October 26, 2005
CNN Poll: Bush Would Lose Election or Be Arrested by Scott Ott (2005-10-25) -- If a presidential election were held this year, George Bush would either lose to an anonymous Democrat or win and be jailed for violating the term-limit provision found in the 22nd amendment to the Constitution, according to the latest CNN/USA Today/Gallup/Nabisco/Toys R Us Poll released Tuesday. In the hypothetical matchup between the increasingly-unpopular two-term president and an unnamed Democrat, 75 percent of respondents said they liked the views, character and personal hygiene habits of the unnamed opponent better than those of the illegally-incumbent president. In related news, a hypothetical CNN poll shows that 95 percent of Americans would give a pollster misleading answers "just to jack up the results." The make-believe phone survey of 832 Americans also revealed that 97 percent of respondents strongly agree with the statement: "I'm sorry we can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, we'll get right back to you." Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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