by Scott Ott
(2005-08-04) -- Noted terrorist Ayman al-Zawahiri, of the al Qaeda terror group, announced today that his terror cells would use terrifying violent acts to terrorize people in Great Britain and elsewhere.
"Because Blair and Bush continue to ignore our terrorism," said Mr. Zawahiri on a video released by al Qaeda's American cable news affiliates, "we shall be forced to employ terror methods to strike terror into the hearts of the terrorized masses."
A spokesman for CNN ensured viewers that the airing of this terrifying footage by the Cable News Network does not make it complicit in the terrorist activity.
"We simply edited the tape and showed it on our network," an unnamed CNN spokesman said. "We didn't script it. The views expressed on the Zawahiri tape do not necessarily reflect the opinion of CNN, Time Warner, or its affiliates."
Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Editor's Picks
