(2004-08-05) — According to an unnamed law professor at the University of Missouri (MU), federal judges in the midwest today are “racing their colleagues for the prize” of overturning the Missouri state constitutional amendment passed this week which defines marriage as a monogamous heterosexual union.

“The average citizen cannot comprehend the visceral thrill of taking pen in hand and reversing the so-called ‘will of the people’ with a flick of the wrist,” said the MU professor. “It is the juice of the judiciary. There is nothing sweeter than saying ‘a million commoners are wrong and I’m right’. It makes me wish I were behind the bench rather than the law school lectern. I’m so jealous.”

The amendment, which effectively bans homosexual marriage, won the support of seven-out-of-10 voters on a primary election day that drew twice the normal turnout. Backers of the amendment spent only $19,000 promoting it, while opponents pulled out all the stops and spent $450,000 in a vain attempt to defeat it.

“The fact that support for the amendment was so overwhelming just makes it more exciting to invalidate,” said the professor. “Judges are giggling like school girls over the chance. They’ll comb the docket for a test case just for bragging rights.”

The amendment, which takes effect in September says: “That to be valid and recognized in this state, a marriage shall exist only between a man and a woman.”

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