by Scott Ott
(2005-08-02) -- President George Bush, under pressure from the Democrat National Committee because he's in superior physical condition while many public school students are lethargic and obese, today announced a new mandatory physical fitness program for members of Congress.
"If we're going to send a message about exercise to America's youth," said the president, "it starts with leadership. I predict a fitness craze will sweep this nation when children see Ted Kennedy, Charlie Rangel, Barney Frank, Jerrold Nadler and other top leaders, astride their mountain bikes, jogging the streets and pumping iron. Americans will start running for the hills."
Under the new measure, all Senators and Representatives will maintain the same six-day-per week fitness regimen the president uses.
"This is a pilot program," Mr. Bush said. "If we can get Congress whipped into shape, then I'll be ready to listen to proposals to pump more money into public school phys ed programs. But if we can't cut the fat on Capitol Hill, I don't think we should roll it out to the schools."
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