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Sen. Reid Lobbies Qaeda to Boost Vegas Threat Level

by Scott Ott · 2 Comments

(2006-01-05) — After the Department of Homeland Security dropped Las Vegas from its list of high-risk targets eligible for millions of dollars in anti-terror grants, Sen. Harry Reid, D-NV, today issued a personal appeal to al Qaeda “to make Vegas a priority commensurate with its significance to American culture.”

“The decision-makers at al Qaeda seem to be out-of-step with the American people,” said Sen. Reid. “They need to understand that a hit on Vegas would have much greater psychological impact than New York or Los Angeles.”

However, the Senator may have to “get in line” to have his appeal heard, according to one unnamed Qaeda source.

“We used to devote ourselves to the study of the Koran and to planning devastating attacks on innocent civilians,” the Qaeda spokesman said. “Now we spend all day on the phone with politicians who lobby us to bump up the chatter about their cities just so they can get more funding from the federal government. This welfare-state mentality is turning our jihad into a bureaucratic quagmire.”

The Qaeda source acknowledged that Las Vegas is currently only a ‘Code Pink’ priority in its color-coded threatening system, “because we want the maximum PR impact, but we know that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

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Tags: U.S. News

2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Logical Meme » Reid’s Outrage // Jan 5, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    […] Scrappleface has a funny riff on this. […]

  • 2 Sister Toldjah // Jan 5, 2006 at 4:07 pm

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