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Devil Wins Hajj Battle Again, 244 Trampled to Death

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2004-02-01) — In the annual contest between stone pillars symbolizing the devil and thousands of devoted stone-throwing Muslims, the devil won again this year as at least 244 pilgrims died of trampling during the Hajj (pilgrimage) to Mecca.

“We were disorganized and Satan came ready to play,” said an unnamed Imam speaking for Allah, the official deity of Islam. “We threw everything we had at him and those stone pillars are none the worse for the attack. But hundreds of our people are dead, or on the injured reserve list. Ultimately, you have to blame leadership. Allah and his preachers take personal responsibility for the loss.”

The Imam said the loss will not affect his mission “to propagate the deep truths of our religion so that all citizens of earth can benefit from the peaceful, intellectual and spiritual teachings of Islam.”

“I know it’s a cliche,” he added. “But we’ll go back to the films and the playbook, make some adjustments and next year we’ll be back to rock the Hajj.”

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Tags: Theology

0 responses so far ↓

  • 1 democrats give conservatives indigestion // Feb 1, 2004 at 6:55 pm

    On the lighter side

    SuperBowl Sunday…..GOOD. Having to go to work at midnight on SuperBowl Sunday…..NOT so good. No SuperBowl parties for me! At any rate, if you aren’t watching the game, go see the game being played in Mecca in yet another great…

  • 2 Jackalope Pursuivant // Feb 2, 2004 at 12:02 am

    Meh. What’s a little trampling between friends?

    I was speechless when I heard that 244 people were trampled to death whilte throwing pebbles at a pillar symbolizing Satan, as part of the Hajj pilgrimage. It’s not that I’m surprised. Tramplings are a part of Hajj, apparently. No,

  • 3 democrats give conservatives indigestion // Mar 21, 2004 at 8:44 pm

    On the lighter side

    SuperBowl Sunday…..GOOD. Having to go to work at midnight on SuperBowl Sunday…..NOT so good. No SuperBowl parties for me! At any rate, if you aren’t watching the game, go see the game being played in Mecca in yet another great…