August 31, 2005
iTunes Phone May Allow Parents to Talk to Teens by Scott Ott (2005-08-31) -- Next week's expected announcement that Apple and Motorola have teamed to produce an iTunes phone, which stores and plays digital music like an iPod, gives hope to parents of teenagers worldwide that they might soon speak with their children again. Apple and Motorola engineers have labored round the clock for months on the secret project -- code named iPhune -- to find a way to keep a teenager's mind continually awash in popular music and yet still allow occasional interaction with the family, in case of emergency. "When he's got the iPod on, nothing gets through to him," said one Philadelphia father of a 15-year-old boy. "But if this iTunes phone lets me get inside those earbuds, maybe I'll have a chance. I've been trying for weeks to let him know that Grandma died." "Text messaging on cell phones wasn't cutting it," said one unnamed Apple engineer, "since parents couldn't figure out how eight numeric keys could produce 26 letters. This is a real breakthrough that means a teenager will never have to listen to an unamplified, analog sound ever again." The new device completely eliminates the hassle of removing earbuds, except for the recommended monthly cleaning. Future versions of the iPhune are expected to include hydraulic shock absorbers to reduce spinal damage caused by the repetitive stress of bobbing and thrashing the head. Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly | |
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