(2006-09-15) — Just a day after the Senate Armed Services committee rebuffed the Bush administration’s efforts to allow aggressive interrogation techniques on captured terror suspects, a spokesman for al Qaeda praised the committee’s 15-9 vote and said it would, in turn, make its prisoner treatment protocols more humane.
“We were inspired by the humanitarianinfidels in the Senate to update our own procedures,” said the unnamed al Qaeda spokesman in an audiotape released through Al Jazeera’s CNN news division. “We have approved a three-step plan aimed at improving our humanitarian image around the world.”
According to the source, al Qaeda has already issued the following new guidelines to its terror cells worldwide via overnight donkey courier:
1) Avoid taking prisoners.
2) Use a sharp sword and a brisk side-to-side motion.
3) Grant a speedy trial after beheading.
Republican Senators John McCain of Arizona, John Warner of Virginia and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, who spearheaded the effort to block the president’s proposal, welcomed the al Qaeda announcement as “a positive and hopeful step toward full moral equivalency between the warring superpowers.”
29 responses so far ↓
1 camojack // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:04 am
Those Al Qaeda types remind me a lot of Dumb-ocrats…as do the “RINO” types you mentioned.
2 Maggie // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:24 am
Good morning Scrapplers,
Is peace the new terror?
JL3rd…..Although a shallow victory,I posted ahead of you. (I also lack a life)……lol
3 Ms RightWing, Ink // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:25 am
Has anybody ever checked the ingredients list on the cans of Purina Dog Chow lately?
What does assorted meat products derived from mid eastern countries and liberal American establishments mean?
4 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:30 am
RE: #2~~
Maggie~~
Somehow, I had a feeling I was moving too slow…..
LOL
5 Libby Gone // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:33 am
Full moral equivalency?
Uh Yea. Ok what he said.
(*&^%#!%^$!!!!!!!)
6 hwy93 // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:33 am
Morning All, Being a proud resident of SC, please let me be the first to apologize for the existence of a “senator” Lindsey Graham. We’re trying real hard to turn him into “Mr.” Lindsey Graham.
7 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:39 am
The oft-repeated (say it enough times and it becomes truth) charge that President Bush wants to “rewrite” Article Three of the Geneva Conventions is completely false.
One of the ridiculous interpretations I’ve heard of that Article, for example, would be that prisoners should not have to share a toilet. I mean, c’mon…..
He simply wants clarification of its ultra-vague/ambiguous language-simple as that.
8 mig // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:41 am
Senate is the new French Elite. I can’t believe that they blame Bush for EVERYTHING and yet hinder every move he makes. Who is in Charge?
Al Jazzerra CNN division. Heh heh. Now that ones funny in a couple of ways. Al Jazzerra on the same page with CNN (Counting No New-stories) and then CNN are Queens of News Division. Cutting up truthful news into little tiny (unidentifiable) pieces that get caught between Democrat/muslim fanatics teeth and regurgitated.
Gnash Gnash Knaw Knaw. Get that funky Islamabad beat.
9 Fred Sinclair // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:42 am
“Dirty Word, Dirty Word [Expletive deleted]” Where’s Dirty Harry, when you need him?
Fred Sinclair, Heirborn Ranger
10 mig // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:49 am
Send them to Iraqi prisons and listen to them beg to be back with the Americans.
11 Maggie // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:49 am
hwy93
It is so good to see you posting again.
BTW……has anybody heard from ‘boberin’ lately?
Also a shout out to ‘New York Joe’ and my friend “Bad Andy’.
12 mig // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:50 am
Off to the school cafeteria for volunteer hours… see youse later.
13 Just Ranting // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:53 am
Ms RW re:3
Sounds like Solient Green. Tastes like chicken.
14 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 15, 2006 at 9:56 am
I found it interesting to learn that 60% of the UN’s current member states are also members of the Non-Aligned Movement the leaders of which are congregating in Cuba right now.
It appears from their rhetoric that the only thing they are “non-aligned” against is the West, particularly the USA.
Gee, I hope nobody trips and accidently falls against a button that sends a thunderstorm of ICBMs raining down on the gilt Palace where they’re all busy putting hickies on Castro’s bee-hind.
15 JamesonLewis3rd // Sep 15, 2006 at 10:01 am
RE: #14~~
Sorry about the graphic, digusting, uncalled-for mental image.
I just gave my own self the creeps as I read it.
16 Maggie // Sep 15, 2006 at 10:30 am
JL3rd……I thought it was hilarious.
(just goes to show ya)
17 hwy93 // Sep 15, 2006 at 10:49 am
Hello Maggie, I’ve been lurking so I could keep up with everyone, but works been crazy. The Wedding is set for March 31, 07 and me and the soon to be Mrs. are finally taking the plunge.
18 upnorthlurkin // Sep 15, 2006 at 11:08 am
EEEEEWWWWW! Hickies! I remember when those were cool! Ick. Only the bad guys and gals displayed them with pride when I was a “kid”! I’ve always been too ticklish to be on the receiving end…..that and I was a good girl (boring, bookworms they called us!). Thanks for the memories, JL3!
19 GnuCarSmell // Sep 15, 2006 at 11:27 am
If Colin Powell is for it, you know it’s bad. He is turning out to be a just another America-basher, á la Jimmy Carter. Let’s hope his political career is finished.
20 nylecoj // Sep 15, 2006 at 11:28 am
“Moral equivalency” as one of my sisters just pointed out while we were watching the President…..panties on the head, chop off the head…..what do people not get about that?
21 upnorthlurkin // Sep 15, 2006 at 11:39 am
Psssssstttt…today is Mig’s birthday!! Anyone needing her email address can contact me! I don’t dare reveal her age as I believe that’s private…but, if you took a dozen and multiplied it by three and added nine, you’d be close!! (Ducking and running!)
22 nylecoj // Sep 15, 2006 at 12:04 pm
So she’s just a kid!
23 MF in FL // Sep 15, 2006 at 12:27 pm
The Chief Rino and his South Carolina Lackey in Waiting wanted to add another article to the bill:
“US troops must wear red jackets and march in a straight line”
Fortunately, the above tactic was once used before in history and the two A-Holes didn’t want to seem redundant.
24 Darthmeister // Sep 15, 2006 at 12:44 pm
al Qaeda spokesman: Okay, okay, we’ll drop the beheadings and dismemberments but we’ll still use mutilations and forced conversions. You okay with that now?
From the New York Post. Investigative reporter Richard Miniter makes this observation after visiting detainee facilities: Treating Islamofascists with kindness has had an opposite effect on detainees in American prisoners. They are little better than killing machines. Should have killed them on the battlefield if we were going to end up giving them the kid-glove treatment.
25 da Bunny // Sep 15, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Funny thing about RINO McCain and RINO Graham…these two aren’t smart enough to understand that their “moderate” b.s. appeals to NO ONE with half a brain! If they’re thinking Prez and/or Veep nominations in ‘08, they’re sorely misguided. The conservative Republican base will NOT be voting for them in the primaries [a true conservative would NOT vote "RINO"], nor would any dimbulbs be crossing party lines to vote for them in a general election, since they’d already be voting for the “democrats” in their OWN party!!
26 MF in FL // Sep 15, 2006 at 3:00 pm
RE #6
We are hoping to relocate to SC soon. I hope I get there in time to help you send Lindsey Graham back to the “plantation”.
27 The Great Santini // Sep 15, 2006 at 4:52 pm
The posturing of Three Blind RINOs about jihadis’ “rights” pales before their false concerns about possible convictions obtained by resort to “secret evidence”.
READ THE BILL, dolts! [Scrapplers may click on the "infidels" link in this post, which takes you to a Wizbang post. Click on the Andrew McCarthy link in that post and read Mr. McCarthy's NRO Corner piece, a thorough fisking of the Three Blind RINOs' objections to the Bush bill. Within that post, click on the "section 939(e)" link, which accesses the bill. Scroll down to p. 31, line 20, and read through p. 35, line 2.]
In summary:
Upon a sufficient showing by the prosecution that proffered evidence may divulge the details of intelligence operations which would endanger national security, the accused may be removed from the courtroom and such evidence presented to the tribunal in his absence. So Mohammed won’t be able to rat out the details of these operations to his fellow thugs.
But the accused’s military lawyer—to whom the accused is guaranteed access by the bill—or the accused’s civilian lawyer who can obtain a security clearance equal to that of the accused’s military lawyer, or both shall have access to that evidence. That means they can assess, plan, and handle the accused’s defense in light of such evidence, which will have been fully disclosed to them.
Leaving aside all the other meritless objections these preening RINO jerks have raised to the Bush bill, their assertion that convictions may be obtained via “secret evidence” is an outright lie. It’s time for Frist to employ some adroit parliamentary maneuvers—he has several—to hang these Judases out to dry.
28 Pros and Cons » The truth about coercive interrogation, including water boarding. // Sep 21, 2006 at 9:25 am
[...] Scott Ott has more on the subject here and here. There’s something about good comedy like his, as opposed to mere satire (which can be more corrosive than enlightening) that can reveal essential truths. That’s especially true with subjects like “torture” and torture that are freighted with taboos, often for good reasons. It cuts through the mental chaff that impedes clear thinking. [...]
29 Al Qaeda Follows Senate Lead on Humane Treatment | ZardozZ News and Reviews // Mar 26, 2011 at 5:42 pm
[...] recent discussions in Congress related to prisoner treatment and adherence to the Geneva convention.ScrappleFace:(2006-09-15) — Just a day after the Senate Armed Services committee rebuffed the Bush [...]
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