Archive for January 8th, 2014

Obama Reportedly Offered Sarah Palin Permit to Shoot “Wolves of Wall Street” from Helicopter

Obama mulls permit

President Obama reviews text of a “presidential permit” that would have granted Sarah Palin the right to hunt “wolves of Wall Street” from a helicopter as a way to close the income inequality gap.

(2014-01-08) — As his economic recovery produced record corporate profits and a spiking stock market, but left millions of Americans unemployed or underemployed, President Obama reportedly considered granting Sarah Palin a permit to hunt from a helicopter for so-called “wolves of Wall Street,” according to an internal White House memo published today in the New York Times.

The revelation came shortly after Obama made remarks on the state of the economy yesterday, while standing before a backdrop of unemployed people who have been left behind by the recovery.

By leaking the memo, the administration sought to “assure middle-class Americans that no option is off the table in the president’s war on income inequality,” according to an administration official who was authorized to speak while preserving plausible deniability for the president.

“Everyone knows that nobody knows how find jobs for the millions bypassed by the Obama recovery,” the unnamed source said. “But the president understands that if you can’t close the income gap from the bottom up, you can certainly do it from the top down.”

Former Alaska Gov. Palin immediately took to Facebook to acknowledge that she initially welcomed the opportunity.

“There’s always fuel in the helo,” Palin wrote, “I’ve got Ted Nugent on speed dial, and we’re locked and loaded.”

However, Palin said her enthusiasm for the project waned when she realized the location was Wall Street, noting, “I thought they said K Street.”

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