(2015-01-16) — Marilyn Tavenner, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services official who oversaw the launch of HealthCare.gov, announced today that she would resign from the Obama administration, “just as soon as I can actually log on to Resign.gov.”

A spokesman for the federal government’s human resources department said they’ve just rolled out a new resignation system that will make it faster and easier for federal employees to end their careers “with a few clicks of the mouse.” However, the system has “a few minor glitches that we’re working through.”

Tavenner said that at first Resign.gov would not let her create an account, and then it said she was in a “waiting room” and should check back often. Eventually, she was allowed to enter information, but then the system didn’t recognize her.

“It’s really frustrating,” Tavenner said. “I can’t even find out what my retirement benefits are without entering my life story, and I can’t even do that because the system’s locked up and I can’t log in.”

Yesterday, Resign.gov was taken down for maintenance after it unexpectedly got deluged with as many as 13 simultaneous users.

 

(2014-03-11) — Reports from the International Space Station (ISS) indicate that Russia has effectively annexed several modules of the orbiting laboratory, allegedly at the invitation of a Russian-speaking scientist aboard.

President Vladimir Putin said his forces moved in “peacefully and are committed to protecting the interests of pro-Russian persons on the ISS” — which currently comprises cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin, who felt threatened by some laboratory rodents run amok.

Mr. Tyurin’s American and Japanese counterparts are reportedly “delighted” by the move, according to Izvestia, the Russian newspaper, quoting sources in the Kremlin.

At the White House, President Obama is said to be in phone contact with NASA, President Putin and U.N. Secretary General Ban-Ki Moon, from a nearby golf resort where his family is taking a much-needed mid-week vacation. The U.S. president called on his Russian counterpart to observe international and galactic law.

“If Vladimir Putin continues to occupy large sections of the ISS,” said Mr. Obama, “he needs to know that the United States is fully behind the future actions of the United Nations, and that no options are off the table, except military force and economic sanctions.”

Mr. Obama has dispatched Secretary of State John Kerry to the ISS, where he’ll arrive this weekend aboard a Falcon 9 cargo launch, after several hours of grueling training with George Clooney and Sandra Bullock.

Secretary Kerry will carry a red magic marker.

(2014-01-11) — More upbeat economic news this morning from the White House as the latest jobs report indicates nearly 63 percent of working-age people still consider themselves part of “the workforce,” and a majority of them actually have jobs.

Administration spokesman Jay Carney said the Labor Department report “should buoy the stock market because 74,000 new jobs represents a full 37 percent of expected job creation.” However, he acknowledged “even that impressive number can go higher if we do more to reduce expectations.”

In the official White House news release, President Obama said, “Jobs are a key part of my economic plan, and I’m happy to report that most people have one.”

Carney credited President Obama’s policies for the “economic surge,” but admitted that the president hasn’t done enough yet persuade the Labor Department to reduce the official labor force number so that the unemployment figure can come down even further.

“Reducing the size of the work force is the key to reducing the unemployment number,” Carney said. “But the president can’t be blamed for the dearth of discouraged people dropping out. I think everyone agrees the president is doing all he can to discourage them.”