 vote at the Council, the Chinese ambassador said he might allow his North Korean colleague to use his washroom key in an emergency.
China also blocked language in the measure that would have restricted North Korean access to certain items at the “all you can eat” U.N. buffet.
18 responses so far ↓
1 camojack // Oct 18, 2006 at 6:45 am
Be it hereby resolved…
2 camojack // Oct 18, 2006 at 6:47 am
…that I’m going to post something N. Korea-related on my very own blog.
3 Bill's Bites // Oct 18, 2006 at 6:48 am
UN Hits N. Korea with Preemptive Resolution
(2006-10-18) — In a proactive move designed to “shock and awe†North Korean President Kim Jong-Il, the United Nations Security Council today deployed a preemptive resolution condemning that nation’s upcoming second nuclear weapons test. “You c…
4 MargeinMI // Oct 18, 2006 at 7:32 am
What a show of compassion to limit his bottomless beverages after revoking the washroom privilages! ;oD
5 Darthmeister // Oct 18, 2006 at 7:34 am
The world is now safe …
6 Sandy Burglar // Oct 18, 2006 at 7:45 am
In related news, the Iranian ambassador was caught passing notes during open session at the UN. When asked if he would like to read the note to the rest of the class, he declined comment but the note was later found to be a plea to the Russian and Chinese representatives to quote: “sneak food out of the buffet for me when I also come out with a holy nuke for the destruction of the blood-sucking axis of anglo-american imperialist cluster-bombing baby-killers.”
7 Ms RightWing, Ink // Oct 18, 2006 at 8:39 am
Okay, I hit the reload button twice and never got the update, sigh, I wasted all my energy on a dead page.
Well, one war you will never see in Korea is a food fight.
8 Darthmeister // Oct 18, 2006 at 9:17 am
Gorbachev compares proposed U.S. border wall to Berlin Wall…
Moron, the U.S. border wall will keep illegals out, your Berlin Wall kept people in like cattle. Gorbachev must be a liberal to be that stupid.
106 mph wind gust in Tennessee!
Are Kerry, Pelosi and Hillary visiting the state? Blowhards.
Dem Chair Dean To Take Out Loan For Senate Races…
I guess Dean is using Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile to secure those loans, eh? Checks-into-cash anyone? Pathetic Democrats.
Carter Blames Bush For Crisis…
CYA Jimmah? Feelin’ some heat? Who helped broker the deal in 1995, sir?
9 Darthmeister // Oct 18, 2006 at 9:20 am
Well, one war you will never see in Korea is a food fight.
Buwhahahahahahaha! Starvation is rarely funny but to see a tin-plated leftist dictator repeating the mistakes of leftists in the past is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. One is fascinated by the mindless horror of the whole thing and Kim Jong Mentally Il doesn’t seem to mind taking other nations down with him.
10 Just Ranting // Oct 18, 2006 at 9:23 am
No more dog wings for you!!!
11 gafisher // Oct 18, 2006 at 9:34 am
Activating North Korea’s anti-missive defense system, Pyongyang has been surrounded by a Christo-designed ring of orange banners bearing a theme which translates, roughly, as “Sticks and stones can break my bones *BUT* . . .”
12 camojack // Oct 18, 2006 at 10:21 am
…I’m going to post something N. Korea-related on my very own blog.
Comment by camojack — October 18, 2006 @ 6:47 am
OK, as promised:
Have a blast!!!
13 MichaelC // Oct 18, 2006 at 10:23 am
I used to like ScrappleFace, but now that you’re making fun of people who are bad at math, I’ve done a 360.
14 GnuCarSmell // Oct 18, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Darth #8 - “Gorbachev compares proposed U.S. border wall to Berlin Wall….”
That reminds me of a recent visit to a home that suffered from truly hideous decorating. I kept hearing Ronald Reagan’s voice in my head: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wallpaper!”
15 Darthmeister // Oct 18, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Working in a coal mine is almost as dangerous as being a stray dog in North Korea.
16 Darthmeister // Oct 18, 2006 at 4:33 pm
A 360? Buwhahahaha … I always love that one when I hear it.
Yogi Berra once said, “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.” When he was asked into how many pieces he wanted his pizza cut, he said: “Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.”
17 bystander // Oct 19, 2006 at 9:05 pm
In a previous discussion voter fraud was brought up.
Anyone heard of this one:
“The phrase “loaves and fishes vote count” was coined to describe the tally in Gahanna, Ohio, 2004. This infamous precinct in suburban Columbus registered 4258 votes for George W. Bush where just 638 people voted. The blessed event occurred at a fundamentalist church run by a close ally of the Reverend Jerry Falwell.”
Courtesy of: http://www.whatreallyhappened.com
18 Pros and Cons » I’m sorry, so sorry he says. See, there’s no need to fear anything. It’s all Rovian distraction! // Oct 20, 2006 at 2:50 pm
[...] What is there to be scared about? Kim Jong Il is very sorry, and he will do what we want, after we accede to all of his demands first. [The U.N. must be scaring him.] The Democrats have been very public about wanting to do just that. We don’t need China’s prestige on the line to such an extent that it cuts of financial transfers to Pyongyang. We need direct talks, and cut out the bit players, like South Korea (that worked so well in South Vietnam, after all, why give the people whose future is being decided a say?), Japan (why involve the nuclear capable second largest country on earth, China (sure, their economy is only as large as our government spending, and it’s not like they matter militarily in northeast Asia or have real nuclear striking power). What a great idea. Casting aspersion upon such a wise policy is clearly fear-mongering. It’s not like multi-lateralism up there was working. (Hat tip Basil.) [...]
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