by Scott Ott
(2005-08-04) -- Encouraged by their close loss in this week's special election for a vacant House seat in Ohio, the Democrat National Committee (DNC) has mapped a 50-state "virtual victory" strategy for 2006 and 2008.
"It feels so good to almost win," said DNC chairman Howard Dean. "We now believe we can rally our base around the hope of down-to-the-wire losses in traditionally Republican districts coast-to-coast."
While the concept of virtual victory is familiar to the party that nearly won the presidency in 2000 and 2004, this is the first time the DNC will stake millions of dollars on advertising explicitly promoting narrow defeats. The ad campaign is tentatively titled "Close Counts."
"People need something to believe in," said Mr. Dean. "And while it's tough to believe that a party with no coherent platform can return to power, most progressives still believe this is the party of the little guy. Of course, the little guy usually loses, but we want our major donors to be able to say, in the words of Maxwell Smart, 'missed it by that much.'"
In related news, America Coming Together, the progressive fundraising group backed by billionaire George Soros which failed to make a difference for Democrats in swing states in 2004, today announced it would disband and form a new, leaner organization with the narrow mission of handling money transfers from wealthy contributors to political strategists and consultants.
"America Coming Together fulfilled that mission in 2004," said Mr. Soros. "As a businessman, I focus on results. So we have moved the goalposts to reflect the results we achieved."
Donate | More Satire | Printer-Friendly |
Editor's Picks
