Brad Pitt to Marry Jolie When Everyone Can
(2006-09-09) — Film actor Brad Pitt today called on Congress to pass a Constitutional marriage amendment permitting any U.S. citizen to legally marry his girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.
The announcement comes a day after it was revealed that Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie will refrain from matrimony until such a legal status is available to anyone in any kind of relationship.
“I will consider tying the knot with Angie when everyone else in the country who wants to be married to anyone, including to Angie, is legally able,” the 42-year-old actor said. “Angie and I are average folks who only do things that everyone else can do. Since fornication and cohabitation are legally available to the common people, that’s what we’re doing.”
The couple has also decided to turn down multi-million dollar film deals “until the average American can also get them without discrimination on the basis of ability or commitment to the acting profession.”
So they aren’t getting married until everyone can…I wonder..do they mean until a 30-year old guy can marry a 9-year old girl or are they talking about homos?
Comment by redlenses — September 9, 2006 @ 9:12 am
I got an old mule out back that is hankerin’ to married up. Any takers back thar in Hollerwood
Aunt Sarah
Comment by Ms RightWing, Ink — September 9, 2006 @ 9:17 am
Aunt Sarah,
If one o’ them Hollerwood actresses was to marry that ol’ mule, they would be “marryin’ up”…
Comment by Beerme — September 9, 2006 @ 9:31 am
Senate Intelligence Report Finds No Connection
by Scott Ott
(2006-09-09) — Just a day after the Senate Intelligence committee released a report finding no pre-war connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda, aides said unpublished findings of the committee’s probe also indicate no verfiable link between the senate and intelligence.
READ THE REST AT…
Well I sure would like to-but where is it?
Comment by Ms RightWing, Ink — September 9, 2006 @ 9:43 am
If anyone (groups, polygamists, siblings, gays)
could legally marry anyone (ditto),
then we will see a divorce lawyer’s dream,
and a judges nightmare.
Comment by Ben USN (Ret) — September 9, 2006 @ 9:46 am
I’d be afraid her lips would explode during a kiss.
Pitt is a doofus.
“I’m going to hold my breath until everyone in the whole wide world becomes licentious,” followed by falling on the floor, writhing red-faced, kicking and screaming.
Hm. Then holding the breath, I guess…..or something…..
OR, how about, for added drama, he could threaten a suicide-duet unless everyone on Earth embraces sin as they do. And then, actually do it. LOL
What a lame cop-out-he just doesn’t want to get married-simple as that.
Comment by JamesonLewis3rd — September 9, 2006 @ 9:52 am
who is Brad Pitt?
Comment by Rock Slatestone — September 9, 2006 @ 10:24 am
who is Ms Jolly?
Comment by seneuba — September 9, 2006 @ 10:35 am
redlenses -
Google Mohammed: ( c. 570–632), Arab prophet and founder of Islam. In c. 610, in Mecca, he received the first of a series of revelations that, as the Koran, became the doctrinal and legislative basis of Islam. In the face of opposition to his preaching, he and his small group of supporters were forced to flee to Medina in 622 (the Hegira). Muhammad led his followers into a series of battles against the Meccans. In 630, Mecca capitulated and by his death Muhammad had united most of Arabia.
Following his example (He was 53 when he married his youngest wife - Aisha who was 9 years old.) In Iran as of June 2002 it is legal for a 9 year old girl to marry with her parents’ permission. Voices Behind the Veil p.136-137
So they have a sexual deviate, a pedophile and a pervert as founder of their “religion of peace”.
Fred Sinclair, Heirborn Ranger
Comment by Fred Sinclair — September 9, 2006 @ 10:53 am
Those two Hollyweirdos deserve each other. IMHO, of course.
I USED to like Brad (or maybe it was just his sixpack in Thelma and Louise). Nowadays, I’m finding my heartthrob in sports. Specifically, Rafael Nadal! I’m crushed, CRUSHED! I say, that he lost the other night and is no longer a contender in this year’s US Open.
Rafa, oh my Rafa! How will I survive until the Austrailian Open??????? (sob) Your sweet smile, your magnicifant ‘guns’, your devotion to family, your class, your magnicifant ‘guns’ (oops I already said that, but it bears repeating!!!!). Oh, Rafa! sob, sniffle, sob.
[Hey, I realize he’s only 20, but I can have my mid-life dreams can’t I?]
sob
Comment by MargeinMI — September 9, 2006 @ 10:59 am
Poor ol’ El Stinko the goat will never have a chance.
Comment by Maggie — September 9, 2006 @ 10:59 am
El Stinko is just as impotent as my ol’ mule. Why all my animules are impotent. Doncha make him feel tat bad now ya here.
Aunt Sarah
Comment by Ms RightWing, Ink — September 9, 2006 @ 11:42 am
As excuses for not getting married go, that one’s new…
Comment by camojack — September 9, 2006 @ 12:30 pm
Carnojack-I’ve heard it before. I’m sure it’s just an excuse.
Of course, every adult in America already has the right to get married.
Comment by radishthegreat — September 9, 2006 @ 1:05 pm
In think that’s the pitts.
Comment by Darthmeister — September 9, 2006 @ 7:37 pm
JL3 re:#6
Angie’s lips make it nice for Brad ,he’ll never have to worry about where she is ,just wet her lips ,and stick her to the wall.
Comment by prettyold — September 10, 2006 @ 9:48 pm
The best part is, the day will come when gays can get married. And everyone will realize it’s for the best for society, and long overdue. Woohoo!
Comment by torrentprime — September 11, 2006 @ 1:12 am
[…] - This has been up about a week, but Scott Ott nails Brad Pitt’s comments:“I will consider tying the knot with Angie when everyone else in the country who wants to be married to anyone, including to Angie, is legally able,” the 42-year-old actor said. “Angie and I are average folks who only do things that everyone else can do. Since fornication and cohabitation are legally available to the common people, that’s what we’re doing.” […]
Pingback by Spudlets » Tater Tots 4 — September 15, 2006 @ 2:05 pm
[…] Some older hits that tickled my fancy include Kennedy Slams Zawahiri for Politicizing 9/11 and 5 Years Later: Passenger Reports Care Free Flight. What the Hey, there’s also the world’s lamest excuse not to say “I do”, Brad Pitt to Marry Jolie When Everyone Can. […]
Pingback by Pros and Cons » Clever postings du jour - a smorgasbord of what interests me, or, if you prefer, a movable feast for the little grey cells. — September 29, 2006 @ 11:10 am