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Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · 32 Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2006-02-19) — As the global death toll from protests over editorial cartoons rose to 45 yesterday, an Islamic scholar, or Mufti, issued a new fatwa adding a “Sixth Pillar” to the traditional five requirements of the religion.

The following is the new revised standard version of the pillars of Islam…
1. Testifying to God’s one-ness: “There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His prophet.”
2. Prayer: five times daily
3. Fasting: during daylight in the month of Ramadan
4. Giving charity: 2.5 percent of income to needy Muslims
5. Pilgrimage (Hajj) to Mecca, for those who are able, or
6. Participation in a violent demonstration to protect Allah from insult

The sixth pillar is technically part of the fifth pillar, the fatwa explains, “and it provides a cheap, convenient alternative to the Mecca Hajj that can be performed at an embassy or fast-food establishment near you.”

According to a written statement to be read in mosques worldwide this week. “This new expression of devotion is simply an acknowledgement of the important place that sacramental rioting has come to hold in the lives of so many Muslims.”

The fatwa has been issued, the statement said, “to codify the official silence of major Muslim leaders over the bloodshed and property damage caused by our followers as they valiantly try to shelter Allah (the great and powerful) from devastating emotional harm caused by these vicious cartoons.”

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Tags: Global News · Theology

32 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Right Mind : Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam // Feb 19, 2006 at 9:58 am

    [...] Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam From Scott Ott: As the global death toll from protests over editorial cartoons rose to 45 yesterday, an Islamic scholar, or Mufti, issued a new fatwa adding a “Sixth Pillar” to the traditional five requirements of the religion.The following is the new revised standard version of the pillars of Islam…1. Testifying to God’s one-ness: “There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His prophet.”2. Prayer: five times daily3. Fasting: during daylight in the month of Ramadan4. Giving charity: 2.5 percent of income to needy Muslims5. Pilgrimage (Hajj) to Mecca, for those who are able, or6. Participation in a violent demonstration to protect Allah from insultThe sixth pillar is technically part of the fifth pillar, the fatwa explains, “and it provides a cheap, convenient alternative to the Mecca Hajj that can be performed at an embassy or fast-food establishment near you.”According to a written statement to be read in mosques worldwide this week. “This new expression of devotion is simply an acknowledgement of the important place that sacramental rioting has come to hold in the lives of so many Muslims.”The fatwa has been issued, the statement said, “to codify the official silence of major Muslim leaders over the bloodshed and property damage caused by our followers as they valiantly try to shelter Allah (the great and powerful) from devastating emotional harm caused by these vicious cartoons.” [...]

  • 2 sisu // Feb 19, 2006 at 11:01 am

    “Let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark”

    Dr. Seuss’s political cartoons from the early 1940s are just as dead-on target as when he first drew them, and especially pertinent today as the ideological heirs of the good Doctor’s ‘Appeasement’ characters run amok in the streets of Europe

  • 3 Small Town Veteran // Feb 19, 2006 at 4:37 pm

    Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam

    Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam Scott Ott (2006-02-19)- As the global death toll from protests over editorial cartoons rose to 45 yesterday, an Islamic scholar, or Mufti, issued a new fatwa adding a Sixth Pillar

  • 4 ExtremeCentre.org » Une fatwa ajoute le devoir d’émeute aux cinq piliers de l’Islam // Feb 19, 2006 at 5:43 pm

    [...] Scrappleface lagrette @ 16:21 Catégorie(s): Islamisme et RATP et Rumeurs, bruits et soupçons et Guligulis et glouglous [...]

  • 5 Inoperable Terran » Mheh // Feb 20, 2006 at 8:59 am

    [...] Scott Ott has revealed the new Sixth Pillar of Islam. Posted by Ian S. in [...]

  • 6 California Conservative » Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam // Feb 20, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    [...] A renowned satirical scholar of both religion and world history, Scott Ott reports: [...]

  • 7 CaNN :: We started it. // Feb 21, 2006 at 10:57 am

    [...] - SCRAPPLEFACE: “Fatwa Adds Riot Duty as Sixth Pillar of Islam” … (scrappleface) [...]

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