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Bush Speech Features ‘Dean-Like Jurassic Screech’

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace · No Comments · · Print This Story Print This Story

(2004-01-20) — Less than a day after Democrat presidential candidate Howard Dean motivated his followers with an aggressive screeching noise, President George Bush plans to use a similar tactic in tonight’s State of the Union address, according to a senior administration official.

“Howard’s non-syllabic verbal flourish put his opponents on notice and set a new standard for statesman-like oratory,” said the unnamed official. “During the foreign policy segment of tonight’s address, the President will cut loose with a Dean-like jurassic screech that will set your hair on end. I’ve heard him do it in rehearsal, and it will definitely tell the terrorists that America is a force to be reckoned with. Our Commander-in-Chief is one tough velociraptor.”

Upon hearing the news, Mr. Dean said, “George Bush has to imitate me just to look presidential. What a phoney!”

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Tags: Politics

0 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Classical Values // Jan 28, 2004 at 11:53 pm

    Yeeeaaagh! Time to crash?

    Didn’t Howard Dean perform a remarkable imitation of the classic Confederate “rebel yell”? That last link (a blog called “Rebel Yell”) links to an intriguing musical rendition of Dean’s “Rebel Yell” by Lileks. Here’s another blogger (from Vermont), who…