(2004-01-28) — If residents of New Hampshire had more high-speed cable and DSL Internet connections, Democrat presidential hopeful Howard Dean said he would have defeated Senator John F. Kerry, to whom he actually lost by 13 points.
“It’s those dial-up Net Neanderthals that are killing us,” said Mr. Dean after his second place finish. “People with 56k connections or worse don’t spend their time hitting political web sites, joining the community on our weblog or donating money to candidates online. They check email, see what’s hot on eBay and logoff.”
As the campaign now moves south, Mr. Dean said he’s increasingly concerned about the ‘Net Neanderthal’ phenomenon.
“I’ve heard that in South Carolina, the Internet is actually delivered by pickup trucks,” Mr. Dean added. “When I’m president I’ll create a federal agency to finance rural internet cooperatives to bring high-speed Web access to every American. I’ll pay for it by withdrawing our troops from Iraq, increasing taxes on the rich and creating a single-payer universal health care system that will cover every American. That’s what Jesus would do.”
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1 The Daily Lemon // Jan 28, 2004 at 10:57 pm
What would Dean do?
As the insanely hillarious Scott Ott reported on his site scrappleface.com, this is a taste of what Dean would do if elected President of the United States. The falsly humorous qoute from Dean… Dean Blames N.H. Loss on ‘Dial-Up Net…