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Bush: Nobel Winners’ Work May Defeat Al Qaeda

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2002-10-07) — Three scientists who won the Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine found themselves on the forefront of the war on terror when President Bush invited them to the White House. The President believes their research will help the U.S. put an end to Al Qaeda and Usama Bin Laden.
“I brought these noble lariats to the White House,” said Mr. Bush, “because they know more than anyone about a tiny little soil worm called a nematode. Right away, that made me think of Bin Laden, down there underground. And when I heard their research centered on apoptosis, or cell death, I thought about all those Al Qaeda cells we’re trying get rid of. I think this is the breakthrough we’ve been looking for. We’re gonna pop those little cells…get it…like apoptosis. You gotta say it slowly…if you were from Texas you’d be bustin’ a gut right now.”

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