Unions Mount Telegraph and Train Campaign for Kerry
(2004-10-23) — America’s labor union leaders are mounting perhaps the largest grassroots effort in history to elect John Forbes Kerry, using all of the latest technology including telegraph, trains, stage coaches and handbills.
“Kerry is the only one who can get back all of those manufacturing jobs we lost because of Bush, Cheney and their big oil cronies,” said one unnamed union leader from his mahogany-paneled Washington D.C. office suite. “President Kerry will negotiate with countries like India, China and Singapore and they’ll return our high-paying assembly line jobs to the American heartland.”
Union members who, regardless of party affiliation, pay a portion of their income each week to the Democrat National Committee, are enthusiastically getting aboard Pullman cars and stage coaches for the long cross-country campaign journey. They stop in each little town to distribute ‘Kerry for President’ handbills to merchants, farmers and the local citizenry. When they’re done in one town, they telegraph ahead so the folk can organize a rally at the bandstand.
“This is the most important election in history,” said the union source. “If we don’t stop Bush, he’ll have us all in college or tech schools learning new skills for the 21st century, or starting small businesses. That wave of innovation and entrepreneurship will undermine everything that America’s unions have fought to defend.”
