(2004-01-12) — In another humble effort to avoid the political spotlight during a presidential election year, Senator Hillary Clinton today introduced legislation to create a government-controlled national database of patient health records.
“Mrs. Clinton is just quietly going about the business of the Senate,” said an unnamed top aide. “This is just a run-of-the-mill Senate bill which is not expected to spark the kind of debate and media buzz that would place all eyes on Senator Clinton just a week before the Iowa caucuses. Mrs. Clinton hopes Democrat voters pay attention to the eight or nine people who seem to be seeking the party nomination, and try to find out whatever it is they say they stand for. She will, of course, campaign on behalf of the party’s nominee.”
In related news, DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe has dispatched emergency medical technicians who will travel with each Democrat candidate and administer oxygen in case it’s suddenly sucked out of the room.
