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UN Calls on Al Qaeda to Open Detention Facility

by Scott Ott · 3 Comments

(2006-05-20) — A day after releasing a report accusing the United States of torture, and demanding closure of its terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, the United Nations anti-torture panel called on Al Qaeda to “open a detention facility anywhere, hold prisoners for years without charges, and subject them to controversial interrogation techniques.”

“The U.S. is a super power that has violated the 1984 Convention Against Torture,” said U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, “But Al Qaeda is still is a developing power, so we must have different expectations and goals for Mr. Bin Laden.”

The panel’s report laid out a process designed to move al Qaeda in “baby steps” from its current practice of beheading and blowing up innocent civilians, to taking them prisoner and torturing them, to eventually running a clean, safe, modern prisoner-of-war camp in full compliance with the United Nations protocols.

Meanwhile, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said the Pentagon is considering a plan to transfer its 460 ‘Gitmo’ detainees to the U.N., “where a group of international thugs, still awaiting charges, would not attract so much attention.”

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Tags: Global News · U.S. News

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 California Conservative » UN Calls on Al Qaeda to Open Detention Facility // May 20, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    […] Making fun of news that’s already a joke, Scott Ott reports: […]

  • 2 EppsNet: Notes from the Golden Orange // May 20, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    Best Place to Hide an International Thug?

    UNITED NATIONS, May 19 — A U.N. anti-torture panel Friday called on the United States to close its prison for terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to expressly ban controversial interrogation techniques, and to halt the transfer of detain…

  • 3 CaNN :: We started it. // Jun 2, 2006 at 1:13 pm

    […] SCRAPPLEFACE: “UN Calls on Al Qaeda to Open Detention Facility” …. (scrappleface) […]

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