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Bush to Negotiate with Zarqawi on Troop Pullout

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2005-06-25) — In a surprising change of heart, President George Bush today called on al-Qaeda deputy Abu Musab al-Zarqawi to “come to the table” to negotiate the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq.

Although the president had been steadfast in asserting that he had no timetable for quitting Iraq and that freedom and democracy would prevail, today’s statement was tantamount to an admission of defeat.

“We gave it the old college try,” said Mr. Bush, in a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jafaari. “But our opponents in the Democrat party were right. It’s a quagmire. We can’t beat the insurgents, and our shameless treatment of prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo have killed any chance we had at winning hearts and minds on the Arab street.”

Mr. Bush said he would dispatch a U.S. envoy to the al-Qaeda embassy in Baghdad with an invitation to Mr. Zarqawi to come to Camp David and work out terms of peace, and the withdrawal timetable.

“I kind of hoped that Iraq’s 25 million people would experience the blessings of freedom,” Mr. Bush said, “but with mid-term elections coming up here in the states, Republicans need to show the American people that we’re as sensitive to media polling data as our Democrat opponents.”

Upon hearing the news of the Bush-Zarqawi peace talks, Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, immediately filed papers forming a 2008 presidential exploratory committee.

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Tags: Global News

0 responses so far ↓

  • 1 basil's blog // Jun 26, 2005 at 10:32 am

    Brunch: 6/26/2005

    Try one of these specials with your weekend brunch: ScrappleFace reports that Bush gives it the old Democratic try. Feisty Republican Whore has got to kick off her Sunday shoes. Eyes On The Ball News says Bolton has plans for