Do you read a lot of books and/or magazines?
Maybe you love it, or maybe you’re compelled to do so by some academic or vocational institution.
Do you use highlighter pens to mark important passages which you later have to type into your computer?
What a waste of time!
How would you like to capture the excerpts you want or need to remember with a simple sweep of the hand across the page?
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(2003-03-26) — AMBER ALERT: Connie Chung
40-50 years old, Asian-American, female, dark hair, dark eyes, 110-125 pounds, missing for about a week, last seen at New York studios of CNN, wearing bright red dress with matching lipstick and perfectly coiffed hair.
Police found evidence that she left the network bleeding cash.

(2003-03-25) — The United States, in a goodwill gesture, has offered to outfit the Iraqi Republican Guard with all new Russian-made high-tech equipment.
“Russia’s track-record for excellence in high-tech manufacturing is legendary,” said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman. “That’s why you can hardly walk into an electronics store anywhere in the world without seeing shelves bulging with Russian-made electronic devices.”
Russian President Vladimir Putin denied the existence of any deal to provide such equipment to the Iraqis.
“We categorically reject the accusation that Russian factories produce high-quality electronics,” he said.

(2003-03-25) — A boycott on products associated with America threatens to foil a decades-old secret U.S. plot to poison Europeans with chemical agents.
The deadly chemicals can cause a range of diseases from lung cancer and heart disease to diabetes. They work slowly and enter the body through voluntary consumption by the victims.
However, now that some Europeans are boycotting American businesses and products like Marlboro, McDonald’s, Budweiser and Coca-Cola, a CIA spokesman said “new plans must be formulated to neutralize the power of the mighty French, Germans and Belgians.”

(2003-03-25) — Television crews from American news networks missed an “anti-war” demonstration yesterday in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania.
Organizers of the spontaneous protest estimated attendance at 3.7 million, but the demonstrators dispersed within 10 minutes after a speaker mentioned that no TV cameras were there.
Media experts report that this may be the first anti-war demonstration which failed to attract network coverage.

(2003-03-25) — President Bush will give a live TV speech tonight to tell Americans that “people get hurt in war.” The President reportedly just learned about this danger by watching TV and reading newspapers.
White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said that despite months of planning, no one in the Pentagon or the administration knew the hazards of firearms aimed at our soldiers.
“We also didn’t realize that the enemy could capture some of our troops and hold them as prisoners,” said Mr. Fleischer. “This was a complete shock to us. I’m sure the American people had no idea these things could happen. We have to thank the journalism community for alerting us.”
The President and his advisors have also been alarmed to discover that mechanical and electronic devices sometimes fail, and that some people do bad things to others.
“Up until now the news media has been shaping our expectations about the war,” Mr. Fleischer said. “But it seems that war is not so predictable. We’re now rethinking everything.”

You May Use It Every Day
If I had to choose between the Leatherman Wave, and broadband internet service, I just might take the Leatherman. In the two years since I have owned it, I have used this versatile tool nearly every day. You don’t realize how much you need a tool kit on your hip, until you have one.
UPDATE: Read the comments under this post to find out what Scrappleface readers really think about the Leatherman Tool.
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(2003-03-24) — Michael Moore, the Academy Award-winning documentarist, exploded this morning while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, NJ.
Mr. Moore was coming in for a landing at Lakehurst after his flight from Los Angeles following last night’s Oscar ceremony.
Many witnesses said it was, at first, a thrilling sight as Mr. Moore appeared over the western horizon and approached the docking tower.
But suddenly a tongue of flame appeared. The flame spread rapidly; within a few seconds Mr. Moore exploded in a huge ball of fire. He fell, tail first, with flames shooting out the nose and crashed.
A radio announcer, broadcasting the event for the CBC, shouted: “He’s burst into flames….Get out of the way, please, oh my, this is terrible, oh my, get out of the way, please…Oh, the humanity!”
Untold numbers of people were wounded in the incident. Investigators on the scene offered no explanation for “this horrifying episode.”

(2003-03-23) — U.S. officials don’t know when, or how it happened, but intelligence in the field indicates that an apparent ‘decapitation attack’ on the peace movement succeeded.
“The anti-Bush protestors are wandering about in clusters, shouting a variety of unrelated messages,” said an unnamed Pentagon source. “It’s clear that there is no cohesive leadership. The protestors look bedraggled and confused. We don’t know when the decapitation attack happened, or who did it. Frankly, we’ve just been ignoring them and moving on to our objectives.”
A spokesman for protestors in San Francisco rejected the Pentagon assertion.
“We’re focused and determined to stop this war for oil and let the Iraqi people run their own democracy,” the spokesman said. “And we must seek justice for gays and do a re-count of the 2000 presidential election ballots and let women choose abortions and Bush is worse than Saddam and we still haven’t captured bin Laden and what about North Korean nukes and world opinion is against us and get Israel out of Palestine and force the U.S. to obey Jacques Chirac and Kofi Annan, and…did I leave anything out? But anyway, that’s our purpose and we will never waver…and, remember, all these protests are spontaneous. The next one is scheduled for tomorrow night at seven.”

(2003-03-23) — The Children’s Television Workshop (CTW), producers of Sesame Street, announced today that the show will soon feature a muppet called Saddami. The new muppet will be used to educate children about tolerating diversity in human behavior.
The idea came to Sesame Street writers while watching a video of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein recorded after the so-called ‘decapitation attack.’
“We saw Mr. Hussein on the video and he looked so life-like,” said an unnamed writer. “His puffy round head, funny glasses, French beret and broom-like mustache just shouted out ‘Muppet!’. Combined with the way he turned the pages on that steno pad, you could almost see the little rods controlling his arm movements.”
In the first episode of the new season, Saddami will attack Ernie, Bert and Grover, turning them into “a pile of crumbled foam and rags”. At first Big Bird will threaten to peck him to death. But the show’s human cast members will persuade the residents of Sesame Street to leave Saddami alone, because “it takes all kinds of behavior to make up the circle of life, and we shouldn’t punish Saddami just because his morals are different.”