by Scott Ott
(2005-08-29) -- President George Bush, in the face of Iraq's frustrating constitutional negotiations, persistent insurgent attacks and his own plummeting domestic popularity, today announced that he has reduced expectations for the outcome of U.S. policy toward Iraq.
"I had been hoping for a free, self-governing Iraq as a catalyst for increasing liberty in the Arab world leading to reduced terrorism by Muslim fanatics worldwide," said the president, "That might have been a bit ambitious. So, now our official policy is to help create a political climate in Iraq that results in mass graves that are at least 25 percent less massive than during the years that Saddam Hussein ruled. We'd also like to see torture of political opponents cut in half by the year 2025, and elections for national tyrant that offer a third choice -- yes, no and probably."
The president said that while the new goals are not as idealistic, they're much more "do-able" and will allow the Bush administration to "declare victory and move on."
The smaller goals follow revelations by news outlets that Coalition forces have accomplished nothing in Iraq since the overthrow of Mr. Hussein, and that U.S. military personnel spend most of their time trying to find improvised explosive devices (IED) by driving over them.
A reporter for The New York Times spoke for most American journalists when he noted that "nothing good ever seems to happen here as far as I can see from my hotel room news bureau and my frontline outpost in the hotel lounge."
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