(2002-08-19) — The Maryland Department of Natural Resources has decided that Natural Selection, a key component of Darwinian Evolution, is just too slow, and may not produce desirable results. So, the Natural Resources agency will poison a pond full of predatory fish this week to make sure that these super-fit fish don’t survive.
“Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be survival of the fittest and all,” said department spokeswoman Heather Lynch,”but if these Chinese Snakehead fish are so fit, let ‘em survive the fish poison and plant poison we’re gonna dump in this pond.”
An evolutionary biologist at the University of Maryland acknowledged that perhaps the Darwinian scheme “caps out” when you get creatures who can manufacture herbicides and piscicides like Diquat, Glyphosate and Rotenone.

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