by Scott Ott
(2005-09-27) -- An attorney for the plaintiffs in a Pennsylvania courtroom yesterday briefly startled a federal district judge by stalking, slaying and eating a member of the legal team defending the Dover Area School District during a case that many are calling 'round two' of the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial.
Judge John E. Jones III cautioned that the impromptu display of the survival of the fittest, introduced as 'Exhibit A', would not affect his opinion on the question of whether intelligent design may be taught as an alternative to evolution in a public school science class, or whether students may be informed about unanswered questions, logical flaws and faulty evidence that cast doubt on the evolutionary theory.
"While the predatory attorney for the plaintiffs has demonstrated his superior fitness," said Judge Jones, "we have no proof that distinctive genetic material led to his triumph, or that such advantageous DNA will successfully pass to his progeny. He has merely demonstrated the efficacy of natural selection as a negative force for weeding out the weak, rather than as a creative force responsible for the origination and progress of earth's incredible web of life."
The Judge did warn the plaintiff's counsel to "be careful that further exhibits don't merely reinforce negative stereotypes about the legal profession."
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